Game night at Olsen's

This picture makes it look like the most serious game of Aggravation ever, but it also looks as if Riley is playing.  They just look grumpy because Elaine and I were kicking butt.

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Will I make it three blogs or will I finally get up?

I get lots of ads from Blogger, the most recent of which was "The Dunkin Donuts ap is finally here!" Oh, does it tell you how much each donut shortens your life span? How long you have to run to work it off? Does track your donuts and tell you how close you are to diabetes?

By the way, someone told me the other day that they are "hippoglycemic." It's supposed to be a long vowel sound, like hi, not like hip. Hypoglycemic, like hypochondriac and hydroelectric. Cracked me up, and conjured visions of Fantasia.

So it's 9:30 and I'm still in bed. Ahhh. I told Riley last night that we could sleep in, but Solo did not the memo. She started mewing in my ear at 6:18. I guess I do have a backup alarm clock.

I'm going back to Kohl's today for some more of these perfect, heathered, thin, v-neck t-shirts with my 30% off coupon. I can use it until it expires, WHAAAAAAAAT?

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Those who know

I went to Kohl's last night to blow off some of the emotional nonsense of this week with some retail therapy.

I prowled the clearance racks, of course. Their clearance was an extra 25% off, which they do often between seasons. Working there must be a nightmare- I know I must try on fifty items every time I hit the dressing room. And those clearance racks are some serious black holes.

I found (I'm so proud) six shirts, most of which show off my waist as Jenea instructed. One of them I don't intend to wear at all- I bought it for the attached scarf. Yes, I liked the scarf that much; yes, the deal was that good; and yes, Jenny bought a scarf. It's got wide stripes the short way and it's white and soft yellow. The scarf yellow is good; the shirt yellow is not.

Kohl's non-sale prices are ridiculous, but you can find some killer deals if you wade through their clearance messes. I make sure to eat a solid meal beforehand and bring some water. Their clearance underwear is on six different racks in two parts of the store and is only sorted by which rack was closest to the sales associate. They also have a couple of those tiered, round tables like at Victoria's Secret, but Kohl's is not sorted by size or style. It's all thrown in. Short of throwing some on the floor to make room to see, there isn't much you can do there but dig fruitlessly, but I found three pairs of nice looking underwear, originally marked at $8, $9, and $10.50.

In jewelry, I found a nice, slim silver ring and a pair of bee earrings by a company called Itsy Bitsy. Finally, someone gets my need for understated jewelry. And the bees- there's something about spring and being productive that makes me want to wear bees. My prize from the jewelry section was a Sterling silver locket that was originally marked at $80. I got it for $6.

I checked out with my 30% off coupon and took off another good sized chunk. Then, as an afterthought, asked if my other coupon would work. It was supposed to be $10 off $30 of bras, undies, lingirie, and "daywear." I didn't buy $30 of underwear, but what the hell is daywear? The clerk said she didn't know, but tried the coupon. All my underwear went to $0.00. She circled my total savings: $230. I giggled and walked out to the car with my bag of goodies. Once inside, I reviewed the receipt. Hey, wait! Where's my Kohl's cash? During certain times, you can get a $10 coupon for every $50 you spend! Then I laughed a hard, victory laugh as I realized that I didn't spend enough. I got out of there for $42.

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Some completely irrelevant information

I was walking out to my car and saw the sticker in the corner of the windshield from the outside for the first time. Lido M? What is that, I wonder? I get in the car. Oh, Mobil.

Sometimes patients tell me they've had a "stint" put in. I have to stop and think about it, because even though I know it's stent, they all pronounce it as stint, and that messes me up. I remember that a stint is temporary; a stent should probably not be. This job has taught me a lot of medical vocabulary. For example, I no longer have to look up how to spell diarrhea.

I have put in for a random day of leave. It's a day that no one else should be off, it's not one of our busy days, and I am going to sleep in, take Riley for a decent walk, and accomplish things while I feel productive, rather than having to wait until I come home from work and don't feel productive anymore. I get a productivity burst around 10 or 11, but that's normally after I need to be asleep. Stupid schedule. This way, I'll be able to have that late night burst, sleep in, then rev up again in the early afternoon. I'm really excited. I need an entire day off that's not for visitors or appointments, just meeeeeee!

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Surfing Lessons

I write it down because someday I'll see the whole story. For now, though, it's just the trees.

I am cracked open again. It comes in waves that swallow me lately, and seems to be as bad as when it started. It can't be, though- I know that. Six months have passed and I'm still cold. I can't catch my breath because the water keeps coming.

Is this because I opened it up again? Or because there are now accidental brushes that I'm supposed to be fine with? Or because I am not living up to all this potential people think I have? (Story of my report cards.)

It shouldn't take more than a year

Just hang on. Drink some tea and take a hot shower. Go to bed early and cry it all out. I know these things. Return to the basics: sleep. Eat soup. Drink tea. Brush your teeth. Go to work. Breathe.

