I just called to make an appointment for a bang trim at the beauty school, and they're booked solid today (which is fair, as it's Saturday), but they're especially booked today because they're closed all next week. I forgot about this, but they close for a week every year during Street Vibrations, which is an annual motorcycle rally here in Reno. The beauty school sits next to a Harley-Davidson dealership, and they learned years ago that there is no point in being open because there is nowhere for clients (let alone students) to park. There are lots of popular hangouts during this event, but of course that's a big one. Street Vibrations can also get a little wild, but most years the police departments are happy to report a relatively low number of arrests. One year there was a fight between the Vagos and the Hells Angels on the main floor inside the Nugget and one of the Hells Angels chapter presidents was shot and killed. That's not nice, but this place was born in the Wild West, and it's nice to see some craziness poke through the Home Depots and Whole Foods sometimes. As with most of our annual events, Renoites either absolutely love or absolutely hate Street Vibrations, but this is a great example of why I am endlessly entertained by and absolutely in love with this big little city.
WELCOME TO OUR BEAUTY SCHOOL
SORRY, CLOSED
for motorcycle rally
Saturday, September 22, 2018
Monday, September 10, 2018
The game
Let's see if this works.
I'm all angry right now because I agreed to play kickball tonight. I'm always relearning that it's never anger but something else, so surely it's just anxiety or some other fear but I feel like this lots of times, like when I have agreed to attend a party- even my own. I usually get ragey in the car on the way there- when no one can judge me- and OH MAN do I wish I was a laid back person sometimes. Is anxiety ever cute? What about irrational anger? Do people always just love you despite who you really are? It catches me off guard when people say I'm nice. No, I promise I'm a judgy asshole. And most of the time I try to keep that on the inside, except that my expressions tell on me.
After the game I will feel better and relieved and sometimes even like a sporty girl. I'll be glad I played in spite of all this- that I can be this anxious and do it anyway. See here's a way I'm going to be a judgy asshole: it's eyebrow raising to me when people say they can't do something because of their social anxiety. It's not a measurable thing and certainly not a comparative thing but here I am with irrational rage and a wobbly stomach over a KICKBALL GAME. But here I am.
Two guys just came out to their cars and were laughing about their game.
"That was ugly!" they laughed.
I've got to take myself less seriously.
Thursday, August 16, 2018
Testing?
The last time I tried this, the universe told me to go write elsewhere and now I have a submission for this year's 95 word fiction contest, so I can't be mad, but I do hope Blogger is not busted.
I'm trying to put my impatience at rest and let Gus have some time to sit in the shade. I miss the little grassy bump where Riley and I used to hang out. I'm going to have some help soon to make a little balcony hangout for Gus and Mini and hopefully give him a place to potty. I thought pee pads, but my friend had an idea about something like sand and omg yes, an outdoor dog box. It can work, I just know it.
Saturday, July 7, 2018
Wings, wags, and washing
I had a pretty nice day. I woke up at 6 and took all the dogs out to pee, then we came back in and went back to bed.
I actually made breakfast AND egg bakes in a muffin tin to take to work with me. I found a recipe online and had most of the ingredients, so I cracked eggs, cut some counter-dried tomatoes, substituted in some milk, crumbled some bacon, picked out the good pieces of spinach from the sagged salad, forgot the cheese and ran out of pepper, but for once they came out of the pan and I have a whole mess of individually contained little egg bakes, so I feel like the healthiest and most prepared person on the planet.
When I finally got dressed, I found a package notice I'd forgotten in a jeans pocket, and made it to the post office before my sensors got returned. I never made tea yesterday (I got hooked on Diet Cokey again, and am trying to reestablish my tea brewing habit), so I went through the Starbucks drive through and got a sweet tea, then parked and walked in to exchange it for something I can drink. Walmart had the 4 gallon trash bags I love so much in lemon scent, and I bought 3 so I won't have to come back to Walmart anytime soon. I swear, I ought to rewrite the lyrics to Ice Cube's It Was A Good Day.
I came home and between yelling at the dogs, I listened to the organization podcast and bustled around, cleaning and vacuuming. The lady downstairs smokes in her apartment, so the refreshing aroma of cigarettes comes in through the vents and I am constantly looking for ways to banish my smoking karma with little plug in smelly things and room spray and the other day I bought a little tealight wax warmer because I found honeysuckle wax cubes. I just love honeysuckle. So that's been my go to smelly lately, when the AC kicks on, the smell comes in, and I start muttering cuss words or yelling them, depending on my mood. I dropped a bacon crumble in the melted wax while making the egg bakes because of course I did- who else has a pool of melted wax on the counter where they're cooking?
So the organization lady got me all fired up talking about productivity, and then she interviewed the Four Tendencies and Happier woman. Both of them together!? I kicked it into high gear. Lisa talked about counting productivity by finished projects, and Gretchen Rubin explained why identifying your inner motivation doesn't work for obligers. It felt good to be told what to focus on, so I narrowed in and finished a few things and felt like I could face Sunday.
I joined friends for Wing Fest and didn't see anyone else I knew, which is weird for Reno, but nice. We ate bad food and watched the tattoos go by. Wing Fest is serious business- there are trophies and all sorts of categories, but the votes were counted earlier in the day and lots of vendors had run out of wingredients. The strawberry cheesecake sauce was long gone. Yes, that's for wings. Chicken wings. Yes, really.
Tomorrow our houseguests will be collected and I will hopefully google how to make protein bars and have another kitchen adventure. This empty table will lure me to start a new puzzle, Netflix has sent me another France related movie, and I'm going to brunch, so tomorrow should be a nice day too.
