Ant just brought me a form to sign for 6th grade band.
"My first choice is trumpet, my second choice is trombone."
"How about the recorder?" I asked. Good grief! I have to buy a trumpet? I looked at the form and asked him why he wanted trumpet. It's not much of a mystery, really. The options are flute, clarinet, trumpet, and trombone. The last man I saw playing a flute was Ron Burgundy. Even the clarinet is kind of girly.
"Well, that's what Daddy said..."
Am I insane or overreacting if I am seriously annoyed that this was decided without me? I am not the only one who brings in money, but I am the one who handles the finances. Great! I asked Ant what was wrong with the choir.
"I don't like to sing."
"Yeah, but your voice is free."
Arg arg arg. Honestly, I don't give a shit if he plays the tuba, but I am royally annoyed that I was left out of this conversation.
I am having a "Goddammit, Chris" kind of day. I am also having a "What the hell am I doing with this paper" kind of day. I don't even know what the hell I am talking about, but I am very convincing in my argument.
What's due tomorrow is a rough draft and I would feel better about what I'm writing if it made any sense to me. My teacher says all my papers start off a mess (my words, not hers) and come together by page 3. What I have here instead is a really cohesive effort spent on pages 1 and 2. And I mean cohesive like organization, not cohesive like the argument fits together. Not yet, anyway. I don't even know if this will fly because there isn't much method involved. YET! Just not yet.
I just talked to Chris briefly about the instrument thing- he said it was a very brief conversation. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. This is more of Ant telling us what the deal is. He confirms this information with himself. It's just like when the boys came back from the river and I drove Bubba home. Ant came with me and told me all about how Daddy said he's spending all next weekend at Bubba's while I'm gone. Later on I overhear Chris talking to Elaine about her coming up here and I ask wait, why did you say Bubba's?
"I didn't tell him that," Chris says.
Either I automatically question everything that comes out of Ant's mouth and he gets mad at me or I believe him and find out that he's just dictating everything again.
"Why do you keep trying to tell everybody what's going on?" I asked Ant.
"It makes me feel older," he said.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
The kind of amusement that gets old quickly
I actually thought I would make progress on my paper tonight.
I am hosting Bubba for what I thought was one night but they have informed me that Bubba is actually staying all weekend. I am waiting for confirmation on that, but it would be interesting to be the last one to find out. I am already not amused. If that's the case, I think Chris will be getting them out of my hair for several hours tomorrow so I can do homework.
I think it's a lost cause tonight, but maybe I can conk out, wake up early tomorrow, and get some work done before anyone else is up.
I just got interrupted again because Ant was digging through Chris's studio. He's looking for the TV that was once in his room so they could watch a movie. As I called to the boys, Bubba answered:
"Yes, Mother that I always wish I had but can't?"
Now I can only sit here in silence, contemplating that comment. Okay, it's not in silence- who am I kidding, there are two boys who only stop moving when asleep. But wow...
Of course, when he said that, my heart melted and I went to hug him and tell him I love him.
"I know," he said. "Everyone loves me who knows me."
Then I walked into Ant's room and had a minor coronary.
"Fix this. Fix this now."
They cleaned up the avalanche, I brought in the TV, made popcorn. I have my water and
Goddammit, I keep getting interrupted.
I spent the evening listening to these boys talk about zombies. This is a serious discussion that includes periodic slapping and violent sound effects.
"How many zombies can you kill, max?" asks Bubba.
"Probably forty," says Ant.
I really don't get people's fascination with zombies. Tonight I realized it must be that everyday people stand a chance against a zombie, as opposed to a vampire or werewolf or whatever other nonexistent creatures... we may... end up fighting some day? I am still confused on that part of the fascination, obviously.
I took them to get a movie and cheap pizza and had this conversation:
"Jenny, how late can we stay up?"
"What do you think I'm going to say?"
"Four?"
"What? No, what do you think I'M going to say."
"Oh, wait. You don't care how late we stay up as long as we're quiet."
"Bingo."
During dinner, Ant starting imitating the MadTV "Can I Have Your Number?" skit, which some people find hilarious. He kept it up for a full half hour and Bubba kept telling him to stop. When that didn't work, Bubba would start slapping him in the face. Then they would wrestle and screech like monkeys. Whenever they'd stop wrestling, they'd giggle and catch their breath. Then Ant would turn to Bubba and say:
"Can I have your number?"
I am hosting Bubba for what I thought was one night but they have informed me that Bubba is actually staying all weekend. I am waiting for confirmation on that, but it would be interesting to be the last one to find out. I am already not amused. If that's the case, I think Chris will be getting them out of my hair for several hours tomorrow so I can do homework.
I think it's a lost cause tonight, but maybe I can conk out, wake up early tomorrow, and get some work done before anyone else is up.
I just got interrupted again because Ant was digging through Chris's studio. He's looking for the TV that was once in his room so they could watch a movie. As I called to the boys, Bubba answered:
"Yes, Mother that I always wish I had but can't?"
