Friday, December 22, 2017

All this over saggy lettuce

I just went to let Gus potty and desperately needed lunch, but did not want to spend $6 on a burger that I would immediately regret eating. I remembered Pollo and actually bought a salad, which is what I usually get there. For the second time in at least 2 years, I got some saggy lettuce.

Not all, mind you, or even most. Not even a handful. I picked it out and happily ate my salad, but it reminded me of one of the early Pollo days here. My coworkers and I often get Pollo because it is delicious and appears to be real food and somewhat healthy... er. We get Pollo often enough to have favorites, earn points, and be able to order for each other. In all that time, I've only seen one other saggy lettuce experience.

What killed me was the response. Now, I have not always reacted well to fast food disappointments. My personal worst was discovering they heard rice instead of fries after leaving the drive through. I threw the rice, then had an alarmed conversation with myself. I know I have shared that before, but it still entertains and appalls me.

When we got some saggy lettuce in our salads two years ago, we complained a little, which was fine. It was on our next trip when two people specifically requested fresh lettuce that I had a meerkat response. Are you kidding? Are... you kidding?!

Come on now. Are they going to stop mid-handful and say oh no, they want the GOOD lettuce? Go get the GOOD lettuce, Mike.

And I mean, ok- if the entire salad was see-through, you'd have an argument, but that would constitute a lettuce emergency and it likely would never make it to the counter. My boss once requested so many special requests on one cup of coffee that she referred to herself as an entitled old biddy. I found that hilarious and now keep EOB as a handy acronym in these circumstances. Can you imagine working in a fast food restaurant and someone asks for the FRESH lettuce? I can just feel their nostrils slightly flaring.

It's a passive aggressive thing, really- you know they don't have a separate lettuce bucket. You just want them to know they fucked up last time and you'll have your critical eye on things. There are people that I don't like to go to restaurants with because they do this shit. I would like to tell them this, but I'm not sure how. Maybe I can give them the same conversational yet slightly shitty attitude they give the wait staff. One friend got shitty with a fast food employee recently, and I called it out in front of the employee and my friend was shamed into an apology.

I think was surprises me is that people seem to expect perfection anywhere they go. Fast food is a great illustration of that, because it's cheap food quickly- there's a tradeoff! Do you expect to sacrifice nothing? Even at a nicer or nice restaurant, do you expect perfection? Your life must be really awful. I try to think about this when I'm on hold to talk to someone whose job it is to obstruct my mission. Sometimes it feels like that's their job, anyway. It doesn't always work, but customer service jobs suck because we are ALL assholes at one point or another.

My coworker teaches Dr. Martin Luther King's four steps to nonviolent protest. One is self-purification, which involves cleansing yourself of emotions so you can proceed with honest and peaceful intentions. Or at least, that's my current understanding of it. If you are fired up, it's not the right time to address the situation. I didn't like the rage I felt over the rice. I don't like the way I get shitty with people sometimes and I don't like being in the company of people who do it.

The trouble is figuring out how to address it in others and being receptive to signs that indicate you are being a jerk. If I were capable of light humor in the moment, I'd love that. But one thing I've been seeing lately is that when I have the urge to pull away from someone, the answer is usually to pull them closer instead. Maybe seeing my discomfort or witnessing theirs will change our behavior.

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