I actually made breakfast AND egg bakes in a muffin tin to take to work with me. I found a recipe online and had most of the ingredients, so I cracked eggs, cut some counter-dried tomatoes, substituted in some milk, crumbled some bacon, picked out the good pieces of spinach from the sagged salad, forgot the cheese and ran out of pepper, but for once they came out of the pan and I have a whole mess of individually contained little egg bakes, so I feel like the healthiest and most prepared person on the planet.
When I finally got dressed, I found a package notice I'd forgotten in a jeans pocket, and made it to the post office before my sensors got returned. I never made tea yesterday (I got hooked on Diet Cokey again, and am trying to reestablish my tea brewing habit), so I went through the Starbucks drive through and got a sweet tea, then parked and walked in to exchange it for something I can drink. Walmart had the 4 gallon trash bags I love so much in lemon scent, and I bought 3 so I won't have to come back to Walmart anytime soon. I swear, I ought to rewrite the lyrics to Ice Cube's It Was A Good Day.
I came home and between yelling at the dogs, I listened to the organization podcast and bustled around, cleaning and vacuuming. The lady downstairs smokes in her apartment, so the refreshing aroma of cigarettes comes in through the vents and I am constantly looking for ways to banish my smoking karma with little plug in smelly things and room spray and the other day I bought a little tealight wax warmer because I found honeysuckle wax cubes. I just love honeysuckle. So that's been my go to smelly lately, when the AC kicks on, the smell comes in, and I start muttering cuss words or yelling them, depending on my mood. I dropped a bacon crumble in the melted wax while making the egg bakes because of course I did- who else has a pool of melted wax on the counter where they're cooking?
So the organization lady got me all fired up talking about productivity, and then she interviewed the Four Tendencies and Happier woman. Both of them together!? I kicked it into high gear. Lisa talked about counting productivity by finished projects, and Gretchen Rubin explained why identifying your inner motivation doesn't work for obligers. It felt good to be told what to focus on, so I narrowed in and finished a few things and felt like I could face Sunday.
I joined friends for Wing Fest and didn't see anyone else I knew, which is weird for Reno, but nice. We ate bad food and watched the tattoos go by. Wing Fest is serious business- there are trophies and all sorts of categories, but the votes were counted earlier in the day and lots of vendors had run out of wingredients. The strawberry cheesecake sauce was long gone. Yes, that's for wings. Chicken wings. Yes, really.
Tomorrow our houseguests will be collected and I will hopefully google how to make protein bars and have another kitchen adventure. This empty table will lure me to start a new puzzle, Netflix has sent me another France related movie, and I'm going to brunch, so tomorrow should be a nice day too.
Gus has been a gracious host, and I learned how to sling an old dog and take all three of them out for a walk at once. Aha!
Thursday, June 28, 2018
Stay tuned
Well hello!
I haven't been feeling real bloggy lately, so it's exciting to be drawn back here... and of course, Mini is yowling at my feet, asking to be picked up and loved on. I love you, kitty cat, but you're gonna have to wait a minute.
I just had my... fifth? sixth? consecutive Thursday meeting with Ant. He's doing well, and it's good to see him regularly enough to know what's going on in his life. Last Thursday I was off and had no appointments, so we went to breakfast and thrift store shopping, which we hadn't done together in YEARS. He found an alarm clock, a few t-shirts, a framed Einstein picture, and a giant cardboard cutout of a box of popcorn. I found a couple shirts and... several puzzles.
Tonight we went to dinner (I keep meaning to cook, but my weekdays are a mess) and then hit Winco. I needed to go, and he was low on groceries, so I bought him some milk and cereal, bananas, baby carrots, taquitos, and sent him home with half a container of strawberries and half a container of grape tomatoes, since I love both, but never finish a whole container by myself. He helped me pick out crackers for a diabetic get together this weekend, and when we got in line, he went right to the end while I paid. He was trying to organize the groceries into the bags, and he laughed when I was done before he was, saying he was out of practice.
I brought him back here for a minute so I could split the produce and pick up Gus, and Ant found the cat butt tissue holders. He was thrilled and made a Snapchat video of him pulling tissues out and ripping them in the process, because much like with Rudy the Easter Island head tissue box on my wall, you have to be gentle pulling tissues out of a novelty container. A friend responded quickly, asking where the hell Ant got that thing. "It's Jenny's," Ant told him, as this was an old friend from the last couple years before Chris and I split up. "Of course it is," the friend replied, and I cackled.
So I have not been feeling bloggy or particularly good lately- I neglected some medication for a while that I actually need to keep me and my blood sugar level, and I forgot that, which made Night Bus crazy. "How can you forget to take something like that?!?" he asked. Well... I don't really know how to defend it, because I know I have been told of its importance before. It just gets downgraded in my head after a while, so I have to come up with ways of remembering that it's important. Night Bus just sputtered over that statement, and I pointed out that this is one of the many ways I am going to keep a smart guy like him intrigued. Just TRY to follow my train of thought. I will baffle you!
But I am routinely rotating out my morning and night pill containers just how my inner old man druthers, and while I am still tired and saggy, I am more often able to complete an evening without napping on the couch. I'm not doing a whole lot of exercising, but I walk a lot, and I feel confident that my bursts of energy will return. Sarah's been feeding me leftovers for lunch a lot lately, and we eat lots of veggies and low carby things, and I have been eating lots of salad at home.
I'm currently listening to Silent Child, by Sarah A. Denzil, which is apparently an Audible exclusive, and I swear this is not an ad. It's interesting to me, because I started the year reading a lot of books, and suddenly stopped. This is the first one I'm starting up with again, and I love listening to books. I feel so ADD sometimes, and I was always liked coloring while watching a movie. I do enjoy sitting down to read too, but it is nice to walk Gus and listen to a story or be in another place while washing the dishes. So I'm about halfway through this book. It's a thriller, which I don't normally read, but even though I feel like it's pretty clear what's coming, I am still hooked. Maybe I am supposed to feel like it's clear. Regardless, it feels really nice to be caught up in a book again. I will burn right through this one, and I bet I have a small pile of credits now, plus I signed up for the public library app and can borrow books through them for free.
