Not in focus

Sorry about that. Here the rest of the vegetables and the bottom part is where the meat is packed in ice packs.

Produce

The produce was packed on top, and I was immediately thinking about keeping the service when I saw how healthy my meals would be. But that's if I can cook them all, as Mom pointed out. Killjoy.

What's inside

All of the ingredients are packed into this box, and mostly labeled by meal.

Blue Apron

One of the volunteers at work subscribes to this service. The ingredients for three fresh meals are delivered each week. Subscribers are given free meals to donate to other people to lure them into the service. I got my free box today, but I will probably have to pay for next week as well, since I probably was not able to cancel in time.

IntroverSHHHHHion

6:45 am on a Saturday. I'm up from a slight low, but the cat would have woken me up anyway. I fed the girls and took Riley out, and now Riley is rolling her treat ball around the living room. Putting her kibble in that was the one of the best ideas I ever stole off the internet.

I have a boring weekend ahead now that I am unattached again, but I am looking forward to having a chance to rest and catch up. I'll figure out what kind of trouble I can get into later- for now, I just want some quiet.

The librarian from the Sacramento VA is coming to spend next week training me- this is the second and final visit, as he retires in December. I have to make sure I am really focused for that.

Also, I had a very important realization that I am lacking in good work shirts, so I'll be out at our favorite tagline stores, armed with coupons.

It won't be like this every weekend, but it's good to have just one.

Eventually trainable

I have lived here for almost two years, and I just now figured out how to thwart the dryer. Do you ever wonder how you make it out the door in the morning? Do you ever wonder how I make it out the door in the morning?

So I heard or read somewhere recently that you should not make decisions based on your emotions, and I was dumbfounded, because that implies that there is another way to make decisions! I... what?

But of course, the reason that information makes sense to me (now) is that I wear those feelings so thoroughly and immediately. It's a little alarming. Do you have anything I can take responsibility for- anything you'd like me to feel guilty about? It's a good thing I wasn't raised Catholic. Jesus.

Sparkles

I had most of a blog written earlier when I left the page to look for a picture and the whole damn thing disappeared. That was not how the old phone worked, gd. But last night I heard a woman say that God answers her in three ways: yes, no, and if you insist. I'm going to take notes from that and not attempt to rewrite that blog as was (because I could), and instead incorporate my new findings.

I was telling you that I felt like a deservedly unloved asshole because I broke it off with someone I did not feel was right for me. Well, not because of that. I felt like an asshole for the way I did it and... well, just the fact that I caused hurt by doing it at all. That sucks, and I have been feeling sick and awful for three days. I really, really do not like that part. And maybe I was not clear enough and maybe I did not say it often enough, but I DID try to communicate my concerns. I tried several times and with that realization, I am suddenly feeling much less defensive and apologetic about my decision.

I was being told that I was not communicating, but I was. Verbally. And like I said, maybe not to the best of my abilities, but it was the best I could do in that particular situation.

If this isn't me, I don't know what is. Let me skulk around, feeling like a bad dog in my asshole hat, wearing that and any other guilt and shame I can put on until I finally notice that I am not the only culprit. And hey, I might have had good reason to feel alarmed or reluctant. And that doesn't make me or him into a bad person, because we are not. Not even close. We're just not it.