Much appreciated but most unwelcome acceptance

Crazy winds took away my last bird feeder, and it was a couple weeks before I found a replacement. The birds wouldn't use it and I was confused, as it seemed like the same one I just had. I finally decided I would just have to replace that one, since it was doing them no good, and as soon as I picked up another feeder, I realized what the problem was. The one on the left allows them to perch and face the food. They would have to be skinny contortionists to eat from the one on the right. They are back now and happily pecking food and each other around my balcony.

Yes, I do go scrub off the bird shit. Usually not in winter, though.

Last night I went to a friend's housewarming party. Sarah and I brought alcohol, a houseplant, a giant take and bake cookie, and a few toys for Carlos, his cat. We were entertained by all the silly options at the store, but were both enthralled by this little bunny slipper.

THE MOST ADORABLE cat toy ever.

Carlos was freaked out when we first got there, but seemed to be settled by the catnip that was inside the slipper. I introduced myself and he warmed right up to me. In fact, he liked me so much that he snuggled across my lap and returned to my side again and again. I kept petting him and he even answered me when I cooed. We were deep in a game of Cards Against Humanity when my friends were alarmed by me yelling WHAT THE FUCK at the top of my lungs and scrambling to get away from Carlos, who was peeing on me and the couch. There was a scramble of cards and wet towels and dish soap as we cleaned up and the host apologized for his pet, but joked that he hoped I truly felt part of family now. I do take it as a compliment that Carlos decided I was his, although another theory was that he was so comfortable between the catnip and the cuddles that he'd rather pee where he sat. In addition to feeling so loved as to be claimed, two new white cards were added to the deck in honor of my misfortune:

A cat pissing on your leg
and
Randomly yelling WHAT THE FUCK

Carlos the Urinator about an hour before marking his territory