Simply incandescent!

Well, that was not very good.

This was the first show after Barbara Land left, and I imagine there is some unsteadiness going on in the dance department.  The one I went to in the spring was enjoyable.  For this one, I'm glad I didn't take anyone with me.  If Tracy or Mom went, we would have been rolling our eyes at each other.  Now, I realize that UNR is probably not known for its dance program, and you will probably point out that this is another reason to go spend some time in a place where I'll be able to go see some (much) better performances.  Duly noted.  It didn't all suck, and I'm not sorry I went.  A lot of that was just normal college performance bullshit, like people hooting out the names of the people they came to see, and cheering because they thought everything was just excellent, but I am a snobby dance critic now and I wasn't there for anyone but me.

There were interesting things I found out that I have apparently taken for granted over the years.  For example, the need for providing enough house lights between performances so people can consult their programs without needing the blinding blue light from their cell phones.  Some people used them during the performances.  Lovely.  Then there's the guy next to me who ate two packages of Twix and left the wrappers on the floor because he's used to his mommy picking up after him.  Asshole.  People started the applause before the dances were over and all that nonsense, but the kid who clapped when the dancers did something impressive and neat was promptly shushed.

No, the audience did not help, nor did the music.  There was a dubstep contemporary piece in there, which was actually one of the better ones.  Cari Cunningham was a guest teacher in my Dance Criticism class, and she is now part of the dance department, so I was expecting to see my fourth or fifth piece by her.  She was not in the program, but the first dance was so clearly her choreography that someone either stole her whole shtick, or she's changed her name.  There was also a performance by the new hip hop class which is not going to win any competitions anytime soon.  I feel like Niles and/or Frasier over here, poo-pooing the whole thing, so I'll tell you what I did like.

A piece narrated by Carl Sagan started the second half, which started to be interesting.  It should have been done by one dancer instead of twelve, but they've got to fit a lot of dancers in somewhere.  The next one was probably the most intriguing, with interesting costumes, music, and holy shit, some innovative dancing!  It had some ruts, but it was completely workable and finally caught my attention.  Also in the second half was a solo performance by the new dance teacher.  I had panned her first piece, but this one made me reconsider.  She had everyone caught.  Nice job.  The last one was a horrible piece of tribal caca with my least favorite dance move ever: everyone runs around the stage in a big circle.  Ooo.  Didn't see that coming.

And while I'm back to negativity, let me tell you about the weirdest thing ever.  One dance started with all the girls in costumes that were essentially a bra and underwear.  Across the back of the stage were two clotheslines with dresses that came straight from the prairie.  Halfway through the dance, they all go get their dresses and put them on.  I was horrified.  For one, I'm sure these were legitimate costumes according to somebody, but no, not really.  It was underwear.  Can you imagine?  Not like a bodysuit kind of costume where you're supposed to see a dancer's form, blah blah blah, but underwear.  It was uncomfortable, and not in an artsy fartsy kind of way.  If that's not bad enough, they have dyed the one black girl's underwear brown.  You're not trying to match skin tone on anybody else, you're trying to go for underwear!  What the fuck!  And how about some bloomers, you perverts!  That would go better with the whole Oklahoma/Appalachian Spring vibe you're trying to pull off!  Jesus.

As with all my dance review disclaimers, if anyone other than Mom or Tracy is still reading this, I apologize.  They like reading my dance reviews, and are probably having a lot of fun imagining the show.  Hopefully you are too.  It's on again tomorrow night.  Don't go see it.

Please turn off your cell phones

Well, I don't have any trouble making it to dance shows, Tracy, find comfort in that.

They have helpfully noted the dates of the spring dance shows on the back of the program, so they are already in my calendar.

This is my favorite kind of dance show: varied. Even if you hate one, it will be over soon and then they'll do something different.

One minute to go!

Just the hum of the refrigerator

It's not late yet, but it feels that way.  I'm already yawning- it will be an early night for me- and I am contemplating a warm bath.  I have been feeling very torn over whether to go or stay, what to do with my beloved stuff, weighing my love for my small city and beautiful apartment against being back in my circle and making some serious strides forward in my debt...

