Being really busy is good for lots of reasons, but this definitely feels like too much. The class I'm teaching will be over in late June, and the mindfulness class I just signed up for will be about halfway through by then, so I bet I'll feel all righteously mindful and not even realize that the other class has anything to do with that. We JUST finished the math portion, and what an unholy mess that has been. Almost every day I've been meeting with one or two of the students to tutor them through fractions and percent conversions. I am worn out and overwhelmed. I worry that I didn't teach it well enough or something, but I followed their damn lesson plan. They have been absorbing things well, it's just harder than hell to move through math quickly. And who would want to? A lot of them are trying to prepare for tests to get into college or nursing school. I've also been helping them on resumes and cover letters. It is a LOT, but today they told me that a lot of their coworkers want to take the class. Then they said if I'm not able to teach it next year, they'd tell them not to bother. Of course it will be helpful no matter who's teaching, but that made my heart very happy.
In addition to running back and forth to the main facility for that, I have also had several appointments and more to come. The good news is that my A1C has dropped a full point over the last year- much better than a sudden drop- and I am 0.3 points away from where my endocrinologist wants me to be. He had a lot of insights for me, especially about tennis. He gave me a temporary rate to program before I go play, and last night I was able to play for an hour and a half without needing any food. It doesn't help to burn 700 calories if you have to take in 500. He said I'm having so much trouble because I'm having to eat to my insulin, and the only way to fix that is with slight adjustments. I'm so close now that it's REALLY easy to crash, and tennis is a very hard thing to manage. I'm gearing up to play 3 times a week, and I just learned that I have tendinitis in my foot. And shin splints. And plantar fasciitis, but I knew that. And as you can imagine, the podiatrist's only goddamn solution ever is ugly, boxy, solid white or solid black shoes. Or huge, tall orthotics that fit in nothing but my FUggs. Le sigh.
Friday, I went to get gas and the gas cap door wouldn't open- the catch gets stuck. I had to get someone else to grab the door whole I pulled the lever. Then my card was declined, so I paid with the credit card and went to check my account on my phone. They had just changed the website and I couldn't remember my new password, so I went to the branch, where I found out some dickhead got a hold of my debit card number- not my card, mind you- and wiped my account clean in $50 increments at four different Walmarts in Georgia. Apparently they can put the card info on a blank card and spend away in a store. The credit union filed a dispute and credited me my money, but now I have to go figure out what I have to change. And fix my gas cap door, lest I want refueling to continue to be a collaborative effort.
Today I had a library presentation to do before teaching class, then I met a student for tutoring, worked a couple more hours, then played an hour and a half of tennis. I crashed SIX TIMES today, I have had no time to edit for the medical website, and I am exhausted. Riley's vision is getting really bad, and I am behind on everything. I do feel better after putting all this down though, as I knew I would- even if it takes time. I feel like work is in the way of the rest of my life, which probably means I need to explore some options. Tomorrow is an emotional intelligence class, and just in time, I think... as I recognize that I am overdue for a sad movie and a good cry. Sheesh.
I canceled my plans for tomorrow night, and am going to walk Riley when it's still light, do some editing, then finish my puzzle and my audiobook, then watch Project Runway episodes until it's time to go to bed.
Too much, too much, but I'm clean, off my feet, and in clean sheets. Tomorrow I'm going to wear the comfiest shoes I have, try to remember to pick up my insulin while I'm at the hospital, and hopefully- with just the slightest bit of luck- pack a lunch.
Goodnight.
