Be our guest

Sarah texted me the other day, telling me she'd found a really nice futon at the thrift store. She said it was in really nice shape and looked like it had been kept in someone's spare room- hardly ever used. She sent me a picture of her husband flopping on it. He wanted to make sure it was a good piece of furniture.

This was Mom's idea so that I wouldn't have to give up my living room when I have guests. I don't mind that, but it is a pain in the ass to have to take apart and remake the couch every day. When Ant lived here, he would leave the sheets on the couch through the week and only take them off and put my couch back together on Fridays so that I could have my living room for the weekend.

This find saved me a trip to IKEA and a whole bunch of money, though to be honest, I think three of my friends and I were all looking forward to spending a whole bunch of money at IKEA. That's alright- I'm sure we'll go anyway.

It is a very nice futon. The mattress is thick and the frame is sturdy AND it has drawers underneath. I'm hoping to host a couple guests soon and I also wanted to make sure I had a reasonable place for Ant if he needs a place to stay. It's clean and it's nice and she got this thing for $35. I thought I was pretty good at finding deals, but Sarah is amazing.

Now all I need is a bigger place. No, Mom, I am not moving that bookshelf. At least, I don't plan to for now. I am cleaning up and eyeing the current state and seeing what I can rearrange. I love a puzzle, but I think I may have finally smushed as much as humanly possible in here. 

As long as you don't need anything on the bottom shelf, it's fine.

The futon has been tested and approved.

Yes, I am adorable, and yes, Jenny will be covering the mattress to protect it against cat presents.

Yo yo effect

This was a long day.

It started sometime last night when I somehow suspended my pump. I've never done that while asleep before, but I'm always learning new things about having an external pancreas. I figured it out at 4, when I woke up from dire thirst and an equally dire urge to pee. Once awake, the nausea kicked in. I turned the pump back on, tested, gave myself a bolus, and sipped water for about a half hour until I felt better. Judging from the nausea, I was in ketoacidosis, but there isn't much to do other than water, insulin and rest unless you're throwing up and can't keep water down.

I got up on time but moved slow, because that crap takes a toll on you. Today was the workforce development program, and I had the lesson plan, so I was definitely going in. The roads were icy and I was too late for a good parking spot, so I parked in the neighborhood and hauled my butt to class with four bags. One of those was a lunch bag, and I need to give up that ghost on class days, because I already have plenty to carry.

Class was four hours, then a quick lunch with a friend and then a meeting for some essay editing for the level 2 class, then right to another meeting with my level 3 classmate, then go find my stuff and meet my coworker who delivered some news about an ominous meeting that is probably going to derail work life as we know it.

I dragged myself to the grocery store and forced myself to clean out the car while it was light outside and then picked up in the house a bit. Then I watched Magic Mike. I'm so glad I did, because that picked my mood up. Yes, because dudes. But also because it was a cute movie and I even enjoyed the predictable plot. Matthew McConaughey is an oddball, but he is dedicated. And good grief, Channing can dance.

So I was feeling sane again and sang for a while, and then I got a text from the guy I went out with last night and had to send him a rejection letter in return. It felt really shitty, probably the hardest one yet, because he was a really sweet, kind, cool guy. And no, that's not enough. It feels really shitty to me that that's not enough, but I know that when it's right, it's gonna feel right.

I have this friend at work who does not want to make plans to get together outside of work. This is difficult for me, because she's awesome and I just don't know how to be friends with someone in a limited capacity like that. Today I explained that and told her that I would respect her line and stop pestering, but to know that it is a blanket invitation. She told me not to stop asking, and that it gets easier as her kids get older, and told me that if she was going to meet up with anyone from work, she would want it to be me. That was my really nice moment today.

Fasillytation

I have finished a book!

It was an actual book- not an audio book. I mean, I know those count, but it was nice to sit in the quiet for a couple hours. I was about to donate that sucker. I recently rearranged my furniture again (shocking, I know) and shuffled some books around. I have bookmarks in books that I haven't picked up in years. I took most of those out and put them back on the (now 3) waiting-to-be-read shelves.

I'm starting to wonder what I'm doing with all my time. There are all these big projects that will admittedly take a while, but what progress am I making? There are things I want to do daily, and I try to set intentions, but I should remind myself that that's a relatively new thing, and I will just have to get better at it.

Last week I played tennis for the first time in what might be two months. It was fantastic. We started with our regular warm up, and I was hitting the ball mostly where I wanted it to go, using some control and some speed. We rallied a little bit, and then my coach added a loop to my swing.

I don't know if you know this, but tennis players have a loop in their swing. I have never had one. Every time I have tried, I couldn't get the timing down. I am really fortunate with my coach- he is giving me focused, one-on-one instruction that I've never had on anything. He broke it down into steps and we practiced those as we had slowed the film down to see it frame by frame. He had names for the steps and ways to think about them. He was patient when I had to stop, close my eyes, and think very hard about connecting and timing those movements.

Mom, I think you were just talking about all the different elements and techniques and trying to incorporate them all together. That IS the hard part. You extend your arm and forget to point your feet the right way. You put spin on the ball but forget to finish the swing over your shoulder. With this series of movements, all of them needed to come together right then, and I had to stop several times during the slo mo lessons to focus on sending an unmuddled directive from my brain to my body.

This was an exciting moment for me- an exciting lesson, but at first I was hitting balls all over the place. Some into the other courts, many into the net, almost sent a few over the fence, had mis-hits galore, I hit some into myself and some I missed entirely. That part felt very bad. I was embarrassed that I seemed relatively competent when I started, but had descended into a tennis version of Atari's Combat, with balls bouncing off all walls and spinning me in place.

But then I'd almost time one right. Then back to nonsense. Then another, and more nonsense. Then I'd catch one just right, but hit it into the net. "That's exactly right!" he'd yell. "Ignore that one- keep going!" Eventually I caught more like that- just solid- and Evan would show his approval with a fist pump. He was proud and so was I. I am delighted to have a loop!

This lesson has been buoying me for the last several days. I keep going back to it, thinking about how you have to be willing to look like a nut to improve. This applies in all areas, and I am so glad that I am willing to do that. Bring on the aerial yoga.