I am fabulous.

But I don’t WANT to come back from my break.

Everybody feels the need to spell their name for me.  This is rarely necessary, since I only need the first letter of the last name and last four digits of their SSN.  Working here is teaching me not to launch into a long, meandering tirade when I call a customer service number.  Now I try to briefly summarize what I want and ask them what they need from me.  And I try to remember their name.  And I try to be nice, no matter how annoyed I am.  I always ask Chris to talk to the cable company for me because I immediately want to wring their necks, but now I’m reluctantly realizing that no matter how long I’ve been yanked around, THIS person is likely new to the situation and might try to help me if I’m not a total asshole.  I’m always kind of thrilled when someone is all angry and wants to talk only to their doctor or a pharmacist when I can help them.  It’s a game to see if I can calm them down enough to find out what they need, then surprise them when I can actually help them.  Ha ha, see?  You think I’m just a lowly messenger, but I am SO much more than that!

But Jennyway, these damn spellers are making me crazy.  We could be halfway through the phone call by now, but here you are going: “My last name is Beelzebub. That’s B as in boy, EE, L as in longer conversation than necessary, Z as in zebra, E, B as in boy, U, B as in boy.”  Uh… thanks.  Now can I have your last 4?  Sometimes this is helpful, like when they say, “Hi, my last name is ?An a;I;sz n; ovds xdoid c, that’s Q...”  Other times this is not helpful, like when their name is Thompson.  Or Smith.  I had a guy spell Smith for me yesterday.  I like the people who say “Blue, like the color” or “French, like the European people.”

Good grief.  I just checked my total calls for the day and I am currently tied with my record, which I set on Monday.  118 calls.  Sheesh.  One more call to break my record.  Now I’m wishing the phone would ring.

Chris and Ant have been working very hard on the yard and the house.  It’s nice to come home and find them in the yard, struggling with sprinklers or plants.  They show off their hard work and I swoon appropriately.  We have an ant problem (lowercase this time) and it would be made a lot better if Chris could just put his damn dishes in the dishwasher.  He has been sealing up the cracks in the window that they keep coming through, but we MUST REMOVE THE TEMPTATION!!!  He seems to think it’s just part of kitchens and they aren’t really a problem.  That’s just because he doesn’t want to do his own damn dishes.

120 calls.  New record.