But at least I made dinner

Have I mentioned how much I hate sharing one washer and dryer with... ten people?

Arrrrghhhhhh... but ok, it doesn't create problems TOO often. Someday my Whirlpool will come.

Actually, I just met with a financial adviser last week and got some confirmation, some good ideas, and yet another suggestion to get a second job. He makes a solid point, but I am away too much as is. I'm pushing for the alternate schedule, but now I have to write a justification. If I could just push the more pressing issues aside...

Yes, send the waahmbulance. I'm still feeling sick and tomorrow I have the next quarter of fillings to go, which will make that side ridiculously sensitive too and then I don't know how I'll eat. I've already taken the water pitcher out of the fridge, because nerve pain first thing in the morning is more than I can bear. I will interrogate the dentist tomorrow, but I'm sure the answer is "Yep!"

I'm almost finished with the 1500 piece puzzle and over 300 editing questions, and it's probably not the best time for reflection. I always feel pulled back to do more editing, not because it's fun- it's really not- but because I constantly feel obligated. I want the things that can come from this, so I'm trying to put in some time every day, and that gives me the sense of what it must be like to work from home.

I hope I sound as whiny as I feel.

So now I have to draw on some wise words and calm myself down, because cigarettes are off limits, and Nyquil and beer don't mix.

1) Stop looking at everything. Keep your head down, toil away, and know you're moving, even if it doesn't feel like it.

2) Acknowledge what's good. Paid off the small student loan, found cheaper and better insurance, about to consolidate the big student loan. You've done well, and the financial adviser could only suggest cutting out Netflix!

3) If you made the mess, you can clean it up. I'll give that one a grudging nod.

I was just telling Tracy earlier about how I keep using my wishes to get better, and just realized that what that means is opportunities to get better, and isn't that horrifying?

I got Sarah some colored pencils, Mom. You were right. That's why I called you. :)

I'm halfway through the Lord of the Rings trilogy on audiobook, and you know I cannot leave a puzzle alone until it's finished, so that's where I spent the weekend. Oh, that's probably at least half of it- I felt way too awful to do anything except nap and work on the puzzle for most of the weekend. Will I ever be able to enjoy doing a puzzle without feeling like I should be doing something else? Or does that make it enjoyable? No, I will probably always feel like I could be accomplishing something else, and that's very true, but I really like doing puzzles, so fuck that.

I also learned this weekend that I can be pretty bitchy when I'm sick. I had a couple moments where I had to excuse myself from responding because it wasn't going to be nice.

Alright, so I will try to do some laundry tomorrow. Tonight, editing. Pet the dog. Listen to a good story. Get some more rest, because I clearly need it.