I'm listening to Ellen DeGeneres on the Sirius radio comedy channel and she's talking about watching people at the grocery store. She said she likes to wonder what people came in for and what they just picked up because they were there. The example she gave had me and her audience rolling for a good thirty seconds and will keep me laughing all night and probably through most of tomorrow:
"Baked beans, douche, and a lawn chair."
Artist: Jenny
Title: Dog, Cat, and Woman Rest with Heating Pad
Medium: Camera Phone
Somewhere under my bed is the ring from the milk jug, which Solo pulled out of the recycle bin to play with. The ultimate cat toy.
The other pet related item is about the ottoman. Mom got me an ottoman for the living room and I've been carrying it back and forth to the bedroom because Riley is old and sometimes can't jump up on the bed. Most of the time yes, sometimes no. She often ignores the ottoman when I bring it in, jumping directly on the bed with ease. Other times she looks grateful.
I finally found a cheap, basic storage ottoman and was able to buy it with a gift card. I moved Riley's bed a little ways away from the bed and put the ottoman between them. I showed her where to go and she used the new step and climbed up on the bed, where she stayed for a while, curled up with me and Solo. At some point, as usual, she decided to head to her own bed. She used her stair. :D
Chris came over tonight to install the Sirius radio in my car. We talked about us and what happened and we talked about everything else and I feel more sure now that it's done than I have so far. I'm sure you're all relieved, but I'm just asking you for some time to let me grieve my love and the life we had together. He knows what he lost and I'm glad to see him acknowledge it. We agreed to tell each other our feelings through this and to be kind. Against almost everyone's advice, I have honored our agreement and I'm glad I did. It's hard, but it's more honest and fair than we were to each other when we were together. It hurts like mad, but I feel calm for now. Who knows what I'll feel like tomorrow, but tonight I feel quiet. It feels like I said goodbye.
Oh my god, I love my little girl. She got a bath tonight because she got poop caught in her fur. I learned that there is no good place in this apartment to give her a bath. That part sucked, but now she is happy and sleepy and so am I.
So here we sit, hanging out under the trees. It's not warm enough to seek shade, but this is the spot she chose.
Jenny: ...then I watched Serpico-
Jenea: What's that?
Jenny: A famous Al Pacino cop movie from the 70s.
Jenea: Oh, I don't watch movies older than the 80s; they look weird.
And later:
"Are those people gay? Anyway..." (carries on conversation)
She was telling people we were Jenny A and Jenny 1 and reminded me that this is what our stepsons collectively dubbed us. Not Jenny A and Jenny B, Jenny 1 and Jenny 2, but while looking for a way to know which Jenny they were referring to, decided we would be known as Jenny A and Jenny 1. I forgot about that.
There was a guy there- a friend of the people we were hanging out with- and Jenea told me he was eyeballing her. He came to say goodbye to her, then turned to me.
"Did anyone ever tell you that you look just like the girl from The Big Bang-"
"STOP!" commanded Jenea. "Shut up, don't say it! That is not true and it's not a compliment!" Then the three of us girls had a discussion about where the resemblance could be.
Sarah said, "People used to tell me I looked like Jennifer Love Hewitt, which I clearly do not, but we had the same haircut. I think it's the hair and maybe the shape of your face."
"And the glasses," I added.
Jenea goes, "Who do I look like with my fluffy hair?"
"You have Nicole Kidman hair," said Sarah.
"I have a giant forehead and the rest of my face is smushed down," said Jenea. "I look like a chihuahua."
I cracked up and the guy- who had been just standing there through all that- said he would leave before he got in any more trouble. Jenea rolled her eyes, turned back to us and said:
"He gave me that look as soon as he came in. I can't describe it, but I know it when I see it. I was like, oh shit, he wants to put it in my butt."
I was pretty exhausted after trying some yoga that morning, going on two long dog walks, 45 errands, then making gingerbread dough and dinner, but she made me laugh so hard that I had to write this stuff down, and I drove home in a significantly better mood.