Tomorrow is game night with friends, Saturday there's that diabeetus meetup organized by that person I met in Winco, and Los Lobos is playing at an outdoor park this Sunday night to kick off Artown. Will I go?
I haven't been feeling real bloggy lately, so it's exciting to be drawn back here... and of course, Mini is yowling at my feet, asking to be picked up and loved on. I love you, kitty cat, but you're gonna have to wait a minute.
I just had my... fifth? sixth? consecutive Thursday meeting with Ant. He's doing well, and it's good to see him regularly enough to know what's going on in his life. Last Thursday I was off and had no appointments, so we went to breakfast and thrift store shopping, which we hadn't done together in YEARS. He found an alarm clock, a few t-shirts, a framed Einstein picture, and a giant cardboard cutout of a box of popcorn. I found a couple shirts and... several puzzles.
Tonight we went to dinner (I keep meaning to cook, but my weekdays are a mess) and then hit Winco. I needed to go, and he was low on groceries, so I bought him some milk and cereal, bananas, baby carrots, taquitos, and sent him home with half a container of strawberries and half a container of grape tomatoes, since I love both, but never finish a whole container by myself. He helped me pick out crackers for a diabetic get together this weekend, and when we got in line, he went right to the end while I paid. He was trying to organize the groceries into the bags, and he laughed when I was done before he was, saying he was out of practice.
I brought him back here for a minute so I could split the produce and pick up Gus, and Ant found the cat butt tissue holders. He was thrilled and made a Snapchat video of him pulling tissues out and ripping them in the process, because much like with Rudy the Easter Island head tissue box on my wall, you have to be gentle pulling tissues out of a novelty container. A friend responded quickly, asking where the hell Ant got that thing. "It's Jenny's," Ant told him, as this was an old friend from the last couple years before Chris and I split up. "Of course it is," the friend replied, and I cackled.
So I have not been feeling bloggy or particularly good lately- I neglected some medication for a while that I actually need to keep me and my blood sugar level, and I forgot that, which made Night Bus crazy. "How can you forget to take something like that?!?" he asked. Well... I don't really know how to defend it, because I know I have been told of its importance before. It just gets downgraded in my head after a while, so I have to come up with ways of remembering that it's important. Night Bus just sputtered over that statement, and I pointed out that this is one of the many ways I am going to keep a smart guy like him intrigued. Just TRY to follow my train of thought. I will baffle you!
But I am routinely rotating out my morning and night pill containers just how my inner old man druthers, and while I am still tired and saggy, I am more often able to complete an evening without napping on the couch. I'm not doing a whole lot of exercising, but I walk a lot, and I feel confident that my bursts of energy will return. Sarah's been feeding me leftovers for lunch a lot lately, and we eat lots of veggies and low carby things, and I have been eating lots of salad at home.
I'm currently listening to Silent Child, by Sarah A. Denzil, which is apparently an Audible exclusive, and I swear this is not an ad. It's interesting to me, because I started the year reading a lot of books, and suddenly stopped. This is the first one I'm starting up with again, and I love listening to books. I feel so ADD sometimes, and I was always liked coloring while watching a movie. I do enjoy sitting down to read too, but it is nice to walk Gus and listen to a story or be in another place while washing the dishes. So I'm about halfway through this book. It's a thriller, which I don't normally read, but even though I feel like it's pretty clear what's coming, I am still hooked. Maybe I am supposed to feel like it's clear. Regardless, it feels really nice to be caught up in a book again. I will burn right through this one, and I bet I have a small pile of credits now, plus I signed up for the public library app and can borrow books through them for free.
Tomorrow is game night with friends, Saturday there's that diabeetus meetup organized by that person I met in Winco, and Los Lobos is playing at an outdoor park this Sunday night to kick off Artown. Will I go?
Monday, May 28, 2018
See, I'm still here
Yesterday evening, some poor neighbor hit the gas instead of the brake and ran into the side of the apartment building, breaking both the wall and the gas line. I came home from the grocery store to find the fire department and police and most of the neighborhood checking out the situation. I parked around the corner and walked up, checking in with neighbors along the way. One person said that the kid inside that room had been watching a war movie and thought the sound effects were just spectacular. Everyone seemed in a merry mood except the driver and the maintenance guy.
At the grocery store, I was behind this couple, and they looked back at my cart a few times and offered to let me through ahead of them since they had a lot of stuff. I said it was fine- I had too much for the self-checkout and nowhere to be, so I was good. Plus, our lane had a sign that said "Checker In Training," so no rush indeed. It was his third day and he was so impressed at how many numbers other checkers had memorized. It was nice that we had so much time in line, because I noticed that the woman in front of me had an insulin pump. I could tell because of the tubing, or as my boyfriend Night Bus calls it, the power cord. I saw she had the pump clipped to her back pocket and I was impressed, because when I used the clip, I caught it on everything. I also thought she must be way more graceful than me if she could leave that much slack in the tubing and not catch it on every doorknob in sight. We started talking and as it turns out, she's really connected with the diabetic community, would like some help writing blogs about diabetes, and totally catches her tubing on doorknobs. It was a nice conversation and I'm looking forward to meeting some new people who are dealing with the same things.
Today I am threatening to pull everything out of the combination pantry and hall closet to organize and purge it, but first I need some caffeinated motivation. I brought Gus with me to get some potties and outside time (we've been sitting in the grass) and when we walked towards the carports, Gus stopped at mine and just stared. He looked at the center of the spot, then at the other cars, like "Ok... that one's here... and there's one over there... Where is ours?" Oh god, I love this dog.
