Movie Blog: Prohibition

I'm only done with Part 1- I think there's four- but I couldn't help but put some of my thoughts down.  I'll keep it brief.

First of all, I found out where the terms teetotaler and bootlegger came from. Teetotaler comes from the days before Prohibition, when beer had never been a big problem, but whiskey was becoming one. Some people thought beer was still ok, but others were for total abstinence: total with a capital T. Teetotalers.

Bootlegger is a little less interesting- once alcohol was banned in certain cities, people would go around selling sips from a bottle strapped underneath their pant leg. I don't think I ever wondered where those names came from, but now I think it's neat to know, and thought I would share.

I really, really recommend this film even though I haven't seen it all yet. It is so interesting. Ken Burns really does a nice job of putting the pieces together; you can really see the good intentions and innocent assumptions, the danger of zealots, and the wisdom of moderation. There are such easy parallels to be made with marijuana- did you know that a full THIRD of federal revenue came from taxes on alcohol? Advocates for prohibition recognized that that money would need to be replaced, so guess what? Welcome to federal income tax. Oh, and the blatant misinformation that was fed to children about the dangers of alcohol: spontaneous combustion? If your platform is legitimate, you shouldn't have to make up information. Ahem, Fox.

Anyway, fantastic documentary. And after seeing just what led up to Prohibition (differences in culture, rural deeming of city life as immoral, fear of minorities), and its immediate effects, such as the massive numbers of jobs that were lost (bottlers, deliverymen, waiters, etc.), I felt as though I could start to see the breeding ground for the Great Depression. Maybe that's crazy, I don't know. Ten years doesn't seem that long to me in economic terms. I can't wait for disc 2.

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Movie Blog: Michael Collins

This has been on my list for a long time, mainly because I had no idea who he was. Liam Neeson plays Michael Collins, an Irish revolutionary who, according to the experts interviewed in the documentary about the film, both invented guerrilla warfare and brought peace to Ireland. He was born into the expectation of the region that he would be a postman, was sent to England for school, rose past postman and returned to Ireland at 26 as a financial advisor. This gave him a wonderful front, because no one suspected a successful local businessman who rode a bicycle everywhere to be part of the rebellion. He fought against the British repeatedly, was jailed and released, and ended up high in the ranks of the Irish Republican Brotherhood. He was capable of ruthless, horrible offensive tactics against the British, but was also a great orator and a hero to the people. Eventually, the president of the IRB sent him to England to negotiate a treaty- knowing full well that the Brits would never agree to complete Irish independence, and not wanting to be the bearer of bad news. Collins returned with a treaty that was approved by the Irish government by a slight majority, and he felt it was the best chance for peace and a good start towards the independence they all desired. The IRB president disagreed, a formerly united Irish army was divided, and the fighting continued. Collins was invited north to meet with the president, was ambushed in the road a few hundred feet from where the president was staying, and Collins was shot and killed. You know what's crazy about this? He was 31 years old.

But I'm supposed to be talking about the movie.

Informative. But from the documentary, I take it that Collins actually killed some people, as he's never shown doing himself in the film. Oh- and another interesting fact from the documentary is regarding the multitude of unpaid extras. They rented or bought out all the period costumes in town and showed up in droves. The producer or someone called Alan Rickman, who played the president (because he's SO good at playing the sneering bad guy) and told him that his big rousing speech the next day would be in front of thousands of unpaid people. Alan's response?

"Thank you for telling me that."

But Jennyway, back to the movie. I have to tell you the part two of my Bros before Hoes argument (What is the correct plural form of ho?). See, Liam has this best friend played by Aidan Quinn, and they are super successful at running a revolution together. Then they fall in love with the same woman, played by- dear god- Julia Roberts. It's not that I don't love her- who doesn't love Julia Roberts?- but you should hear her "Irish" accent. Oh my. Anyway, she waffles between them before choosing Liam, and Aidan pulls the wounded puppy dog act. This is why males have to support this stupid bros before hoes idea: it's not that they will respect each other's territory- not at all. It's that they have to forgive each other for it, because otherwise they will carry their grudge SO far that they will go to war over it. Liam and Aidan, of course, end up on opposite sides supposedly because of the treaty, but really because Julia Roberts chose Liam. Well, you know what I mean. But women are supposedly the ones who take irrational actions because of their emotions, hmmm, yes...

