Yo yo effect

This was a long day.

It started sometime last night when I somehow suspended my pump. I've never done that while asleep before, but I'm always learning new things about having an external pancreas. I figured it out at 4, when I woke up from dire thirst and an equally dire urge to pee. Once awake, the nausea kicked in. I turned the pump back on, tested, gave myself a bolus, and sipped water for about a half hour until I felt better. Judging from the nausea, I was in ketoacidosis, but there isn't much to do other than water, insulin and rest unless you're throwing up and can't keep water down.

I got up on time but moved slow, because that crap takes a toll on you. Today was the workforce development program, and I had the lesson plan, so I was definitely going in. The roads were icy and I was too late for a good parking spot, so I parked in the neighborhood and hauled my butt to class with four bags. One of those was a lunch bag, and I need to give up that ghost on class days, because I already have plenty to carry.

Class was four hours, then a quick lunch with a friend and then a meeting for some essay editing for the level 2 class, then right to another meeting with my level 3 classmate, then go find my stuff and meet my coworker who delivered some news about an ominous meeting that is probably going to derail work life as we know it.

I dragged myself to the grocery store and forced myself to clean out the car while it was light outside and then picked up in the house a bit. Then I watched Magic Mike. I'm so glad I did, because that picked my mood up. Yes, because dudes. But also because it was a cute movie and I even enjoyed the predictable plot. Matthew McConaughey is an oddball, but he is dedicated. And good grief, Channing can dance.

So I was feeling sane again and sang for a while, and then I got a text from the guy I went out with last night and had to send him a rejection letter in return. It felt really shitty, probably the hardest one yet, because he was a really sweet, kind, cool guy. And no, that's not enough. It feels really shitty to me that that's not enough, but I know that when it's right, it's gonna feel right.

I have this friend at work who does not want to make plans to get together outside of work. This is difficult for me, because she's awesome and I just don't know how to be friends with someone in a limited capacity like that. Today I explained that and told her that I would respect her line and stop pestering, but to know that it is a blanket invitation. She told me not to stop asking, and that it gets easier as her kids get older, and told me that if she was going to meet up with anyone from work, she would want it to be me. That was my really nice moment today.