Screw you, soup.

I can't make soup.

I'm feel like a failure and I hate everyone and I want a cigarette.

I'd settle for an afternoon and a few chapters

I know I'm a big liar about the damn glass blog and I'm trying to get there but good grief I feel like I'm all over the place. I'm having a rough time managing everything and it feels like lately my life is just get through the week, go see a couple friends, rush to prep for the week, then start over. I hate this feeling, I hate hating Sundays, and writing about this- all rushed as I'm trying to get to bed- is boring.

I ate this carefully crafted dinner tonight because I have a fasting lab tomorrow, and now I'm crashing, of course, because that happens every damn time I try to plan to not crash. Like today for tennis. Do you know how hard it is to crash, suck down a couple juice boxes and try to recover fast enough to play without crashing again? If you manage to do it right (which I did, though it took 80 grams of carbs, 10 minutes of rest, then 20 minutes of half-assed tennis before I could start really running around again), it makes you REALLY tired, which is not what you need. And if your answer is you just need to prepare better, remember that EVERYTHING affects your blood sugar, and all the preparation on earth won't always prevent this crap from happening, though you've been trying to figure tennis out for almost a year now.

See what I mean, Mom? I am in a very cranky, frustrated, bad place at the moment, and I need a quiet, introverted day with a book. Urgghh. So there's that, and it's time for bed now. Gotta go get some rest so I can be less of an asshole tomorrow.