Merry birthday

I have so many draft posts, I swear...

But guess who turned 18 in December! Aaarrrgghhhh!!!!

I finally got to see Ant and celebrate his birthday and Christmas. Poor kid always has to celebrate them together. This huge delay was half due to his holiday and work schedule, and half due to him trying to get an ID card so he can cash his paycheck and get me a present. I told him several times that all I want from him is his company and a high school equivalency, but he still insists he's going to get me something. I'm just going to put him to work during his visit next week.

I told him to decide on dinner and he asked if I was sure, because I might not like what he wanted, like Kung Fu Panda. "Isn't that a movie?" I asked. "Yes," he admitted, and cracked up. We picked out mini bundtlet cakes and went shopping for pants and shoes. We did much better on the shoe search this time, finding exactly what he wanted and for less money.

Tonight was kind of a whirlwind, because we had a lot to accomplish on a weeknight, but we got some good conversation in, and it was nice to catch up. We came back here for cake and I lit a candle and sang happy birthday. This kid I met at age 3, who came to live with me at 7, who has called me mom but mostly Jenny, just turned 18 years old. He's got some hurdles ahead, to be sure, but he's got a good head on his shoulders, a sensible inner voice, and a true heart. He stood there tonight looking through Dickies pants- liking the look and functionality of work pants just like his dad, but he is not his dad. They share some striking similarities, but Ant has a different view, and he doesn't want the chaos.

I had lots of warm fuzzies but also anxieties, considering the shaky support system he's trying to launch from. I made sure (again) that he knows I'm here and he knows. He's planning to do it on his own and he'll do it. He is careful about what he'll take from me, and I feel like he is being thoughtful about it, and appreciates that I am that stability just in case.

After we got the cake, we were trying to decide if we should eat or shop first. Ant asked me if I needed to eat first, thinking of my blood sugar. That was my favorite moment until later, when he said when it's warmer and I go play tennis, he'd come with me and skate at the park. Now that, I can do.

Happy, happy birthday, Ant.