Then you can start looking for the little things again.

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Celebrating Bring Your Daughter to Work Day a little early

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Would you like to come and sit in front of my new dog breath fan?

 My apartment complex is having all the windows and doors replaced by the airport in an effort to reduce the sound of aircraft flying overhead.  It was apparent for a little while when I moved in, but I quickly tuned it out.  Besides, the noise provided fond memories of my Air Force days.

“Jesus Christ!” I yelled to Mom from my balcony in Turkey over the roaring on the runway.  “What the hell is that?”

“It’s a C-5,” she said over the phone from halfway around the world.  Yep, that would be an air traffic controller.

So Jennyway, this door and window replacement project will be taking forever.  They’ve already come in to measure everything, but today was sound testing.  They’ll be doing this before and after the project.  I was informed that the cat could stay, but the dog could not, as they would be turning off the fridge and any loud clocks, etc.  No yappy dogs allowed.

Oh my god, by belly is so full, I think I will explode.  Arrggghhhh!

I was looking forward to having a couple hours off at the dog park, but my pseudo boss asked if I could come to work and just leave her in the car… for two hours.  Um, no.  But I can bring her in here!  When he told my boss that he’d given me permission to briefly bring my dog in, she balked.  He pointed out that it was either a temporary dog or being down one very awesome scheduler first thing in the morning and she relented.  I was instructed to hide Riley, but Riley was not aware of this.  She would not stay in her bed behind my filing cabinet, choosing instead to wander around my cubicle and attempting to explore elsewhere.  I put her in my lap, where she had no room to lie down and I tried to work over her.  Finally, I put her in my extra chair, where she would stay until I was out of sight for too long, then jump down awkwardly and come looking for me.  She made friends with several people, especially John, who had beef jerky in his desk.  I had to drag her out of his office.

Now she’s home.  We are both so high-maintenance that it’s hard to leave our routine.  I need the leash, a poop bag, treats for bribery, a towel because it’s snowing and wet outside, her dog bed, a bag to carry her dog bed, her sweater… did I forget anything?  Oh yeah, then there’s all my crap.  Plus, I would have rather stayed in bed this morning.  Oh well.  It would have been rainy, miserable, and lonely at the dog park anyway.

I didn't think hiding extended to shoes.

I'm looking for some shoes so I can run downstairs and change out my laundry. I throw on some flip flops and good grief! I've even been buying my flip flops too big! What in the hell has been going on over here?

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Then I'm halfway there.

And I'm back to eating alone.

My counselor said this was like the well-known frog in a beaker phenomenon- where the frog that's put into hot water will immediately jump out, but the one who is heated by degrees will cook to death. When I hear myself explain what I have been putting up with, I can't believe it. I don't know how to reconcile all this horrible shit with the genuine love I will always feel for both of them. And I can't complain about the good things, or even try to make them outweigh the bad, but they are there anyway. I miss those things horribly.

And it really doesn't matter what was good or bad because it's done.

I am living on two song fragments.

And I could liken you to a lot of things
But I always come around
'Cause in the end
I'm a sensible girl
I know the fiction of the fix

From the top you can see
So far into the distance
Look, it's downhill all the way from here
And getting there is quicker
Let go and you'll just slide
It shouldn't take more than a year

Then the little animal version of me jumps up here, panting and freaking out in reaction to my emotions boiling over. If only she'd react that way when my blood sugar was low, I'd have a service dog and could bring her everywhere with me.

For now I will turn on book radio, lay down with my little girl, and smell her warm popcorn feet. Wet dog and dog fart are not good smells, but warm dog is delightful. And calming.

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Waiting for class to start

Somebody likes dog class.

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Dammit

I didn't think Skechers had a t in it, but this version looked so weird. I guess when dealing with advertising, the safe side is the misspelled side.

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Will I freeze outside?

My phone is now miserably slow, which is delightful.

Mmmm, it's warm outside and I'm wearing my new Go Walk Sketchers which are nice and smooshy to walk on. They are very comfortable and my feet don't hurt. It's also nice to have motivational, commanding shoes.

"Go walk!"

"Okay."

So I'm out here in my light transitional spring jacket from the JC Penney clearance section and it just so happens to be an unable-to-ignore hot pink that is leaning towards purple. And yes, they did have other options- I CHOSE this color.

Work is not annoying me yet, perhaps because I am still refreshed from my ultra fun visit with Shannon. Pictures and blogs are coming, don't worry.

Mmmm, someone is barbecuing.  I'd prefer more weather first, but it feels like spring out here. That IS spring out here, though- we will have a succession of warm, warm days, then a crazy snowstorm. Yay, Reno weather!

My lap around the buildings is almost done- fifteen minute breaks are too short. Maybe it will still be this nice when I get home to walk Miss Riley.

Dog class tonight!

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