Bzzzzz

I'm feeling a bit judgmental this evening, so don't get too close.  I wondered if I'd rather do something productive like make my lunch for tomorrow or something seemingly unproductive like record my horrid thoughts here.  I'm sure I'll get to some lovelier conclusion here.

Trader Joe's had daffodils cheaper than Smith's, so I bought two bunches.  I can smell them.  They smell like flowers.  If they have a distinguishing smell I would have no idea.  I like daffodils because they're yellow, they look weird, and they remind me of a doll I had.  All I can remember is Rose Petal Place, but Tracy had the Rose doll, I think.  I had the yellow one with the daffodil hat.  I would wear a hat like that.  She had a yellow dress that was also supposed to resemble a daffodil and she was supposed to smell like a daffodil, but there again- no idea.  What I liked most about her was her little yellow flats.  They didn't come off, but I admired them anyway.  Who sells yellow shoes?  Maybe I need some yellow shoes.

I had a whole lot of no calls today.  I helped my boss create a memo that clarified a very fuzzy directive with lots of ands, ifs, nots, and buts.  I felt so valued, important, and helpful.  That was a nice way to start the morning.  Then she asked me to do a very monotonous task, but one that needed thorough attention to detail, and she trusted that I would do just that.  Today went by so fast.

But language problems... people randomly capitalizing words to emphasize their importance, I suppose.  It feels like we're back in Ben Franklin days and people will start talking about Purity and Self-Reliance.  If you want to emphasize something, that's what bold and underline are for.  Not quotation marks, unless you're being sarcastic.

But what the hell am I talking about, anyway?  Oh, so apparently a threat was made by somebody important one time years ago, and everyone that worked there at the time took this person's words literally (another good way of showing emphasis) instead of understanding his meaning.  No, I was not there at the time, but the meaning is pretty apparent.  I was both astounded and baffled as I was told that I need to come up with a new way to say exactly the same thing, because they think he has forbidden the use of two words.  He hasn't forbidden the words- he has forbidden the carelessness that was behind them, but if I explain any more, I'll have to go further into it than necessary, so let's just say that today I was reminded about the importance of language.  And that one should not make extreme threats at all, but especially ones that have not been carefully thought out, lest someone SERIOUSLY misinterprets them.

But then in another upturn, my coworker said she would join my gym so we could go to classes together.  How awesome is that?  I'm going to be a busy bee.  Maybe that's why I bought my little bee earrings.  I wanted bees, did I tell you about that strange urge?  Then some little girl asked me if they were cooties or something, I don't really remember what she thought they were, and her brother corrected her and said they were bees.  (They were petting Riley.)

"Why bees?" she asked.

"Because it's spring," he answered.  "Right?"

You got it, kiddo.

And it's Wednesday.

The weather has been suddenly cold and snowy, so I am not walking at work.  I am trying to get up often instead and at least walk up and down the stairs.  There are many things I want to do at home and I think about them while I am at work.  When I am at home, I get distracted by my puzzle.  Hey- I just spent 8 hours tied to a chair, why don’t I sit in a chair for a couple hours?  I can’t help it- especially when I have a really good puzzle going that has steady progress like this New York City map puzzle.  I cannot stay away.  But tonight is Zumba.  I need to come home and walk Riley and let Mini chase the cat lure because I am going to have to turn around and leave them again.  Then come back home, vacuum, do laundry, prepare for tomorrow… sigh.  I hate being gone so much.  I know I am lucky to have a good job.  I have enough to pay my bills and even some that don’t belong to me.  I hold out hope that he will truly stand on his own- as he said he wanted to do- and not rely on his ex-girlfriend’s help.  That crap has not been easy or helpful, but I have managed it anyway.  Go me.  (But please, goddammit, pay for your frigging board.)

Yesterday evening, Riley came and sat by my chair, asking to go out again.  It seemed urgent… and it was.  Ears were up, eyes were desperate.  Outside, she immediately found a spot to poop and this boy came running over.  Well, at least he asked first.

