When I woke up this morning I wondered where I would find the energy for everything I had planned today. I felt- still feel- completely exhausted. I feel like school has lasted for years this week yet it's all a blur. I thought I should have probably rearranged my work schedule but it was too late for that and off I went.
The fitness program I joined had a walk scheduled for today at 1. I was all excited to participate because I could fit that between work and my class. While at work it occurred to me that Riley would love that walk and I emailed the authority figure to ask. She said it was fine but I couldn't leave work in time to go get Riley. I was the only work study there and the office manager was gone. By the time another work study showed up I didn't have enough time to go home. I tried to just make it to the walk but I didn't even have time for that. Then I realized I left my water bottle at work again, which I would need for the mindfulness class tonight. Yes, my plan was to be up by 6:30, drive to work, drive home to get Riley, drive to UNR, park in the garage, walk to the Student Health Center, go for a hilly hour walk, have Chris pick Riley up, change into an unsweaty shirt, walk to class, walk to the library to research my paper, walk to the student union to eat dinner, walk to the mindfulness class, meditate for a few hours and THEN go home.
When the work study showed up I was all excited to go get Riley. I knew what time it was but I fought reality. I called Chris to see if maybe he could bring her to me- Nope. I whined and he was appropriately sympathetic. He consoled me with the idea of bringing her along for the next walk. I still felt sad. We hung up, I remembered the water bottle, said goddammit and made a u-turn. I did consider going on without it but I checked the time and found I was being REALLY unrealistic- I wasn't going to make it to the walk on time anyway. No, really. Twenty minutes to get there, park, pay for parking, then either wait for the slow shuttle or haul my ass uphill to the North end of the campus. I went back for the bottle. Looks like the schedule has changed.
I was so dismayed that my mood was hardly improved by having some girl hand me her parking pass upon entering the garage. I called Chris again to confess that I missed the walk and I was really upset. He felt pestered but made a totally admirable attempt at acknowledging my feelings. I kept thinking about my little girl and her happy little face when she finds out we're going somewhere- anywhere! I thought about bringing her little water bowl and what a trooper she is on long hikes. She is all about the long walks. Just that is enough to motivate me. She doesn't get the exercise she needs anyway, but especially around Jasmine. Jasmine has no endurance, she's good for a few short walks and a playtime or two. I've never seen Riley happier than when we took her along to Yosemite and hiked the trails all day. So I am sad.
On the walk from the garage I tried to be okay with not going and not taking Riley. What I came up with is that I am exhausted. I shouldn't have been axing work, it was the walk that was too much. There is plenty of walking in my schedule today and lots of other things to accomplish. I think the next walk is in a week, which is awesome because I don't have class that day. I could bring Riley early, meander up the hill so all her potties are out, do the walk, meander back to the Dodge and drive us home where we'll both surely take a nap. The Universe said I was not to do the walk today. Boo, but okay. I still got up at 6:30, went to work, drove to school, and walked to class. I will still go to the library, the student union, and the mindfulness class.
Tomorrow is super busy too, but there's a walk scheduled for 3:30! And on Saturday I'm sleeping in.
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