Monday, April 2, 2018
Easter egg hunt
I'm sure if I had children, I would put them in fancy outfits and take nice photos of them.
If I had Jesus, I'm sure I would wear a fancy hat and go to church.
Instead I just like colorful hardboiled eggs and giving adults the chance to play.
How many eggs can you find?
Answer below.
I didn't lose any in the pot this time, which is amazing. Usually one cracks right open and gets egg juice everywhere. There are eleven eggs. I think the people counting twelve are looking at the tennis puzzle ball, or maybe they just see other people saying twelve and don't want to look like they missed one.
Saturday, March 31, 2018
Baby tomato blog
The day I got back, I got to help a friend prepare for a Humane Society fundraiser.
Mom likes to see my smiling face sometimes. (And hey, the Shiva shell necklace!)
Gus is an adorable hellion.
My new phone can take pictures without bright sunlight!
My boss went to the Grand Canyon and was showing me their hiking path. I was so impressed that rock slides are so common that they put it on the map.
Ok, so here's what the blog is for. It's a big deal for me to get to the point where I can buy these things, and my income has not changed significantly in four years. I got the first two done around the holidays, which was no easy feat, and I did not see a way to do the last one anytime soon. I've been paying my own way on Dad's plan for a while now, but I leave the upgrades to him. Tracy told him he needed to take a good look at my phone while I was out there this time. He did, and directed me to the Sprint store to see what we could figure out. I got a deal I can afford and a phone that receives all texts and takes nice pictures. I'm excited and grateful and it made me think about my list. I didn't expect to cross that off until late this year at best, and I was proud that I'd crossed off two. Thanks to Dad for sharing his plan with me, thanks to Tracy for speaking up when I wouldn't, and thanks to the universe for taking care of that. ❤
I'm gonna try hiding eggs in a post again. I'll put that up here too.
Friday, March 2, 2018
Snug as a pug in a jug
This has been an interesting week.
First of all, my sister and brother released an album.
Their name is Hearses Don't Hurry, and here's the link to their single:
Gaslight
The album is called Shiver, and is available on iTunes, which is pretty neat.
Hearses Don't Hurry Facebook page
Hearses Don't Hurry Bandcamp page
It's pretty awesome and you should listen to it! This is so neat, Tracy!
Mom and Marty left for France, and I already feel the need to call her and ask stupid questions, but thankfully Tracy is willing to field those for me. They'll be there for a long visit and Tracy and I get to go visit them. If you were hoping to visit them too, that's too bad because they already have enough visits planned, so you'll just have to go and cook yourself an egg!
Sunday I went to see The Dark Crystal with Sarah, who had never seen the movie. She said we should go see it together just because she saw I was excited about it. 💓 It was neat to see the movie in the theater with people of all ages, and to find new appreciation for it from a different perspective.
I had a bunch of interesting meetings on Monday, including one about interesting concepts of trading some job duties. It was neat to see what duties people volunteered for, in addition to what they wanted to get rid of.
My favorite massage therapist is now doing home visits, so she came and worked on my feet for a completely reasonable price and I'm so thrilled to have her back. She's looking for more clients, so let me know if you're interested. What a treat to not have to go anywhere after a massage.
My class was interesting as always, with some neat conversations, and afterwards I ran into many people I don't see often, and they all seemed very happy to see me, which felt really nice. Then I saw my therapist, and talked to her about this frustrating problem of not being able to incorporate information well. I have all the pieces, they just do not seem to connect. I see this as a failing of mine, but she said something kinder and fairer than I had considered. She thinks I keep so many things in my brain at once that I'm bound to drop some, and we talked about how to put some of those down.
Yesterday it was cold and rainy with a threat of snow, and I went to the dentist and was told my teeth look immaculate, which I never thought I'd hear from a dentist ever. I still got my teeth cleaned- no waiver on that. My neighbor got to the laundry room before me and thwarted my evening plans so I was free to meet A&N for sushi. I even managed to avoid hyperglycemia.
I got a one hour weather delay for work today, and felt like I accomplished a lot, even though there's a lot more to go. I asked to work late, but my boss said the roads were too bad already and sent me home with an invitation to come in if I'd like to this weekend.
One of the maintenance guys came by today and completed my workorder list:
It's been snowing nonstop for hours and I was happy to reschedule dinner with friends rather than potentially wreck my car, so I sat at home and watched a movie, did laundry, and cooked my own dinner.
Gus had a really hard day today. His adoptive mom wouldn't let him eat the freshly hawked up hairball on the carpet, and then she made him go pee in the wet snow. Midway through his daily nap, he was woken up for what he thought would be a long walk in the sun, but instead was put into the evil car and driven to the vet. He tried to hide under his mom's arm, but he got a shot anyway. Then he came home in the evil car and found a strange person working in the bathroom. That freaked him out a little, but then the smoke detectors were making a really loud, scary noise and that was worse. Later, his mean mom carried him way out into the snow and wouldn't let him come back in until he pooped. He finally got to eat dinner, but not as much as he wanted, and he gets stabbed in the neck every time he eats anyway. After dinner, he was curled up all comfy on the couch when the cat started batting his nose. He doesn't like being picked up, he doesn't like the car, and he doesn't like the snow, and he had to deal with that unpleasantness all day. As a final humiliation, he was sleeping soundly in his comfy spot when he was woken up, carried outside, and put directly into deep snow because his mom didn't realize how deep it was, and then she laughed at him and carried him further out to a spot where you could still see the ground.
Thankfully, now he's safe and warm and in for the night, and looking forward to better adventures tomorrow.
First of all, my sister and brother released an album.
Their name is Hearses Don't Hurry, and here's the link to their single:
Gaslight
The album is called Shiver, and is available on iTunes, which is pretty neat.