“Can I pet your dog?” as he was launching towards her.  She’s hunched there, trying hard to poop, making awful noises, and he wants to come pet her.  Not right now, sorry.  She’s not feeling well.

“Oh, she’s cold,” he said.

(What?)

Then he popped his head up with a horrified expression.

“It smells like poop over here!”

“That’s because there’s poop over here,” I explained.

And yes, this kid has a dog.

But Jennyway, every time Mini navigates her way to the food bowl using the cat shelves, I get so unbelievably happy I just can’t stand it.  I’m going to get her a harness tomorrow and try to walk her outside.  I swear (after swearing for six months) that I’m going to do this.

Things are good.  I’m doing okay.  There are good changes happening and more on the horizon.  And Tracy’s coming to visit.  :D

Quiet days

Been feeling pretty quiet.

The sad news about my coworker is a weird thing to work around.  It feels like a cliché to say that things are kind of getting back to normal and at the same time, not.  There are these things to consider now: how to deal with, change, and acknowledge the hole.  How to convey our care to her family; what are the appropriate assumptions to make.

It’s a weird place to be in, to have everything be fine and normal until you suddenly remember that everything is not fine and normal.

I don’t know what has happened to me in the past many years, but I don’t think I used to be this tied into emotions.  That was my biggest strength in the Strengths Finder test: Empathy.  Next was Relator (which I read every time as Realtor, not at all the same thing, catch up, baby tomato.)

Anyway, I’ve just been working on puzzles, running errands, walking Riley… and being here.  I’m glad there are some things to look forward to.  There’s a play at UNR I might go see, and I think I will get my haircut trimmed back into shape.  Zumba is tomorrow, and come hell or high water, I must go.  My legs still hurt some from the Saturday Body Destroyer class, or whatever that was called.  The rest of my body has recovered.  Zumba will feel like a cake walk.  Yeah, right.  Ask me about that later.

My current challenge is to do my homework done for the apprentice class and to get Riley to eat green beans.  I hope that bacon encourages both endeavors.  And don’t you dare say nobody needs bacon.  You know that’s not true.

Ah, and it snowed yesterday and today.  Friday is supposed to be 70.  Spring in Reno, yay!

Guess I'll do chores, then.

Apparently we are not walking today.

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If I can get out of bed

A special thank you to Solo for waking me up this morning. I feed her around 7 on weekdays, so she feels the same should apply every day. But this is the weekend, Mini!

I did not go to any classes at the gym during this past work week, so I decided I must go this weekend. I have been not really trying to get to the Body Pump (light weights, lots of repetition) class on Saturday mornings, but it's all I had left this week. I set my alarm and had my yoga pants on before I could invent any reasons to stay home. I went- go Jenny.

But as I approached the classroom and saw the schedule board... oh damn. There's that schedule change they were talking about. Body Pump is now at 10. Body COMBAT is at 9. Oh well, I'm here.

Body Combat sounds like boot camp, doesn't it? An intense, comprehensive workout that will kick your ass. It is, but it's also about kicking someone else's ass. You know those silly aerobic moves where you lift up your knee and simultaneously bring your arms down on either side? We did those, but while imagining that we're bringing someone's head down on our knee and cracking their skull open. "That's where the abs come from," she explained. We punched a lot, and had to keep our hands up by our cheekbones like a boxer. We swung elbows as the instructor cried, "Hit him in the eyebrow! Hit him in the chin!" We kicked to the front and the back and she yelled at us. "I'M SEEING ROCKETTES! YOU ARE NOT ROCKETTES! GET HIM AWAY FROM YOU!" We did a lot of jumping and even pinned an imaginary culprit to the ground and punched the living shit out of him.

Zumba is going to be cake after this. I normally don't feel the results from Zumba until two days later, but I felt this immediately. Everything hurts today. I will move like a turtle tomorrow.

If that wasn't enough, I walked the hill with Jody and hiked the mall in search of 16 inch silver chains for my favorite pendants. And walked Riley two other times as well. I slept through the second half of Monty Python's The Meaning of Life. And now I imagine I should go feed the cat and start my laundry before anyone else decides that Sunday is laundry day.

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