Messy Blog

It's a cold, rainy, lonely night. I watched Gravity, which did not help. I would like a small helping of Frasier to make me laugh and a shower to warm me up, but first I'm going to write to you, because that always helps.

I am reminding myself that it will not always feel like this, and that I will enjoy the quiet while it's here. I wish I was content like this, but I am not. Tomorrow will be full, and so will Sunday, and it won't be too long until I am tired and ready for bed. For now, I get to listen to Solo's and the refrigerator's purrs, mixed with the pleasant clacking of the keyboard.

I finished a book tonight: The Last American Man. I am behind on my 2014 challenge, but all I'll need is one that sucks me in. I have so many on the shelf, waiting to be read, but I think I may splurge and pick up one that I have really wanted to read: The Night Guest.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/books/the-night-guest-by-fiona-mcfarlane/2013/11/17/b7ad91fa-3fd5-11e3-9c8b-e8deeb3c755b_story.html

I am not even going to read that review, but you may. I was already convinced by the EW review, and I don't want to remember why. I have so many books on my To Read shelf from Shannon and others, along with thrift and used book store purchases, but I want this particular one now. I never buy them new, and I will probably search the used book store first, but if I don't find it at Grassroots, I will head to B&N.

Well, look at that. I'm over here, feeling all mopey, and Mike calls to check in. "Your dog's still alive," he tells me. "I don't let her out of my sight when she goes out to potty. Nothin's gonna happen to her on my watch- I don't want you crawlin up my ass!"

Well, that's good news!

Solo is in my lap, like she always is as soon as I open my laptop. Earlier, she was on my lap as I watched Gravity. Jasmine was stretched out next to me, her head nuzzled up to Solo's. These two love each other. They often play together, and when I come home from work, they are both curled up on my bed. At night, Jasmine has to wait in the kitchen while I hide cookie bits in my bedroom. Solo runs in and posts herself right on or in one of the hiding places so that she can swat at Jasmine. It's a mini cat gauntlet. Jasmine starts making frustrated monkey noises and darts from side to side while Solo bats at her until she can get the cookie. In the afternoons, they wait by the slider for me to let them out into the sunshine. Yesterday, I watched Solo nuzzle Jasmine for a good ten minutes. Jasmine was standing out there with Mini rubbing her head up on Jasmine's chin, dragging her tail across Jasmine's cheek. Jasmine would periodically look down and put her nose on Solo's back. Solo just kept cuddling and cuddling her... until she got into that riled up state and grabbed Jasmine's leg with both paws and bit her. Bit her again. Raised herself up on her back legs and grabbed Jasmine's head and bit her in the face. Jasmine just looked at her for a moment, then did her jump-in-place, ready-to-play stance. Solo swatted her and strolled inside. Jasmine stood there for a moment more, than darted inside and grabbed a toy.

See? Just writing makes me feel better. My animals make me feel better. Writing about my animals returns me to a happy mood. I should just write a dog blog. I clog my blog with dog.

Bad, Bad Leroy Brown Dog was out loose again yesterday. I tell you that to once again celebrate my best blog title ever. He came right up to Jasmine, and I was correcting her again and again before I would let her say hi. I told her to be nice to Leroy, because he's a sweetheart, and she was. I am thrilled to tell you that she has met Leroy and several other dogs in the neighborhood: She met Titan, the bovine-looking, completely undisciplined and unexercised Pit Bull puppy. She met Rex and Capone, the two Pit mixes downstairs. She met Rocco, the undisciplined (but starting to get exercise with the Halti I recommended) Boxer mix. I actually see him out now, being walked. Jasmine has also met Angel, a very friendly Chihuahua that was attacked by two Dalmatians several months ago and damn near died from it. His owners said he had been terrified of big dogs since then, and that Jasmine was the first one he had expressed any interest in meeting. That one went well, as did her meeting with the big, unneutered Pit puppy, Papa. Jasmine has also met my neighbors' happy, hyper Boston Terrier Chandler, and his new puppy brother, Joey. I feel confident about her class that starts on Sunday.

