Winged turds don't strike me as helpful or necessary.

I got in and out of the DMV in 22 minutes today. I suspected the same thing applied as at the laundromat on Saturday afternoons: nobody's there. The DMV lady said Saturday afternoons are always boring because everyone thinks they close at noon.

I wondered on the way over there if I had brought everything I needed. As I approached the info line, I saw a big sign about car registration and proof of insurance on the vehicle. Oh. I pulled my insurance card out and- yes! It had the Toyota on it! I had already added the car, received the card, and put it in my wallet. But then, at the desk when I pulled out the paperwork, I found that I had already printed out the proof of insurance and neatly folded it in among the DRS and smog forms. I am way ahead of myself.

So I got to hit the post office and sit outside with Riley, put some things away and feel super productive like the organized badass that I am.

Then it was time to go to the laundromat. I was at the light by my apartment when a cop pulled up next to me.

The sun had JUST set, so it was nowhere near dark, but he shined his spotlight in my face to get my attention. I looked over and he motioned for me to roll down my window. I did, and he said that my right brake light was out. My exact words:

"Wow, really? I just got this car!"

I have no idea how that reads, but it apparently sounded argumentative to him.

"Is that good enough, or do I need to write you a ticket?"

Whoa, dude. I said I would take care of it and he gave me the most insincere smile I have ever seen and drove off. Nice people skills- that will come in handy when you need to diffuse and not escalate situations. Not to mention that he looked about 20, which probably only means that I'm old. Young whippersnapper.

But REALLY. I reacted with surprise alone- I am not stupid enough to argue with a cop. Maybe he's used to being argued with, but let point out his age again- he has NOT been doing this for long. This is one of those assholes who became a cop for the power trip. You didn't find drugs on me after I ran a stop sign or anything retarded like that- my flippin BRAKE LIGHT was out. How am I supposed to know that? You, sir, are a winged turd. Read that as wing-ed.

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Let's reserve the Hulk for carrying laundry up the stairs.

Somebody lied to me- it's not nearly cold enough out here for aa coat.

I have bills and other crap to take care of, but I had to get away from the computer for a while or I was going to yank it out of the wall, Hulk style, and throw it through a window. I feel the frustration of my coworker, who is driven batty by other coworkers who meander through their day, answering calls only when forced to. It's not that hard to figure out when you're juggling as much as you can, the queue stays just as full, and people are drifting by your cubicle or trying to stop in to visit. Do you see the green light on my phone? That means I'm on the phone! Gaarrrrrggghhhhhhhhh.

But I just got that out of my system as well as some carbon dioxide. Now I am going to point out to myself that it is downhill now on a Friday afternoon, and while I have to visit the laundromat and the DMV tomorrow, there are no plans for tonight or Sunday. None! Just housework or projects or sitting outside with Riley. I may bake some bread... if I want to!

Deep breaths... you will need some patience left over for the DMV.

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Too late for a title

So today I'm at work and I'm coming out of a coworker's cubicle where I was taking a dog break. We have two adorable service dogs in our office and they are so good at relieving anxiety and stress. We did have a meeting to go over the very strict rules, which everyone followed for about a day. I have no idea what sort of repercussions there may be from us petting the dogs and making happy squealing noises at them, but don't worry- I've decided it's fine.

So I've visited one of these lovely dogs and now I'm headed back to my cubicle and I see George in there, trying to sneak up on me again. George does this often- he's blind and loves to sneak up on the visually unimpaired, especially because most of us face the corner. I am George's cubicle neighbor, so he is my personal grief counselor and I help him when his computer dies or when he knocks his tea over. We are good buddies, George and I, and he delights in sneaking up on me.

Another coworker, Jeff, happens to be walking down the hall and I wave him over and start tiptoeing towards my cubicle. Jeff is lost until he sees George in there, quietly waving around. I grab George and he jumps and we all start laughing so hard that anyone on the phone must have been supremely annoyed.