Hearses Don't Hurry Facebook page
Hearses Don't Hurry Bandcamp page
It's pretty awesome and you should listen to it! This is so neat, Tracy!
Mom and Marty left for France, and I already feel the need to call her and ask stupid questions, but thankfully Tracy is willing to field those for me. They'll be there for a long visit and Tracy and I get to go visit them. If you were hoping to visit them too, that's too bad because they already have enough visits planned, so you'll just have to go and cook yourself an egg!
Sunday I went to see The Dark Crystal with Sarah, who had never seen the movie. She said we should go see it together just because she saw I was excited about it. 💓 It was neat to see the movie in the theater with people of all ages, and to find new appreciation for it from a different perspective.
I had a bunch of interesting meetings on Monday, including one about interesting concepts of trading some job duties. It was neat to see what duties people volunteered for, in addition to what they wanted to get rid of.
My favorite massage therapist is now doing home visits, so she came and worked on my feet for a completely reasonable price and I'm so thrilled to have her back. She's looking for more clients, so let me know if you're interested. What a treat to not have to go anywhere after a massage.
My class was interesting as always, with some neat conversations, and afterwards I ran into many people I don't see often, and they all seemed very happy to see me, which felt really nice. Then I saw my therapist, and talked to her about this frustrating problem of not being able to incorporate information well. I have all the pieces, they just do not seem to connect. I see this as a failing of mine, but she said something kinder and fairer than I had considered. She thinks I keep so many things in my brain at once that I'm bound to drop some, and we talked about how to put some of those down.
Yesterday it was cold and rainy with a threat of snow, and I went to the dentist and was told my teeth look immaculate, which I never thought I'd hear from a dentist ever. I still got my teeth cleaned- no waiver on that. My neighbor got to the laundry room before me and thwarted my evening plans so I was free to meet A&N for sushi. I even managed to avoid hyperglycemia.
I got a one hour weather delay for work today, and felt like I accomplished a lot, even though there's a lot more to go. I asked to work late, but my boss said the roads were too bad already and sent me home with an invitation to come in if I'd like to this weekend.
One of the maintenance guys came by today and completed my workorder list:
- Tighten the shower faucet
- Unclog the bathroom sink
- Replace the bathroom light bulbs
- Change the smoke detector batteries
- Change the air filter
- Retrieve the chocolate bar that fell between the oven and the counter
It's been snowing nonstop for hours and I was happy to reschedule dinner with friends rather than potentially wreck my car, so I sat at home and watched a movie, did laundry, and cooked my own dinner.
Gus had a really hard day today. His adoptive mom wouldn't let him eat the freshly hawked up hairball on the carpet, and then she made him go pee in the wet snow. Midway through his daily nap, he was woken up for what he thought would be a long walk in the sun, but instead was put into the evil car and driven to the vet. He tried to hide under his mom's arm, but he got a shot anyway. Then he came home in the evil car and found a strange person working in the bathroom. That freaked him out a little, but then the smoke detectors were making a really loud, scary noise and that was worse. Later, his mean mom carried him way out into the snow and wouldn't let him come back in until he pooped. He finally got to eat dinner, but not as much as he wanted, and he gets stabbed in the neck every time he eats anyway. After dinner, he was curled up all comfy on the couch when the cat started batting his nose. He doesn't like being picked up, he doesn't like the car, and he doesn't like the snow, and he had to deal with that unpleasantness all day. As a final humiliation, he was sleeping soundly in his comfy spot when he was woken up, carried outside, and put directly into deep snow because his mom didn't realize how deep it was, and then she laughed at him and carried him further out to a spot where you could still see the ground.
Thankfully, now he's safe and warm and in for the night, and looking forward to better adventures tomorrow.
Tuesday, January 30, 2018
Nevermind
I climbed all the way up there and rang the bell. Then I climbed up the next one over and rang that bell too. I'm so impressed with myself right now, but I need to go take ibuprofen and a bath before my muscles figure out what I did.
Something new
I am so excited to tell you that we are not playing kickball again this year. Lots of disclaimers, yes, but it felt almost as anxiety-inducing as softball after a while, and it didn't help that most of the teams were ridiculously competitive. I would think they could scale it back and let us play a little once they had a ten point lead, but no- all their fun came in slaughtering us. As I complained about last year, there were a good number of these teams that consisted of 6 or 7 athletic guys and the league minimum of 3 girls. Some of those girls could and would kick, but a seriously sad number of them only did weenie bunts. It was also not giving me a whole lot of exercise, but it was a good source of pulled muscles. To hell with diamond shaped "recreational" leagues. Give me some friendly drunken barbecue Wiffle Ball.
So guess what I'm going to do tonight?
Sarah got us a rock climbing lesson. Oh god. I'm starting to wonder if there is anything I have no anxiety over that other people dread. If you know of any, please tell me to make me feel better. I am not looking forward to this, but it's a class for women and beginners. Apparently we're going to spend a while tying knots, but it's a 2 hour class. I'm going to feel so much better about this tomorrow, but I'm going!
So guess what I'm going to do tonight?
Sarah got us a rock climbing lesson. Oh god. I'm starting to wonder if there is anything I have no anxiety over that other people dread. If you know of any, please tell me to make me feel better. I am not looking forward to this, but it's a class for women and beginners. Apparently we're going to spend a while tying knots, but it's a 2 hour class. I'm going to feel so much better about this tomorrow, but I'm going!
Friday, January 26, 2018
Leaving some room
It does make me sad. But I think that's a good thing.
I normally have it tucked away somewhere in the back, and I really don't take it out that often to think or talk about it. It is hard at some points, but those moments allow me to honor what's there. I let go for a moment by myself, and just let it hurt. Then I put it back down and keep going- genuinely ok.
