Tomorrow is moving day. !
Last night we were getting ready to go on a walk and Ant wanted to stay behind to play with his friends. As he rode off on his scooter, he passed our neighbors who were moving an old box spring to the dumpster. He said something about it looking heavy and one of the two girls said, "Yeah, do you want to help us?"
"No, you need the exercise," was his reply, and then he scootered off.
We had to talk to the girls to find out what he'd said, and we didn't get to talk to him about it until we got back. He's lucky I didn't find him on our way out- it gave me some time to chew on it. When we came back, we briefly chewed him out, then Chris drove the van and Ant and I followed him up to Stead.
I suspected that Ant's used to Chris giving him a hard time and wants to share the wealth, so we talked about why dads do that to sons, whether or not it works, and who it's appropriate to do that to. I reminded him that I'd said many times that he needed to treat females well, whether they treat themselves well or not. That was a hard one because I needed to acknowledge that he needs to treat everyone well, but that it's going to be taken especially bad to treat a female like that.
A week or so ago Chris heard him call some kid fluffy, which is his and Grandma's fat joke. Chris told him that was messed up, but Ant said this kid is an asshole to him. Last night Ant told me that he hadn't called that kid fat ever since, even though the kid still isn't nice to him. He also said he thinks he understands why the kid is mean. They used to be friends but the kid started hanging out with older kids that make fun of Ant, so this kid joined in. I am thrilled that he's thinking about the motivation for being an asshole.
I asked him why he was calling those girls fat and he said he was trying to be funny. I told him that when he called to apologize he might want to explain that. Otherwise the apology would seem empty- that he was still an asshole kid, just one that got caught. Well, I didn't say it like that. He understood and did tell them why he said it. He also told me that he was thinking about helping them at first, but then the smart ass comment popped out. I think he offered help on auto-pilot, then remembered that he'd spent the last two hours carrying boxes down the stairs and found that he wasn't interested in helping any more.
At least he automatically offers help, right? I love that part.
So after the walk, the lecture, and the drive out to Stead, we're sitting down to eat and Ant goes, "You know what I don't get?"
Taller, I thought. I giggled internally but said nothing. Later on, Chris told me how the apology phone call went and I told him about my restraint at dinner.
"You should have said it," he laughed.
Maybe yes? Maybe no. Would it have been an isolated funny joke or would it have paid him back for his fat joke? Is it okay for me to join in and give him a hard time? Is it okay because we're family? None of that feels right so I'm glad I didn't say it.
I'm off to go walk the girls before I start packing all... day... long... The van is full and parked at our new house, today is final prep day, and tomorrow we pay rent, pick up the keys and start moving in. We are totally excited, all of us. Jasmine will start barfing any moment now.