It's hard to figure this out.  It's hard to decide, and I have already committed and reconsidered many times.  Tonight I was walking out the door to go to Zumba when my cousin called, and it was one of those conversations that makes you glad you didn't just make plans to call back.  In a nutshell, she laid it out for me- sliced right through my but this and but thats.  Entirely logical, with just the right amount of spiritual insight and encouragement.  I took Riley and charged around the block to make up for at least some of my lack of exercise.

Now I'm spending some quiet time before I go do some Spanish lessons on Duolingo.  It's free, you know.

The animals are napping nearby, and I feel calm and happy.  For now.  Check with me tomorrow.

High blood sugar is just so hiLARious.

I tried searching for a blood sugar app on my phone.  The first thing the search yielded was The Red Hot Chili Peppers' Blood Sugar Sex Magik album.  Huh.  Never put that together before.

The next thing I found was a Blood Sugar Monitor Prank app.  "Blood Sugar Monitor Prank is designed to fool your acquaintances and friends to think they have high blood sugar!  Play with Blood Sugar Monitor Prank and have fun many times at the expense of your friends.  Press and hold for two seconds to get measurement.  When finger is not moved on screen a message with high blood sugar is displayed and ambulance siren sound is played.  Don't tell your friends this: you only get normal blood sugar if you move your finger a little bit when holding finger on screen."

Content Rating: Low maturity


Hahahahahaha.  Let's pretend for a moment that you're playing this prank on someone who doesn't realize that you can't test your blood sugar on your phone.  Hahahahaha...  If they don't know that, how are they going to be properly horrified by your fake reading?


This search for a blood sugar tracker app was prompted by what must be the fifth person to ask me if I have lost weight.  This most recent person is a nurse here at work, and when I told her I had no idea if I've lost weight because I don't have a scale, she laughed her conversationally polite yet slightly disapproving laugh and invited me to join the Home Telehealth program.  They send you things like a scale and a blood pressure cuff for free, and you plug in your numbers daily into a machine.  When your numbers are out of line, the nurse in charge of your case gets a flag and they call you.

"I see you put in that your blood pressure was 291/12, and I was just calling to check and make sure you're still alive."
"Hmm, it looks as though you've lost 100 pounds in 2 days, are you feeling ok?"

Whether it's clearly a typo or not, the nurse has to call.  I don't want to do it because 1) I work with these people and 2) it will drive me up a wall if I hear from them every time my blood sugar is even slightly outside the acceptable range.  There's also a question about your mood.  Can you imagine having to field suicide questions any time you answer that you're feeling a little down?

It's a great program for a lot of people, and it's meant as a preventive measure: to keep daily track of a patient's blood pressure, blood sugar, etc., and it gives their doctor a LOT more information, plus there's more accountability than just asking the patient to keep track.  If they go more than a couple days without entering information, the nurse calls.  And calls.  And calls.

For me... I'm not sure I need a free scale that bad.  I pay the gym every month and I'm sure there's a scale there somewhere.  But she reminded me that weight loss in a diabetic can be a terrible thing and asked about my blood sugar, acknowledging that it was none of her business.  I said everything was fine, but she got me wondering because you know how oblivious I can be.  I checked my meter- my averages are good, but maybe I need to start a log again and keep an eye on any problems.

I just went back to talk to that nurse because now she's got me freaked out that I'm doing the same thing as 12 years ago when my blood sugar was out of control, I lost all that weight, my body was eating itself, and Dana asked me how she could get diabetes.  The nurse asked me about my averages and exercise- she thinks I have boosted my metabolism.  Then I remembered the Metformin, which is supposed to increase insulin sensitivity and has a side effect of weight loss and she tried to help me understand how increasing insulin sensitivity will help the whole picture.  I'm still a little confused about how insulin sensitivity affects weight loss, but I'm willing to accept that.  Plus, the endocrinologist said that it takes a year for Depo Provera to get completely out of your system.  Depo Provera is a form of birth control that works by making you lose hair and gain a bunch of weight, making you completely unattractive to your mate.  I think maybe the combination of Depo leaving my system and Metformin coming in is contributing and yes, I will start making Zumba a habit again, since that was helping.  As an added benefit, I have Pantene hair now.  I'll be in their commercials soon, making tons of money and paying off my student loans.

No cerveza for you.

Just a mild amount of beer, and I'm over here chattering back at Duolingo.

Hablas espanol?  Do you speak Spanish?

Hablo espanol.  I speak Spanish.

Tu no bebes.  You do not drink.

Yo bebo.  I drink.