Overdue

***

Important Too Long Neglected Thank You Card:

Dear Tracy,

Ant, Chris, and I went to Petco last week with your gift card.  We got a new toy for each girl.  Jasmine got a new frisbee since the last one got lost a long time ago.  It is both tough and flexible, which is important because she's a Pit Bull.  Riley got a little stuffed squirrel with a bushy tail.  Ant picked that out carefully, testing all the squeakers and rejecting the ones she would quickly rip apart.  For Solo, we got a new fishing pole.  It has replaceable feathers at the end that can twirl on the attachment, so it really gets her attention.  Ant and I saw that thing on a show you should see at least once: My Cat From Hell on Animal Planet.  This guy is like The Cat Whisperer, only tattooed and much more emotional than Cesar.  All three of us weighed in on all three toys, and when we got in the car, Ant noticed that there was a small opening in the cat toy bag.  "Oh, this is open," he said, and took the cat toy out and started playing with it.  At home, Jasmine folded up the frisbee and carried it around, waiting to see who would take her to the park.  Riley attacked the squirrel and took under the coffee table to kill it slowly.  Ant flung the cat toy around for a half hour until I realized the cat was still in the linen closet and he was playing by himself.  Once she found out about it, she wouldn't leave it alone.  It's sad when we find her playing with it alone, so we play with her a lot more now.

Thanks for thinking of our animals- they would cover you in slobber and cat hair if they knew.

***

Ending on a High Note

I'll tell you about the rest of my day tomorrow, but I wanted to run in here and tell you a couple things now.

I brought Ant with me to meet Jody at the park to exercise the dogs.  Ant was excited to see Kaiden- he loves kids of any age- and wanted to push the stroller until the bumps got annoying.  Hidden Valley is one of our favorite places to go to walk the dogs because we can let them run and there usually aren't too many other dogs to worry about.  Jasmine can be quite obnoxious with other dogs and sometimes it goes too far.  I have been the main provider for the dogs forever- even back when Ant was the pottier.  He'll tell you that he did all the dog walking and that he was totally responsible for the dogs, but his memory is a little biased.  A long time ago, Chris and I broke up the chores and said that Ant would do dog potty walks, I would do long walks, and he would be responsible for their exercise.  This means he would take them out for runs with the bike or run Jasmine at the dog park.  I usually ended up doing the long walks to the dog park and exercising them myself.

The reason I am getting so defensive is because both Ant and Chris think they are dog whisperers.  If I tell Chris that something bad happened with Jasmine, he'll tell me it was the other dog's fault.  It's amazing how he can tell without even being there.  I was at Hidden Valley with Jody one day when some friendly dog came up to say hi and Jasmine ripped a chunk of hair out of him.  The fur actually flew, and that was the last time I left her loose around other dogs.  I wish more than anything that I could let her run free and socialize with all the other loose, happy dogs there.  She's dominant, and an asshole to other dogs.  I know this because it happens over and over again.  So today at the park, when I put the leash back on to keep her away from other dogs and Ant starts telling me what I need to do with her, I'm ready to tell him to take a hike.  Somewhere else, I mean.  I have been practicing being calm with him and not taking the bait, but this was much harder because I was already frustrated.  I can't tell you, Ant, how much I WISH it was that easy.  But I've tried it.  You believe she is an angel princess, and most of the time she is.  But sometimes she is a flaming asshole.

Today was no exception.  It was pretty nice out, and I had to put her on the leash several times and walk her away from many dogs.  I kept her from chomping on them, but she bit a dog anyway.  She bit Jody's dog Snoopy, the alpha of the group.  These four were best friends at the old apartment- they would play together every night.  With the exception of Riley, they all grew up together.  Snoopy has always been the leader.  Today they got in one of their arguments and Snoopy lost.  When Ant was busy telling me I was wrong to restrain Jasmine, Jody told him to look at Snoopy's bleeding nose.  Ant wouldn't acknowledge it.  Later, when we picked Chris up and I told him about the bite, he said, "Jasmine finally shut her up, huh?"  Even if Snoopy picked on Jasmine, which I haven't seen, why would that be an appropriate response?  Sigh.  Maybe I should call Cesar.