The movie was good, very long, but interesting. I could see why they cast Liam, but he is kind of a giant, and the real Michael Collins looked kind of short. I'm not sure why that matters to me, but it does. Also, I never would have realized that he was supposed to be so young. Fascinating history lesson, though. Did you know that British soldiers interrupted a soccer game and randomly shot innocent spectators? Clearly, I found the truth more interesting than the attempt to tell the story.

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This is a process

I dreamt that I was helping Chris clean and organize a room full of music equipment, tools, car parts, cords, random pieces of junk, and all the other types of unorganized things that took over our garage, storage shed, or living room and made me crazy. I was helping, and often left alone even though it was supposed to be his stuff and his project. This was also common. I was just thinking the other day about how whenever I had the opportunity, I would carry or fetch equipment, roll up cords in whatever new way he wanted, run home or to Guitar Center for something he needed; I would always help. I wonder if that was valued.

Anyway, so in the dream, he's off doing something REALLY IMPORTANT, OK? This is MY OWN BUSINESS, why don't you ever UNDERSTAND that? And I'm in there trying to sort and organize things when I can't even tell if they're music, car, or tool parts. Then I have to pee.

Up until now, it was all a little different, but easily tied to reality. Suddenly my dream goes all squirrely like dreams tend to do and for some reason it seems like a completely normal thing to go pee in the corner. There's a quart of antifreeze or something there, and I seem to think this closed bottle lying on its side is going to magically open up and corral my urine. Instead, of course, I look down and realize I'm just peeing all over everything and feel like a supreme ding-dong. I go get some paper towels, and Chris returns.

I'm standing there trying to figure out how to clean it up without him catching on, and he's just babbling away about this new studio and who's helping him do what and there must be a verbal or physical cue, but I don't know what it is, I just suddenly know and interrupt.

"Oh my god, you're cheating on me again."

Then I'm a flood of desperate, despairing words as my heart sinks to my feet and he says nothing because there's nothing to say.

This part is familiar, but what's new- what's different this time- is that I understand there is nothing to do but go. I relax my grip on the wad of paper towels and decide to leave the pee there.

I wake up sad and stunned again. I write it out and this separates for me the dream from reality and I feel better. I feel tired. I go back to sleep.

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Nights out with Jenea, Part 27

Jenea: "I'm into Scottish people and bears."

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No jury of women would convict me.

Would you believe that idiot called me crazy? 

Slow down on the crazy stuff

I’m sorry, what?  WHAT?!?!  After I accommodate your income-less winter?  No gratitude, you’re just going to call me crazy?  What is it about a man calling a woman crazy that sends her right off the crazy ledge?  Is that supposed to calm us down?  It inspires the opposite response:

CRAZY?!?! You think THIS is crazy?  You haven’t SEEN crazy- I’ll show you CRAZY.

My immediate and strongest inclination when he said that was to hunt him down and kick him in the nuts as hard as possible.  You ungrateful piece of shit… but then… duh.  This is in keeping with your character.  I have been paying some of your bills while you house and feed a tramp who moved right in after I left who is largely or often unemployed.  No, you’re right- I am crazy.  Good job, though- you are ridding me of any love or care I had left for you.  What a horrible person.  You deserve each other.  And herpes.

I have a theory, by the way, about why men call women crazy.  After he pulls some bullshit like this, and she’s stunned and thrown out with the trash, she’s rightfully furious and he acts as if any ungraceful behavior from her is completely unreasonable and she must be irrationally attached to him because he is just SO irresistible.  I would love to be graceful, forgiving, and serene about his shitty, irresponsible behavior, but what am I supposed to do with the fact that I want to murder him?

I got an email from the DMV after following up on the threatening notice I received regarding insurance coverage on the Dodge.  He sold it without turning the plates back into the DMV.  Now I have to fill out a form and find a notary.  Thanks for the extra bit of inconvenience, asshole.  How about I charge you for the lost time and the notary fee?  While we’re at it, what if I charge you an inconvenience fee for all the bullshit you continue to add to my life long after you’ve left it?

Speaking of unbelievably juvenile bullshit, I watched Ted last night.  Not the smart videos about neat topics, but the stupid movie that is a waste of time starring Mark Walberg and Seth McFarland.  I knew it was going to be stupid and I would find it obnoxious, but I like most of Mark Walberg’s movies, so I gave it a shot.  It wasn’t nearly as funny as I Heart Huckabees, but then, it’s nowhere near as smart as I Heart Huckabees.  I never used to care about Family Guy or American Dad- they could be funny, but I was ambivalent.  Once Ant came to live with us, I was horrified.  Do you realize how many really fucked up jokes he makes about women?  Over the years, Ant swore to me that he knew it was fucked up and he would not treat women that way, but I can’t help but remember the day when he was about 8 years old and I found him playing Grand Theft Auto, beating every woman he encountered to death.  We had a long conversation about that one, I assure you.

