I was just talking to Dad yesterday about the possibility of trading in my car. I want a different car because waah. I could spell out all my reasons, but that's about the gist of it. Dad went into research mode, and we discussed as many pros and cons as we could come up with. The results are pretty much what you'd imagine: pay it down enough to where I'm not upside down, THEN trade it in. Poo.
It's not right for me for many reasons, but Dad reminded me that it was exactly what I needed at the time, and it will continue to function well as long as I need it, and it will hold its value. Not what I want, but what I need. What a good metaphor for the moment. I have dug myself a pretty deep hole, and I need some patience to get out of it. But patience is avert you, as I thought Mom was saying all those years.
It's odd having the three girls and me together again- oddly familiar to be alone with only the animals and Lord of the Rings. My stomach is uneasy these days, probably because my decision is likely made. I feel like I will waste opportunities here, and I will waste opportunities there. I feel like a wreck, and I don't feel like things will be fine. But I also recognize that that's how I feel right now, and that will change. (That, and 9:15 on a Wednesday night is probably not the best time to assess things.) So, ok. Clean up, read, go to sleep. Keep plugging away, because small victories do mean a lot, and you are absolutely capable. Hang in there.
No comments:
Post a Comment