But Jennyway, it can be very stressful to go on those walks- or as I like to call them: potential lawsuits.  It is not usually fun to have the mini critic along, either.  We had to run to the science fair and Chris would have to go back to work afterwards, so I was really not looking forward to spending the evening with the child.  Last night was not fun, but I knew we had to get through homework so I put on my happy smiley face and started washing dishes while he did math.  He asked for help and we talked about ratios.  When he was done, I told him we were going to go through math, English, and science, so he needed to be prepared to get through all three with a pleasant attitude.

"I don't know why you had to say that," he said.

Yes, well, moving right along.  We scratch papered through math and I got to review simile, metaphor, and hyperbole.  At last, terms I am familiar with.  After that, we went through the next set of questions on the science study guide and- GASP!  He found a mistake.  After he finished that section, I had him read back through what we did yesterday.  He knew all about fossils and paleontologists and almost remembered what uniformitarianism was.  Uh-huh.  That's right.  I asked him what we would be doing tomorrow.

"These four questions."

"What else?"

"Studying."

Ah ha ha.  Go read your book.

"Can I take a break first?"

Of course.

He went over to the drum set and started banging on the cymbals.

"Jenny, look!  It sounds like a bong!"

"GONG.  It sounds like a GONG."

"Oh."

Oh, indeed.

Reprogramming

thankless job
thankless job
thankless job


he's not supposed to appreciate this yet... if ever...


deep breaths...

Why yes, I am crampy and bloated and exhausted and still remembered to pick up dog food and essentials. Yes, I put groceries away, fed the dogs, washed the dishes and made dinner while reviewing Ant's homework calendar.

Science homework all week is the study guide.  Guess how many days he's studied?  I don't yell at him for not doing his homework, I just ask him to tell me what a fossil is.  He struggles.  I tell him to look it up.  We get into a discussion about dinosaur bones and Jurassic Park's insects in amber.  I show him about Pompeii and we look at pictures and videos of the volcano in Iceland that nobody can pronounce.  (Eyjafjallajokull, really?)  Then I ask him to read me the first question on the study guide.  He waffles on the answer, and has no idea what the vocabulary word even means.  I have him look it up: uniformitarianism.  We go through four questions- a fourth of the study guide.  He pitches a fit because all his original answers were right.  I said that was very good, but the point was to study, not rush through.  He did not agree, and started arguing with me.

Well, that's not true.  He started arguing with me the minute we dropped Chris off at work.  He was in his usual argumentative mood, and cheerfully battled every single thing I said.  It was nonstop through the grocery store and I finally had to nip it when he tried getting personal.  That calmed him down and he behaved much better until science time.

He tried getting really surly with me again, but I did not take the bait.  I reminded him that I did not yell at him for not doing his homework, he got to pick out some ice cream at the store, we had a movie he wanted to see, and he was acting poorly because I was asking him to do what was assigned.  "You need to go take a minute and think about this," I said.

He went into his room and closed the door.  I wondered if he was going to come back at all, but I did not interfere, just went back into the kitchen and waited.  After maybe ten minutes, Ant came back into the kitchen.

"Well, that helped," he said.

He said he played the keyboard for a while and that helped calm him down.  I think that will be a good lesson in taking a time out when you get upset.  I did not get an apology, but he did listen to me.  I explained "study" does not mean "no homework."  I reminded him that he has an opportunity to do his work on his terms, but if he doesn't do it, he's going to do it on our terms.  Then I asked him what a fossil was, and he told me.  Ah-ha.  Then we watched a movie.


Later that night:

"Chris, where is the popcorn?  I can't find it anywhere!"

He looks at me with a no-duh look.  "It's in the freezer!"

I have the no-duh response.  "OH!"  I laugh.


Earlier that day:

"Chris, take a look at this book."

"What am I looking at?"

"Just open it anywhere.  It's full of hints and info."

"Hmmm."


"So, what did you learn?"

"If you store popcorn in the freezer, all the kernels will pop.  And you don't need to defrost it first."

And it worked.