Today's highlight: sneaking up on a blind guy.

I started an art project tonight and listened to Babyface. I have tons of CDs that I bought for one song, so now seems like a good time to listen to the rest of their contents... many, many years later. One song on this greatest hits collection features Mariah Carey and Kenny G- the Nineties in a nutshell. My favorite still stands as When Can I See You, so I listened to it 16 times and started a list of terribly sad breakup songs to howl along with in the car.

That song will still be the main reason I reach for that CD, but I did find this one gem that is blatant pornography for women where he's singing something like, "Ooh baby, when I get home from work, I'm gonna make you dinner..."

Wait, there's more- he's also going to take her shopping and buy her some clothes. Now the celebrity I most want to meet is Babyface, so I can find out what he's really like.  He's got the formula down- all his songs are talking about what a baaaaaad boy he's been and that he made such a big mistake, he lost his very air to breathe and he will dedicate his life to make it all better. This may be even less realistic than romance novels, but I bet Mr. Kenneth Edmonds never had a dry spell. This is a smart man.

This is for the heartbroken fool in you...

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You know it's my first inclination to apologize for my lack of artistic abilities, to tell you it was cuter in the drawing, or whatever, but a Coors Light pointed out that I had a whole lot of nobody to carve pumpkins with and I did it anyway because that is simply not a tradition I can part with. This may not be the only time I ever do this alone, but it wasn't bad. I crooned to Sade- surely no one would have put up with that.

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Just figured out that The Tree of Paradise was upside down. Only because of the print on the bottom, though. Not sure I see much difference.

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Tree of Nonsense

Trying to finish this damn puzzle so I can clear the table and carve my pumpkin! Watching Frasier, checking CNN, hoping all my East Coasters are safe and dry...

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A brief ride in the Waahmbulance

Woke up in my warm bed, had to get up and be cold.
Got confused, hurt looks as I shortchanged my dog on her walk this morning.
Person I'm training breathing all over me, needs a mint.
Packed my lunch trying to be healthy, forgot the totally healthy (shut up) dark chocolate.
Packed orange slices, orange slices are old and dried out. Gross.
Too hungry for sandwich alone, went to get some Doritos.
Vending flap crushed my Doritos.
Still cold, should probably switch to hot tea instead of Diet Coke.
Lunch already almost over.
Watching Sandy coverage, no exciting weather over here.
Finished lunch, still have no chocolate.
Need chocolate.
Ready to speed to 7-11, try to resist stupid temptation.
Compose list of things to look forward to today:

     hour+ Riley walk in the not rain
     carve pumpkin
     put candle in pumpkin, admire, take pictures, post to Facebook
     check Facebook for admiration
     dinner
     start art project
     finish puzzle
     sit in clean, neat apartment, admire housekeeping and interior design skills
     put together most of next day's lunch, feel like a badass for being so prepared
     hot shower, warm pajamas
     reading amid sleeping animals
    

Just look at this nonsense.

It doesn't seem that difficult so far, but its madness rating is off the charts.

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The Tree of Paradise

A tree of something, I don't know if I would call that paradise...

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Dad visit last photo

Out on our walk, we got to see a little bit of Mountain Goat Riley. We don't see too much of her these days, so I'm glad I got such a great picture.

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Dad visit I see the order's all messed up anyway

Sunday was pretty quiet, just a visit to Rad Shack, a Riley walk, and lunch. Of course, Dad couldn't get up for a while. Riley doesn't usually curl up with anybody like this.

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Dad visit what number are we on?

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Cat

There's always time to curl up with the Mimi Mow.

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Dad visit 2

On Saturday morning, we ran all over Reno looking through thrift stores, then we did a trip through Walmart. Then Dad was wrecked and wanted a nap, so Riley and I went outside and laid in the grass for a while.

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Dad visit 3

Then we went to do laundry. My favorite laundromat has a bar.

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Dad visit

These may be a week late, but whatever.

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