I normally have it tucked away somewhere in the back, and I really don't take it out that often to think or talk about it. It is hard at some points, but those moments allow me to honor what's there. I let go for a moment by myself, and just let it hurt. Then I put it back down and keep going- genuinely ok.
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
Less poopy
I just want to come back here and tell you that things are better. It helps so much to be able to vent and see a little perspective and make myself laugh, but also I went to the doctor and I didn't even have to be patiently insistent- I just asked for what I needed and got it. It worked out in a way that it shouldn't have, maybe, because it seems like the stars just aligned, but they were very kind and helpful and I am ridiculously grateful.
I came home from that to walk Gus before I went to work and he pooped another puddle, but there was a... well, I'll spare you, but let's say a glimmer of poo hope. Then I went to work and was a busy little bee and that felt nice. I worked and worked and then at about 20 min to go, my blood sugar hit the floor. I had to have a bunch of sugar and got an instant migraine. I came home, took Gus out, then the animals and I curled up in bed and I dreamt of a bunch of sea lions all happily piled up in a pen. I don't know why they were happy.
I got up to find that I still have the headache, and I had to make Gus food for tomorrow, so this time I made two pounds worth of ground turkey. I have been doing this so much that I have gotten really good at eyeballing the amount of water needed for the rice. This time I made 3 times what I normally do and got it perfect! Well, rice may not be a perfectly measurable thing. This is important to me because I am not normally that good with spatial intelligence tasks.
Also today, I got encouraged to pursue some resources to help with the poopy coworker. That, along with the book I'm being asked to read, ties in beautifully with this need for assertiveness that I was writing about yesterday. I mentioned this to my nonpoopy coworker, and he told me he thought I was very good at being assertive. How nice is that? I'm not, but I'm glad it at least looks that way sometimes.
This is probably a really boring blog, and I'm sure yesterday's wasn't much better, but man... this is just a rough time! Even the good stress is still stress, and I am longing to sit in the sun with a book, like I used to do with Riley when I got home from work. We don't even have weather, just cold, and sometimes wet and windy. I should not ask for snow, but the obligatory Reno resident motto is that we need it. Then you have to clarify that "We don't need snow down here, we need it in the mountains."
So I had this great idea about how to help a friend and I was busy beating myself up for not thinking of it sooner, and I was going to try to figure it out tonight and had to just stop and try to reason with myself. It's better late than never, and you probably shouldn't make yourself a pest in the process, so just chilllll and do it as soon as you have time and no migraines. It will be welcome and helpful when it happens.
Tomorrow is my class and I was actually thinking about that walking to my apartment when a neighbor asked if I am a teacher. I had no idea how to answer that, and when I see her tomorrow I will talk to her more. I know I wanted to be a teacher when I was little, but I always thought that was because I had a limited understanding of the options. It's funny how things come around. I am already excited about this class and what we can do in it, even though I have been feeling stressed about teaching it again. I think I just feel like it's time to do something new, but this morning, one of my former students left her desk and walked all the way around to come out and hug me. She recently started this job and says it's thanks to me and this class. I automatically reject those statements, but it is so cool to see people do what they never thought they would, regardless of why.
Tomorrow we're talking about goals, stress, life, and mindfulness. I have some things in mind and I am so excited. This will be fun, and I will be well rested and headache free. I also have a yoga teacher in there with me, ready to do some mindfulness exercises. How cool is that? Don't worry, we will be burning through the concrete stuff soon enough, but we've been restructuring the class to talk about goals and move towards them all the time. I know what mine is, but one of the biggest things that's surrounding me right now is enduring and even embracing discomfort. Because- damn, what else is there to do?
I came home from that to walk Gus before I went to work and he pooped another puddle, but there was a... well, I'll spare you, but let's say a glimmer of poo hope. Then I went to work and was a busy little bee and that felt nice. I worked and worked and then at about 20 min to go, my blood sugar hit the floor. I had to have a bunch of sugar and got an instant migraine. I came home, took Gus out, then the animals and I curled up in bed and I dreamt of a bunch of sea lions all happily piled up in a pen. I don't know why they were happy.
I got up to find that I still have the headache, and I had to make Gus food for tomorrow, so this time I made two pounds worth of ground turkey. I have been doing this so much that I have gotten really good at eyeballing the amount of water needed for the rice. This time I made 3 times what I normally do and got it perfect! Well, rice may not be a perfectly measurable thing. This is important to me because I am not normally that good with spatial intelligence tasks.
Also today, I got encouraged to pursue some resources to help with the poopy coworker. That, along with the book I'm being asked to read, ties in beautifully with this need for assertiveness that I was writing about yesterday. I mentioned this to my nonpoopy coworker, and he told me he thought I was very good at being assertive. How nice is that? I'm not, but I'm glad it at least looks that way sometimes.
This is probably a really boring blog, and I'm sure yesterday's wasn't much better, but man... this is just a rough time! Even the good stress is still stress, and I am longing to sit in the sun with a book, like I used to do with Riley when I got home from work. We don't even have weather, just cold, and sometimes wet and windy. I should not ask for snow, but the obligatory Reno resident motto is that we need it. Then you have to clarify that "We don't need snow down here, we need it in the mountains."
So I had this great idea about how to help a friend and I was busy beating myself up for not thinking of it sooner, and I was going to try to figure it out tonight and had to just stop and try to reason with myself. It's better late than never, and you probably shouldn't make yourself a pest in the process, so just chilllll and do it as soon as you have time and no migraines. It will be welcome and helpful when it happens.
