The carport was finally repaired. It took seven months and in that time I received zero communication from the office despite my calls, emails, work orders, and visits. The maintenance guys were the only ones to talk to me about it and thankfully they told me work would be done today. They said it had been a nightmare for them to try to get it replaced and it took forever for the materials, so that explains the wait, but not the office's actions. Maintenance also said the office would send a notice about the work, but of course that didn't happen. I'd moved my car and the others were at work, so that worked out.
I had a nice connecting talk with some coworkers, made progress on projects, and got let go by a nice yet unsure man I'd just started seeing. I appreciated him telling me, and it did seem as though he was unsure about many things in his life, so I wasn't surprised, but it was a little disappointing anyway. I can relate, because I usually feel unsure but I have gotten used to that, so I just try to make my way with that feeling, not expecting it to leave.
I got some rough news yesterday and some rough news today, but today I was reminded of the Rashi quote, "Receive with simplicity everything that happens to you." It makes sense to me because there is often nothing to be done about it and it often turns out better than I thought it would. Yesterday I cried at the probability that I would have to redo a very painful procedure, and today it was disheartening news on the job front. The bearer of today's news saw my reaction and said not to get down by it but to trust in the bigger picture. I would love to be able to see more possibilities in my immediate reactions than just the bad news. I wonder if that is a conscious movement of perspective or seeing evidence over time.
Tomorrow is a different painful procedure, so perhaps it's fair that I am feeling dismayed. But tomorrow I get to have the I Don't Care meds, and I am looking forward to not giving a shit for a couple hours. Today my kind massage therapist brought my medic alert bracelet by after I'd forgotten it at her office several days ago. Discussing the biopsy, she said to look at it as though I was being core sampled, and that made me laugh. When the contractors were building the new carport, I brought out cold bottles of water and a Powerade- unsure again, thinking they probably had their own water, but they were very happy and grateful, so that was nice. And when they were gone, I moved my car into my shady carport, and my neighbors who live above it came rushing out to applaud. They have been such great supporters, lamenting the delay, chasing people out of my parking spot, and even making requests in the office on my behalf- asking them to at least mark my spot somehow until the carport was fixed. It was nice to celebrate with them!
And Sarah came to hang out tonight, so we ate some food, caught up, and looked at mens. She knows I can get reluctant to try. To take you on a weird analogy, it feels to me like when worms are stranded all over the sidewalk. I cannot bypass them to dry out and die, so I move them to the grass- every single one I find. When looking through potential people to meet, there are some definitely nots and some maybe, but most are probably perfectly fine people that I can't tell enough or don't feel any particular way about, but don't all those deserve a chance? I can't pick them all up off the sidewalk so I start to feel overwhelmed, but then Sarah and I look through together. I explain why I'm stuck on an arbitrary guy and she offers some practical point. I've also been watching Hoarders because it motivates me to 1) get rid of things and 2) get rid of things the way I'd like. The swiping exercise today had me thinking of Hoarders because I was stuck in a house of profiles I didn't know what to do with, and my organizer/psychologist showed up and now I'm cruising through, able to say keep or go. That was another unpleasant metaphor for dating. I'm going to have to wrench my perspective toward a more positive example.
Jennyway, my point was that many lovely things happened today too, especially because it's supposed to get very hot this weekend and I have a shady spot for the summer.
