Movie Metaphor

I dreamed last night that I had a serious physical altercation with both my parents that rang with I-hate-you adolescent strife, but we were fighting with dish towels.  I don't know what it was all about, but we stopped when I found a kitten in the rain.  Hmm.

Now that I have internet again, I am reclaiming my Netflix.  On "My List" was Glee and Toddlers and Tiaras, Family Guy and other items I had not put on this list.  Thankfully, it had been so long since I had changed the password that the only "Recently Watched" items were my Frasier episodes.  Unfortunately, it still remembered everything the residents of Corrigan Way had been watching, so in order to see what the new movie options were, I had to scroll down through suggestions made from their watching history.  But now, after watching a few interesting things just since I've been back home, it's updated!  My List, Recently Watched by Jenny, and Top 10 for Jenny are all actually things chosen by me, watched by me, and suggested for me.  This is not a small thing.  I have been waiting for the day when turning on Netflix didn't remind me of things I didn't want to think about.  It's been over 10 months now, almost up to a year.  Remember Downhill Racer?

From the top you can see so far into the distance
Look, it's downhill all the way from here
And getting there is quicker, let go and you'll just slide
It shouldn't take more than a year

That felt true then, and it feels true now.  My Netflix account is a sign to me of another goal accomplished.  Last night I watched a few TED talks and the first half of the Ken Burns documentary about the Dust Bowl.  There are TED talks on Netflix, Mom!  A while ago, I thought I'd like to watch one of those a day.  That just proved quite easy to do- thanks, Netflix.  I feel so much better turning on Netflix and seeing things I want to watch.  It's such a simple thing that's representative of so much more.  It's like what Tracy said about her competition on Friday- you work and work and work towards something and feel like you're getting nowhere, but suddenly there's all that progress- visible to everyone else, but more importantly, visible to you.  Watching movies is not the same as what she's put into ballroom, clearly, but there is something so powerful and emotional about finally seeing my choices on the screen.  Netflix is a neat metaphor for what's going on both inside me and out.  With every choice I make for myself, forging ahead alone, I am banishing demons.  And with each choice, more of the picture of who I actually am is clearer to me and to Netflix, and another Gory Horror Movie or Goofy Stoner Comedy is gone.