Tomorrow is my class and I was actually thinking about that walking to my apartment when a neighbor asked if I am a teacher. I had no idea how to answer that, and when I see her tomorrow I will talk to her more. I know I wanted to be a teacher when I was little, but I always thought that was because I had a limited understanding of the options. It's funny how things come around. I am already excited about this class and what we can do in it, even though I have been feeling stressed about teaching it again. I think I just feel like it's time to do something new, but this morning, one of my former students left her desk and walked all the way around to come out and hug me. She recently started this job and says it's thanks to me and this class. I automatically reject those statements, but it is so cool to see people do what they never thought they would, regardless of why.
Tomorrow we're talking about goals, stress, life, and mindfulness. I have some things in mind and I am so excited. This will be fun, and I will be well rested and headache free. I also have a yoga teacher in there with me, ready to do some mindfulness exercises. How cool is that? Don't worry, we will be burning through the concrete stuff soon enough, but we've been restructuring the class to talk about goals and move towards them all the time. I know what mine is, but one of the biggest things that's surrounding me right now is enduring and even embracing discomfort. Because- damn, what else is there to do?
Monday, January 22, 2018
More dog shit and cat vomit
I am going to lose my mind.
I adopted this sweet little guy whose disposition never changes. He has no concept of shame and you can't point at the pee and get loud because he'll just think you might have food in your hand. He is sweet to the cat even when she's an asshole, and he's just the most lovable little thing I've ever met. It is impossible for this to be some kind of shitty tradeoff.
He has been having unhappy poos for what must be two months now. He has been through two rounds of antibiotics, one round of probiotics, blood work, fecal screening, two different kibbles, and homemade meals. Do you know how hard it is to keep up with homemade meals every day for two months? I don't even do that for myself. Not even close.
The vet told me the next step was a $260 ultrasound to see if he has stomach cancer. Stomach cancer! He was fine! Not only that, but after I balked at that, I switched his homemade meals from chicken and white rice to turkey and white rice and he pooped normally! So great! There's the problem! So I took the unopened bag of chicken kibble back to PetSmart and traded it in for turkey kibble, started giving him a little of that, and... we're back to explosive shit puddles. I am going to lose my mind.
It's clearly food, right? Maybe grain?
Ugh. I'm so frustrated. I am going to try to take him back to the vet and maybe get a little more vocal. I know my vet thinks I'm an idiot, but the joke's on you if you became a vet because you like animals better than people. Nobody likes me at first- I'm used to that. I'll eventually win you over. But how the fuck are you going to tell me we should start with an expensive ultrasound before giving him some different food? And if there's Immodium for people, surely there's something for dogs! Maybe I'm not making my point clear enough. That's happened at work too. I have taken so much shit that I am being treated like I deserve it. Not by everyone- no. By that one jerk who's always sure it's somebody else who's being a jerk.
Someone else told me today that there's no money for the new position. It's hard to tell if they have actual news or if it's still the same news, because this is one of those people who cannot say "I don't know," so they just keep talking. And while I'm at it, I'm having a mysterious health problem and I'm having a stupid delay getting seen. I'm about to get loud over there too. And my sweetie just left for another several weeks. He'll be gone longer than he was here, which is part of the deal right now. So alright- that's it! I'm going to crack up and- oh, wait. I forgot the thing that nearly made me insane yesterday: my wifi is having severe difficulty connecting with my devices. This was a sudden yet continuing development. I will ask for help if that doesn't fix itself very fast- maybe see if Ant or a friend can help, and then I will suffer through AT&T's technical support line.
I am not fond of January. I'm tired, broke, flabby, and pasty. I've got a diabetic dog who is always hungry and cannot have treats. I've got a cat with a broken tooth and thyroid disease. I have the most amazing, sweet, wonderful boyfriend who works all the time. But these busted individuals make a loving little family, and they are my heart. I haven't written anything in a long time and I feel like I just keep stressing and gluing things back together and the glue doesn't have time to set before I have to glue something else on. I have a reset in mind, and I'm going to start by turning on Forensic Files to go to sleep because I like the monotone and I am slightly morbid.
This guy. I'm telling you, this guy. I don't know what to call him here, and I don't know if I've shared his name already. I don't know how he feels about his presence here, and I mean to ask but we don't get a lot of time together and there's a million things we try to talk about in those minutes. He might be gone a lot and working all the time, but it is so far past worth it that I can't even explain. That time we have together is precious, and I feel loved and heard and cherished. He's horribly interesting and funny and ridiculously smart. He's caring and honest and he cooks amazing meals that he could never replicate and he pours pepper on everything and he interrupts a lot and he brings me these amazing little gifts that remind him of conversations we had or that he thinks I'll like and this like many things are things I have always wanted and sometimes even tried to articulate. Right after the breakup with Chris, I had a doctor's appointment and I was so sad that I was crying as soon as he closed the door. He'd been my doctor for years and after talking a little about the whole sad thing, he told me to find someone who cherished me at least as much as my dad does. I feel like I have that and I am floored by what he offers. He says that he has to be this sweet to make up for how much he's gone and I say, "so you aren't like this for real?" and he says of course he is like this, it was just a 6 am joke, and those aren't very good. He drives like the night bus, and when he cooks, he makes half of the meal vegetables because that's what I need. He adores cookies and beef jerky and he takes Gus out for long walks. Mini adores him. Gus will too, but for right now he's only sure that I'm his person, and past that he only cares about food.
I feel lucky, but he says he is the lucky one, and that's how the two of us are in this crazy place of being together and still very much in our own lives. We just went to see Star Wars- he made this crazy trip home from work to meet me and went straight back afterwards. I got a big tub of popcorn and a Diet Coke because that's what I can have, and we sat down as the movie's on and he started telling me about the characters! He knows that I watch movies with subtitles on to absorb the plot and he knows that I don't know or care much about Star Wars, so he wanted me to know what was happening. Sweetheart, darling, love, honey, knuddelbär... stop it. He likes rubber chickens and he actually had the cup with a face on it that I wanted to buy when I was in high school- the egg separator where you pour the egg white out through the nostrils. I am amazed and enthralled at how weird and wonderful this guy is. How can my heart resist?
