It just occurred to me that this trip is feeling a little different than I'd hoped because I'm once again celebrating Singles Awareness Day. This should not be how I measure things, but I haven't been out of the country in 15 years and I am looking forward to it and I do feel like I've been juggling too much lately to have done as much research as I normally would. What feels sad to me right now is that it's not feeling like much of a collaborative effort. They've traveled together and I guess there's not much need to discuss logistics with me. I get the sense when I ask a question that I'm being coddled by these weary world travelers, but that might be me being sensitive, which I seem to be a lot lately. But seriously- the last trip was to Sweden with Rachel and while I didn't have any idea what or where anything was, it was her and me talking about it together. I'm feeling like a third wheel, which is admittedly their pet name for me. Amanda and I will be spending two days together while Nataliia is at her conference, and she has definitely tried to discuss what we can go do. I am more worried about the logistics, and that feels like an appropriate thing to consider, especially since it's been so long since I've traveled, and I have to think about insulin and the pump. I won't be able to wear the sensor, since it can't go through certain machines and would make security even more of a PITA, and you can't take it off temporarily. That means I'll have to track my blood sugar myself and guess where it's headed while I'm off my normal food and schedule and walking a lot more than normal. That means bringing extra supplies and being extra vigilant and arrrgghhh it's a lot, and I'm just not a wing it kind of person in this situation.
I know it will be fine once I get there, but I'm probably going to become increasingly anxious until then. What's not at all helpful is that friends' really well-meaning response to that will be "Relax, it'll be fine." So, next on my to do list is the first kickball game, then international travel with an insulin pump and a married couple, followed immediately by another kickball game, delivering a 45 minute presentation, and turning in a bunch of homework for my class. At least I found a lovely journal to take with me on my trip- I'm sure to have a lot to write about.
I know I'm going to have a great time. I know it'll be a lot of fun with good friends, and I will be posting lots of pictures and enjoying good food and silliness. Miss Solo will be in good hands, and yesterday at work I deleted or sorted 1200 emails that have been piling up in my inbox. That felt good. Last night I found an awesome jacket to take on the trip, and I found some shirts and bought a nice new pair of jeans. Today I got new shoes and replaced some crappy old bras. I've been exercising almost daily and I feel better and look better. I'm wearing contacts again and am working on buying a new pair of glasses. Things are pretty good. I just needed to air that out. And drink a beer. I need a beer.
No comments:
Post a Comment