Today I was talking with my boss about how things were going and some ideas the volunteers and I have about how to handle the insolent, ungrateful few that like to hang out and bitch about the VA while abusing every privilege they get. They really are very few- most are perfectly respectful and follow the very simple, obvious rules, like No Porn, or No Food Or Drink At The Computers. My coworkers and I were giggling about adding a No Conspiracy Theories rule. My favorite coworker had a great idea about putting on one of our many boring DVDs when people start to get obnoxious and turning up the volume. My boss asked me how I was handling those people and I explained what I do, but then she clarified and said she wanted to know what I did for myself- how did I let it go? I told her I call my mom and bitch to her, and then she yells at me to quit bringing work home. That made my boss laugh. I told her that it really helps to have others around to commiserate with later, or even just someone to throw a quick eye at, but also that the united front helps to keep those few in line. Some guy who is normally very kind got a very shitty attitude with me today, and one of the work studies was watching closely. Everyone keeps an eye out and we update each other when we have a problem child in our midst. It's also nice that we're directly across the hall from the VA Police. When I explained the problems with the setup, my boss got on the phone and asked for a half door for the office so that nobody can walk right up behind me. She is a stickler for the rules, but she wasn't exaggerating when she said that she protects her employees. I love that she wanted to make sure I had a good outlet for frustration, and seemed ready to provide help or direction in that area. She also asked me straight out what she could do to make my job easier. She had some very helpful suggestions for projects I'm working on, knew which problems to let me handle, and is in general a very positive, caring, funny person.

I've decided that I'm going to reevaluate my morning routine so that I can feel a little calmer when I get to work. Of course, I'll probably blob my way through the weekend and Sunday night I'll be running around cussing and agitated because I was supposed to be in bed an hour ago.

Speaking of which...

Good Girl

Wow, has it really been that long since I wrote a blog?

One of the few things that I do miss about my old job, aside from the people (okay, some of the people) is browsing BuzzFeed and sending silly things to my friends all day. Clearly, I was hard at work.

Now that I have to focus on juggling at work, I am feeling especially lonely.

I am surrounded by new people at work, and they are wonderful, but I do miss my old people. I am really excited that Shannon is going to come visit me next month, and in June, I am going to go meet up with Tracy and Dad in San Diego. Tonight, I am meeting a friend for a walk on the hill. I am very tired, but it's the kind of tired that would be best alleviated by a walk around the hill. I need to go grocery shopping, but let's see if I actually make it after that walk.

Riley is having a small vacation in Topaz, sitting in the sunshine and giving me a small vacation from walking two dogs. Jasmine starts class this weekend, and needs a shot before that, so she's still with me. We had a minor adventure last night. Solo managed to knock the dowel rod back into the slider track, trapping me out on the balcony. I had my phone, thankfully, so I called Jody to see if she could come let me in. I wanted to try Jody first because Jasmine knows her. She didn't answer, so I had to call the maintenance guy. As he walked up, I warned him that the dog was inside. She had been happily curled up on my bed, but heard me talking to someone and came out to investigate. She came to the slider and seemed confused, then flipped her lid when the front door opened. She ran over and he backed right out the door again, with me calling to her and telling her it was okay. He told her to get back and she did, but she stayed within a foot of him, fur raised and barking some very serious warnings. He came in and walked towards the slider, and she stayed less than a foot from him the whole way. She did not touch him, but she let him know she was ready to if necessary. He pulled the bar out of the track and let me in, and Jasmine escorted him out. He was very kind (and brave) about the situation, saying that she was only doing her job by protecting me. If he was annoyed about having to be pestered at 9 o'clock at night, he didn't show it.

I am grateful that I had my phone and someone to call, but I think I'm going to offer a key to a closer female neighbor that my dogs know. Mostly though, I am so proud of Jasmine. She let him in to do his job,  but she kept her body between him and me. She knew he did not belong, but did not overreact. I could not ask her to do any better, even with voice commands. What if I was not able to speak? We have never gotten to try out her protective nature, and she aced the test.

This situation made me realize why I have her with me. It's not about any feeling of obligation to Chris, or trying to help him out. It's about an obligation to her. She is as much my dog and she is an Square Christmas. Ha ha! I'm writing this through the voice recognition and that was too funny to take out. She is as much my dog as she is Ant's or Chris's. To her, those obligations are clear and instinctive. I feel the same way, but I also feel the need to justify them. She just reminded me that the reasons don't really matter. She is my girl and I am hers, and we will protect each other.