So I'm gonna go take some more deep breaths, rinse the last bits of dog poop out of the litter mat, take a shower and climb into my nice, warm, foamy bed. January sucks a lot, but Gus and Mini are asking for cuddles, and my non-furloughed job is waiting in the morning. Things are fine. Sometimes they are poopy, but overall we're doing pretty good.
I adopted this sweet little guy whose disposition never changes. He has no concept of shame and you can't point at the pee and get loud because he'll just think you might have food in your hand. He is sweet to the cat even when she's an asshole, and he's just the most lovable little thing I've ever met. It is impossible for this to be some kind of shitty tradeoff.
He has been having unhappy poos for what must be two months now. He has been through two rounds of antibiotics, one round of probiotics, blood work, fecal screening, two different kibbles, and homemade meals. Do you know how hard it is to keep up with homemade meals every day for two months? I don't even do that for myself. Not even close.
The vet told me the next step was a $260 ultrasound to see if he has stomach cancer. Stomach cancer! He was fine! Not only that, but after I balked at that, I switched his homemade meals from chicken and white rice to turkey and white rice and he pooped normally! So great! There's the problem! So I took the unopened bag of chicken kibble back to PetSmart and traded it in for turkey kibble, started giving him a little of that, and... we're back to explosive shit puddles. I am going to lose my mind.
It's clearly food, right? Maybe grain?
Ugh. I'm so frustrated. I am going to try to take him back to the vet and maybe get a little more vocal. I know my vet thinks I'm an idiot, but the joke's on you if you became a vet because you like animals better than people. Nobody likes me at first- I'm used to that. I'll eventually win you over. But how the fuck are you going to tell me we should start with an expensive ultrasound before giving him some different food? And if there's Immodium for people, surely there's something for dogs! Maybe I'm not making my point clear enough. That's happened at work too. I have taken so much shit that I am being treated like I deserve it. Not by everyone- no. By that one jerk who's always sure it's somebody else who's being a jerk.
Someone else told me today that there's no money for the new position. It's hard to tell if they have actual news or if it's still the same news, because this is one of those people who cannot say "I don't know," so they just keep talking. And while I'm at it, I'm having a mysterious health problem and I'm having a stupid delay getting seen. I'm about to get loud over there too. And my sweetie just left for another several weeks. He'll be gone longer than he was here, which is part of the deal right now. So alright- that's it! I'm going to crack up and- oh, wait. I forgot the thing that nearly made me insane yesterday: my wifi is having severe difficulty connecting with my devices. This was a sudden yet continuing development. I will ask for help if that doesn't fix itself very fast- maybe see if Ant or a friend can help, and then I will suffer through AT&T's technical support line.
I am not fond of January. I'm tired, broke, flabby, and pasty. I've got a diabetic dog who is always hungry and cannot have treats. I've got a cat with a broken tooth and thyroid disease. I have the most amazing, sweet, wonderful boyfriend who works all the time. But these busted individuals make a loving little family, and they are my heart. I haven't written anything in a long time and I feel like I just keep stressing and gluing things back together and the glue doesn't have time to set before I have to glue something else on. I have a reset in mind, and I'm going to start by turning on Forensic Files to go to sleep because I like the monotone and I am slightly morbid.
This guy. I'm telling you, this guy. I don't know what to call him here, and I don't know if I've shared his name already. I don't know how he feels about his presence here, and I mean to ask but we don't get a lot of time together and there's a million things we try to talk about in those minutes. He might be gone a lot and working all the time, but it is so far past worth it that I can't even explain. That time we have together is precious, and I feel loved and heard and cherished. He's horribly interesting and funny and ridiculously smart. He's caring and honest and he cooks amazing meals that he could never replicate and he pours pepper on everything and he interrupts a lot and he brings me these amazing little gifts that remind him of conversations we had or that he thinks I'll like and this like many things are things I have always wanted and sometimes even tried to articulate. Right after the breakup with Chris, I had a doctor's appointment and I was so sad that I was crying as soon as he closed the door. He'd been my doctor for years and after talking a little about the whole sad thing, he told me to find someone who cherished me at least as much as my dad does. I feel like I have that and I am floored by what he offers. He says that he has to be this sweet to make up for how much he's gone and I say, "so you aren't like this for real?" and he says of course he is like this, it was just a 6 am joke, and those aren't very good. He drives like the night bus, and when he cooks, he makes half of the meal vegetables because that's what I need. He adores cookies and beef jerky and he takes Gus out for long walks. Mini adores him. Gus will too, but for right now he's only sure that I'm his person, and past that he only cares about food.
I feel lucky, but he says he is the lucky one, and that's how the two of us are in this crazy place of being together and still very much in our own lives. We just went to see Star Wars- he made this crazy trip home from work to meet me and went straight back afterwards. I got a big tub of popcorn and a Diet Coke because that's what I can have, and we sat down as the movie's on and he started telling me about the characters! He knows that I watch movies with subtitles on to absorb the plot and he knows that I don't know or care much about Star Wars, so he wanted me to know what was happening. Sweetheart, darling, love, honey, knuddelbär... stop it. He likes rubber chickens and he actually had the cup with a face on it that I wanted to buy when I was in high school- the egg separator where you pour the egg white out through the nostrils. I am amazed and enthralled at how weird and wonderful this guy is. How can my heart resist?
So I'm gonna go take some more deep breaths, rinse the last bits of dog poop out of the litter mat, take a shower and climb into my nice, warm, foamy bed. January sucks a lot, but Gus and Mini are asking for cuddles, and my non-furloughed job is waiting in the morning. Things are fine. Sometimes they are poopy, but overall we're doing pretty good.
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