If I understand that it’s done, how come I have the urge to
vomit when I catch a glimpse of that tramp?
Yeah, I know, because it was brutal. I try not to, but oh, how I enjoy thoughts of
what she’s in for.
I had a great class with Riley the other night. Riley’s classmate called out, so I asked if
we could work on some specific problems we have. Riley has always been squirmy about being
picked up, and sometimes she struggles so hard that I worry she’s going to
fall. She seems to have trouble with the
stairs in the morning and often smacks her legs when getting in and out of the
car. The trainer worked with us on how
to get her used to being supported differently, pointing out that she is longer
than she is taller- something I don’t think I ever recognized. I found that she clearly feels more supported
now. It’s going to take some practice, but
as she’s getting older, we’re going to have to get used to her being carried
more. That makes me even more encouraged
to make her lose some weight.
Tracy, you need to get here already. There are too many days between now and then.
I’m kind of mad right now because I got told about some
notifications that were coming that could mean a nice chunk to put in my bank
account. The way it was presented to me,
it was as if it could be counted on. I
knew better, but couldn’t help but get my hopes up. My hopes have been up for two days now, and
just got the email that it’s no dice for me.
If I had gotten that email out of the blue, I would have shrugged and gone
back to work. Instead, I’m very
disappointed. Thanks for telling me
about that! I feel SOOOOOO much better
now. Trying
to find humor, only able to muster sarcasm.
Redirection.
Things are still as they were, which was not at all
bad. Not perfect, but totally
workable. People have always and will
always say more than they should and you are hardly innocent of that,
either. Chris is an idiot. It’s Friday.
The apprentice program is interesting and helpful, and it’s neat to have
homework again. Look, you’re busy! You’re having scheduling conflicts! And at some point tonight, you’ll be able to
curl up on the couch with a beer and watch the rest of Django Unchained. You could even start it over from the
beginning because it’s the weekend and you don’t have to worry about getting to
bed at a decent hour. There are good
things ahead and good things already! If
you know those two will suffer the karma they’ve earned, you’d better also
believe in your own karma. This is
already better, isn’t it?
Lately, Riley and I just find a place in the shade and sit
and listen to the birds and enjoy being outside. There’s always a breeze (this is Reno, after
all) and we watch the cars go by.
Sometimes we meet little dogs.
Sometimes we shade-hop around the block.
I love it when I get home early and we get to sit outside while everyone
is still at work. Those are happy, happy
moments and even when I’m sad, I lean back and look up through the branches of
a tree and watch the leaves wave and the sadness goes away. Being outside helps with being present. Sometimes I have to take Riley for a walk
because I’m too sad inside.
Being at work makes me think of all the things that are not
done.
But I know what I need to do. I have my list. Progress is happening. For now, just hang on.
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