Mila Kunis plays the put upon girlfriend who has to deal with all of Ted’s crap and his influence on her immature boyfriend.  She’s perfect and beautiful and funny and patient, of course.  But like all women, apparently, she’s hungry for a ring, even though it seems like she’d much rather just have him pull his head out of his ass for his own good rather than hers.  Hilariousness (not really) ensues, and then she forces her boyfriend to choose between the two of them (another seriously overdone and imaginary cliché), they break up anyway, and something dangerous happens to Ted just as he was honorably trying to repair their relationship.  The lesson is that you should never put up with your girlfriend’s ridiculous demands because you could lose your best friend.  Stupid, perpetuating bullshit.  I could imagine Chris and Ant watching it together- Ant watching Chris in anticipation of what he should find hysterical, Chris oblivious to what Ant was absorbing.  I did laugh a few times pretty hard, but mostly the jokes were just horribly misogynistic and sad.  When everything turns out alright in the end, it’s because Mila makes a wish to have “her life” back, including Ted’s offensive, careless, and manipulative presence.  I KNEW I was going to hate this movie.  I’ve read that Mark Walberg is ashamed of The Happening, which shows me that he is not as smart as I’d hoped.  The Happening was about the spread of fear itself, which is a way more interesting concept for a scary movie than crap that just leaps out at you and alarming music.  I think the only movie by M. Night Shyamalan that has really, completely worked is Signs.  The others- which I still love- have some really neat concepts and always have something to do with spirituality and something deeper than just some stupid special effects.  Even though they don’t quite come together, they are all really interesting.  Well, The Sixth Sense worked really well.  As far as a perfect movie, though, I think Signs is one of the best ever.  It is beautiful. The Happening was still neat, though an imperfect movie.  It’s not the trees, goddammit, Mark.  It’s fear.  You’re ashamed of that, but not Ted?  Oh no, a TV squashed your dick!  Yeah, that’s some fine comedy.

Success!

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Still sad

Last night, Jenea told me that from what she sees about Chris from Facebook, he has confirmed his stupidity many times over, and I'm lucky to be rid of him. Those words alone set my imagination off and I started to feel sick. I told her that I didn't want to know anything (not that she was offering), and looked around at my nice, clean apartment that stays that way and redirected my thoughts forcibly. Jenea applauded my self-control, but it's only effort in that department- success is difficult. I decided not to be upset, just try to brush it off, so of course, I had terrible dreams.

Chris showed up to our room with four of his trampy girls, all of whom demanded that they had a RIGHT to be there and I did not. Chris was mean and callous. I found someone I knew just as someone to talk to and Chris jeered at him, like I had chosen a loser. Then a fox came out to hunt, drawn out among people by hunger, I suppose, and the cats surrounded him, and tore him to pieces.

My thought is that Chris is this sneaking, stealing fox, and the felines give him just what he deserves, but I still can't watch and I plug my ears so I can't hear the screaming.

Every time I hear something that I don't want to, whether I hear details or not, it hurts so terribly and even if I turn away, I process it anyway. I have this combination of ideas about pain, mashups of things I've read or been told. I think about Rumi: The cure for the pain is the pain. An article about the importance of sharing sad experiences as a way of having a deeper understanding between people- a willingness to feel pain. There was a Facebook post about being strong enough to love again.

I keep hearing from everyone how important it is to do things to avoid what causes me pain. I think it's largely unavoidable for logistical reasons- as I have piled his debts on top of me- as well as emotional ones, and I know I will be far better off by dealing with these hurts now. I know he is not, and this makes me roll my eyes with bitterness at the idea that he is so determined to remain a victim of his own behavior.

I was not the negative one- something I see more clearly now. And I was healthier- even with diabetes!

I was angry a lot, something I thought was just inherent to me, but now I know how much the situation had to do with it. And I think I hung on for as long as possible not just because of my love for Chris, but for Ant. I am so FURIOUS with Chris for what he has just ripped away from his son with no idea how deeply this will affect Ant. He says he knows, but clearly he does not. I'm not sure he's ever acted with Ant's best interests in mind, and what a horrible accusation is that? Perhaps he can't because he doesn't know how. Way to boot your only help, dipshit. What else can I do but wash my hands and wave goodbye? I can cry.

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