Part of it is blood sugar, but I'm up early this morning feeling anxiety about my interview on Monday. I got the call about this on Wednesday, and at first they were discussing Thursday, but Monday was the first available. I was telling my friend that Thursday didn't give me nearly enough time to agonize. I would have done it, of course, but I'm glad to have the time to prepare and today... well, yesterday, I found a shirt that I am much happier with to go with my interview pants.
I know that it will not be perfect. It will be partially messy and it will be fine. I was just watching The Italian Job the other day for what reason, I don't know. That is a terrible movie. But it reminded me that fine stands for Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. Well, the F changes depending on the source, but this is what best applies to me right now. So that's definitely true: I will be F.I.N.E
After much practice with my counselor, I understand that it will be hard and I will do it anyway. I will remind myself that everyone is nervous about interviews and this is never going to feel comfortable. Last night I was envious of my neighbor, whose blue TV glow reminded me that some people are currently relaxed and not having to prepare for anything. But there are plenty of those evenings. The next one for me will be Monday.
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