Beware the Hulk

I am in a horribly, nasty mood, probably because this is the slowest day ever.  I am trying to remedy this with Original Goldfish, Diet Shitty Cola and a piece of milk chocolate that someone gave me the other day.  I thought I would reserve it for emergencies because I'd much rather eat dark chocolate, but surely this qualifies as an emergency.  Maybe this is because I was jumping through hoops last night for this application and I am out of practice since I graduated.  Maybe this is because a certain someone has horrible sinus problems and snorts them in ALL FRIGGING DAY instead of blowing them out.  This person tries to defend it by saying it's bad allergies, but no, person.  It's called Kleenex.  Maybe I will bring them a present.

So today is Cook Something Bold and Pungent Day, so I bought a cactus pear.  I was at Winco and I was like, "Whaaaaaaaaaaat?" so I bought it and how handy that this holiday coincides?  Actually, I only knew it was Cook Something Bold Day, I didn't know it was and Pungent until just now.  I have no idea how it smells, all I know is that I have frigging splinters in my fingers and one is really irritating my thumb.  "Big Dummy," you might be snickering, but I didn't SEE any spikes when I picked it out.  It didn't look like it had any.  I just printed out instructions on how to prepare them and look:

 

Be warned though, while the ones in markets have been cleaned of the tiny hair-like thorns, the ones fresh off the cactus are covered with them, so be sure to handle them with heavy leather work gloves and scrub them hard to ensure all the painful little barbs are off. Either way, handle them carefully or with gloves just in case.

 

2 Make one long vertical slice down the body of the prickly pear.


Oh, fabulous. That's nice.  So, how was I supposed to pick one out at the store?  I must have missed the large leather gloves sitting next to the bin.  Remember talking to me on the phone, Tracy?  Remember how I was like, "Ow, how did I get a splinter?"  Because you just picked up a cactus pear, you big dummy.

Now I should go look up recipes for what to do with this damn pear once I cut it up while wearing my nonexistent leather gloves. Maybe I'll wait until Mom's here, ha ha.  At least I didn't try to eat it like a normal pear.