Well, here I be.

When was the last time I wrote a blog?  I have not been finished with school for long- a little over two weeks- but I haven't been relaxing.  I wish I had just decided to take that first week and do whatever I wanted instead of thinking that I would just have a job by Friday.  I've been partially paralyzed and I probably should have tried to relax a little.  On second thought, I don't know how it could go any way but this.  My counselor would tell me that it was not going to feel comfortable no matter what.  As if I could relax.  There is a reason why I haven't been doing jigsaw puzzles and thrift store shopping and lots and lots of reading.  I am not finished.  I need a job.  Why can't one just fall into my lap?  Ha ha ha sigh.  Yeah, as I look back I realize that most of the jobs I've had have either fallen into my lap or someone else has facilitated it.  I like those the best.  Now I have to do it myself and I'm not enjoying that at all.  I know this sounds pretty sad, but I'm hoping to come to terms with this so that I can actually get moving.  I have filled out forms and worked on my resume, but I am not cranking things out like I need to.  I think some of this has to do with just being exhausted.  I just spent the last four years going to school nonstop. I'm confused as to how I could go to school every summer and still need over four years to get a four year degree.  I'm told that's how it is now.  Transferring from TMCC surely contributed, but still.  I liked being a student and I look forward to taking more classes.  Just recently, my counselor pointed out that I've been agonizing over school the whole time and doing fine- I will likely freak out about the next stage too, and be just fine.

My color book provided some timely inspiration.  This is not my birthday, but the color stopped me cold and I couldn't stop looking at it.

May 22  Peridot
Dramatic
Poised
Knowledgeable

If you were born on this day:
You are extremely intelligent and love to learn.  Being productive is important to you.  You need to move physically toward your dreams and not get stuck in fear or confusion.  Your answers come to you through faith and action.

How this color benefits you:
Your personal color helps ease any worry that you may be carrying.  Wearing, meditating, or surrounding yourself with Peridot helps ease financial pressures and connects you to the spiritual side of your nature and your true calling.


My color says productivity and financial security are very important to me, and that's something that rings very true.  And this may sound vague enough to apply to anyone, but I believe that sometimes the Universe smacks you upside the head.  So okay.  Deep breaths.  Gotta get going.  It will be fine.