Jenny's Pennies

Not a good week for financial news. Macy's apparently never started a fraud report on that jerk's shopping spree, so I got to spend an hour on the phone with them today, plus the time I spent at the register yesterday. Today I got a bill for the loan that was supposedly paid by my credit union. If that's not aggravating enough, I also got a call from some poor Wells Fargo schmuck with what has to be one of the worst jobs ever. He told me I was a VERY valued customer and he could offer me a much better interest rate than the credit union on my loans. Dude, the credit union just gave me not 16.25%, but 16.25% LESS than WF, so go ahead and hang up on me now.

The thing that sucks about this is that it makes you so angry, you just want to shake somebody. If only you could have WF's CEO standing next to you when you make your third attempt with the automated customer service agent. The trouble is, they'd have to give a shit. The only people in your line of fire are the people who are trying to help you more than you realize. They hate the bullshit too.

Today at work, some guy pestered us very politely for use of our phone. It's normally a no, but we occasionally relent for one-time deals. This guy called somebody in Alabama and asked for money for a room. Whoever was on the other line said he could only offer prayers.

Jesus.

Well, now that I have depressed myself...

It's good that I couldn't get through to WF tonight. I'll call them tomorrow and make sure to breathe and be nice and not yell at the automated customer service agent. Maybe they can help me out a little. The Macy's guy did all the work that somebody else didn't, and swears the amount is flagged and I won't get charged for fees or being over my limit. Maybe I'll talk to some WF angel tomorrow and they'll offer me some waived fees. Maybe they'll only offer me prayers. If so, I'll grit my teeth, fork it over, and do my damnedest to swallow any shitty, sarcastic comments about W(t)F.

WHATEVER. I'm so much better off than I could be. I almost danced with delight today when I checked with HR and found I'm almost done with my military buyback. I was prepared to pay it all now and let any overages come back in my check, but now I've got to pay the croupier. But I also got notice that my W2 is waiting, so I'll file that about immediately. Money flows in and money flows out- like water, like air. I'm doing fine.

On a loosely related note, I saw an ad in the canteen today about deals on tires and picked one up. Then I refilled my Diet Cokey cup and went to check out. I told my buddy at the register that I had just spilled soda on my tire flyer and we giggled like 10-year-olds because the day was almost over and we were tired and unexpected rhymes are funny.

New Year's Resolutions

Lena had this great idea to keep people's cups straight. She had Mason jar mugs and Sharpies that must have been paint markers and everyone decorated their own.

Ok, so I haven't thought much about resolutions, but here are some things I plan to do in 2015:

Sign up for some classes. There are some affordable cooking classes coming up, plus I want to do actual self-defense or martial arts. I did pretty well going to yoga before the holidays, and in my defense, who goes to yoga on Christmas Eve? I already have yoga stuff in the car for this upcoming Wednesday, and I am enjoying the classes, so I expect I'll keep going.

Walk 30 minutes a day. This means without Riley: actual charging around enough to get my heart rate up, whether outside or on a treadmill or at work.

Make another stab at 30 books.

Incorporate time limits on useless activities.

Spend better time with Riley.

Write.

There. I think that's manageable. There are others- a whole list, of course, but those are most important to me.

Time to get ready for... well, the new year.

New Year's Eve

Happy New Year!

Went to a gathering at Lena's house, hung out with awesome people, ate yummy food, played games, and celebrated at midnight with a dog passed out in my lap. (That's Lena behind me, probably about to apologize again for Gidget's horrific gas.)

Sparky read an article that said you're supposed to wear yellow underwear on New Year's for luck, or pink for new love. I don't have yellow, but I was happy to wear pink. Too late, I read the article and found out it's supposed to be NEW underwear. I wore the pink yesterday anyway, but I just happened to have a brand new pair of undies- washed, but not yet worn, so that's what I chose as I got ready to go to the party. They're red. Hopefully that means something scandalous.

I am happy to be sitting on the couch in my pj's today, but am some point I will get up and wander through Kohl's for the next several hours. All I hear right now is warm air moving through my apartment and Riley whuffling around for any missed dog food from her treat ball. It's cold outside, but it's nice in here with an egg sammich and orange slices.

I hope you had a good New Year's Eve, and I hope we all have a fantastic year.

MRFs

I have been a cooking machine the last few nights, but now I've got a burger patty, ham slices, and individual meatloaves all packaged up and ready to eat.

My hands are chapped from the constant washing and it got cold outside. I just put on some Gold Bond big guns lotion.

Today we ate lunch at Süp. A slice of quiche and a cup of soup and a tiny oatmeal chocolate chip cookie. I don't remember what was in the quiche because I was too busy eating it, but I do know that its description on the chalkboard made us both order it. My soup was broccoli cheddar, Dad had chicken tortilla. Folks, remind me to take you to Süp when you come visit.

Time for Roseanne on Netflix.

Almost Dinnertime

Ham and mac 'n cheese are in the oven, Dad is flash frying fresh green beans. Say that three times fast. I am drinking Shock Top and grooving to my Good Boys playlist. It was a lazy day filled with cookies, well wishes, and awesome presents. I've got good food, good company, good beer, and good music. I hope you do too. Merry Christmas.

You can now call me a happy girl.

Groceries are bought and put away, half my apartment is cleaned and vacuumed, my tree is up (thanks to Sparky for that kick in the pants), Amazon boxes are stacked more or less under the tree, and reciprocal Amazon boxes will make it in time. It's almost midnight, but it's still Saturday night, and I'm going to watch as much of The Fellowship as possible (about 20 minutes, I'm sure) before I fall asleep. I often feel like weekends get away from me, but this one feels good.

It will be fine.

I finally had my pre-holiday meltdown and just took half of a pre-holiday valium.

I am extremely unhappy with myself at the moment, and it is really hard to reach past this feeling to convince myself that it is only temporary, and that I do not always hate myself. That not everything I do is selfish and procrastinating.

Valium works quickly.

Ok, so two things I know to do right now:

1) Be grateful. I have amazing people in my life who either aren't aware that I am awful or who love me in spite of it. I have a lot of good that needs to be noticed.

2) Redefine or revisit my values. Is what I'm doing in line with what's important to me?

This is like math: I need to make sure I'm using the right formula and setting up the problem right.

Here's a tired, half-drugged attempt:

It is important to me to treat myself kindly.

It is important to me to show appreciation to all, but especially the ones dear to me.

It is important to me to be a good pet owner.

It is important to me to be brave.

It is more important to me to make a messy effort than none at all.