Murphy's Monday

Tonight, Jasmine had a bout of explosive diarrhea. I found an enormous pile on my bedroom floor, already smushed into the carpet. She must have felt it coming and tried to sit down. I found more splots across the carpet, where it leaked on her desperate run for the door. I found more on my bed, where it apparently started. ON MY PILLOW. There are dots of it all over my (thankfully) duvet cover. A+ to Mom or Tracy, whoever told me I needed one of those, because that is cleanly tumbling in the dryer now. All I could do was laugh harder each time I found another tiny poop. It hit four spots on my bed, several shots on my floor, a pair of jeans...

I cleaned and cleaned, then made an urgent car mix of stupid pop songs that Chris would have made fun of and drove the long way to Winco to buy extravagant sandwich makings for my volunteers for an impromptu lunch party tomorrow. Ken is always eyeballing my lunch, so I decided to feed him and my Tuesday bunch.

Now I have to go wash Jasmine, make my bed, and clean the couch, where she has been hiding with an embarrassed look.

Happy Monday!

Lo siento, amigos.

Tracy told me I have been remiss in my blog writing lately, and then had to define "remiss" for me.

Yeah, well, I have been pleasantly distracted lately, as you have already inferred. (There's a word I know.) I will try to recap some of the things that have gone on lately, minus all the juicy bits you were hoping for. (Sorry.)

One highly amusing and completely unimportant anecdote I have for you is about one evening when I was on my way home from a hot date and my keys felt strange. I couldn't identify the problem immediately and didn't worry about it, as it was late and I was highly distracted. When I got to my door, and saw my keys in the light, I found they were covered in chocolate. Melted, then dried, key shaped chocolate. (Well, I told you it was a hot date.) I had to suck the chocolate off before I could open the door. Welcome to my life. Mmmmm, mysterious purse chocolate.

Work has been going well- lots of happy chaos and fun people. Word is spreading that a library tech is back, and I am increasingly busy with article requests. I've been incorporating suggestions from my coworkers and volunteers and we have gotten rid of a lot of superfluous stuff (still trying to make up for not knowing what "remiss" meant), replaced furniture, got all the cardboard boxes off the floor, and generally made the place look more open. That's the response people say most, along with "more professional," and "more like a library." There's a glass wall and a hall that used to be cluttered up with furniture and posters in an attempt to deter people from using the customer service window, but now it's totally clear and people are free to pester me all day long. As an added benefit, we can now see when someone looks lost at our intersection and can go out and help them. I have gotten rid of all the red stop sign instructions and am replacing them with kinder, clearer, and less signs. We're going to be repainted from a less vomitous yellow to one of the four approved, neutral VA paint colors, and we're replacing our M O T I V A T I O N A L 90s posters with local photography. We're trying to get a functional DVD player going so we have a nice, non-confrontational way to thwart any conspiracy theory discussions that get too heated.

I'm told that my presence has been a marked difference- that the atmosphere is much more welcoming, the place is cleaner, the staff helpful and friendly, and that I am much prettier than the grumpy old guy who used to run the PERC. Or there's my favorite compliment thus far, when a coworker told me that I "run a rockin' bar." Sometimes people bring in food or candy or extra free stuff, my favorite so far being one of those rubber wristbands- not advocating PTSD awareness or the suicide hotline or anything so sensible. No, this one bore someone's unfortunate choice of PERFORMANCE MEASURES. But they were free, so they disappeared quickly.

I talked to Dad today and in the course of our conversation, got him to sign up for My HealtheVet. This is one of the main functions for the PERC these days. It's a website where vets can order prescriptions, download their VA medical records, send messages to their providers, among other features. I've been using it for years for my prescriptions, and as Dad gets set up in the VA system, it will prove to be a efficacious tool. (Eh? Eh?) I will give him a tour of the website when I go visit, once he has premium access. We are going to take him out to dinner, but he thought this was a nice Father's Day gift.

That's all for tonight, I think. I'll be back sooner this time.