Now I can only sit here in silence, contemplating that comment. Okay, it's not in silence- who am I kidding, there are two boys who only stop moving when asleep. But wow...
Of course, when he said that, my heart melted and I went to hug him and tell him I love him.
"I know," he said. "Everyone loves me who knows me."
Then I walked into Ant's room and had a minor coronary.
"Fix this. Fix this now."
They cleaned up the avalanche, I brought in the TV, made popcorn. I have my water and
Goddammit, I keep getting interrupted.
I spent the evening listening to these boys talk about zombies. This is a serious discussion that includes periodic slapping and violent sound effects.
"How many zombies can you kill, max?" asks Bubba.
"Probably forty," says Ant.
I really don't get people's fascination with zombies. Tonight I realized it must be that everyday people stand a chance against a zombie, as opposed to a vampire or werewolf or whatever other nonexistent creatures... we may... end up fighting some day? I am still confused on that part of the fascination, obviously.
I took them to get a movie and cheap pizza and had this conversation:
"Jenny, how late can we stay up?"
"What do you think I'm going to say?"
"Four?"
"What? No, what do you think I'M going to say."
"Oh, wait. You don't care how late we stay up as long as we're quiet."
"Bingo."
During dinner, Ant starting imitating the MadTV "Can I Have Your Number?" skit, which some people find hilarious. He kept it up for a full half hour and Bubba kept telling him to stop. When that didn't work, Bubba would start slapping him in the face. Then they would wrestle and screech like monkeys. Whenever they'd stop wrestling, they'd giggle and catch their breath. Then Ant would turn to Bubba and say:
"Can I have your number?"
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Let's pretend like I'm not procrastinating.
I am trying to find the motivation to write my rough draft. I only finished the book this afternoon and now I need to write a paper about it. Each week it gets harder to keep up. I volunteered to bring the food this week, since TWO finished papers are due next week. I'm baking zucchini bread and I'm already exhausted. I haven't missed class at all this term and now is sounding like a really good time. :D No, I'll finish this and I'll go. I already know I'll have an A in this class because I'm there every day, I've gotten A's on everything so far, and I participate a lot in class. Sometimes I wonder if I have room to slack and still get an A. I could use a nap day.
I will be starting dinner soon. It's a good thing because I am hungry. Why, yes I am putting off going back to my paper! Ughhhhhh. Before I forget, I do want to tell you that I told my boss my last day would be next Wednesday and he said they'd been discussing it and decided I should put in a new contract anyway. He said they wouldn't count on me and I would not need to provide a schedule- I can work when and if I have time. They just thought I should leave that option open in case I end up with more time than I expect. Besides, they sometimes need help for events on weekends and evenings and maybe I could help with that. I am really grateful that they are welcoming me to stay- even though it won't benefit them much. I have the warm fuzzies.
I will be starting dinner soon. It's a good thing because I am hungry. Why, yes I am putting off going back to my paper! Ughhhhhh. Before I forget, I do want to tell you that I told my boss my last day would be next Wednesday and he said they'd been discussing it and decided I should put in a new contract anyway. He said they wouldn't count on me and I would not need to provide a schedule- I can work when and if I have time. They just thought I should leave that option open in case I end up with more time than I expect. Besides, they sometimes need help for events on weekends and evenings and maybe I could help with that. I am really grateful that they are welcoming me to stay- even though it won't benefit them much. I have the warm fuzzies.
Monday, August 1, 2011
...it is also informally known as "Jennyway"
So Ant is finally home. I got a little upset at the airport when only one of us was allowed past security to meet him at the gate. I was banished to the Wicked Stepmother Waiting Area. Sniffle.
We went to his school to buy his uniform shirts, meet his teacher, and pick up his supply list. This is the first school year that we didn't need a list.
"Two binders, two notebooks, and a pencil," she said. Whew!
We went to locate the items and some more dark blue Dickies at Wal-Mart. Pant selection was thin, so we'll be scouting this week. We came home to work on our individual projects: Ant unpacked and picked up all the caca off his floor, I bathed Riley and tried to burn through the novel that must be read and responded to by Wednesday morning, Chris worked on whatever the hell he's doing in his room. It was almost 8 by the time Ant was done. We dragged Chris away and took the dogs to the park. Chris threw the monster for Jasmine while Riley and I walked the loop. She met four little doggies. We hit Little Caesar's on the way home for some cheap pizza.
We talked over dinner about the new objects in the living room like the crazy little monkey I found at a thrift store. I must get a picture of that for you. Ant said he'd also seen the "cactuses." Chris and I looked at each other. Huh? Ant went over and picked up my unfinished-but-fired-anyway hands from the Ceramics class. Chris and I looked at each other again with wide eyes and furrowed brows. One of them might be unfinished, but it is quite obviously a hand.
"See?" Ant asked. "They're cactuses. This one is a cactus and the other one looks like one of those rollie things that rolls through the desert."
Tell me you don't REALLY want to see them now. Don't worry, I'm getting there. I just have to FINISH THIS FRIGGING CLASS FIRST! We have two papers to go- one is the regular deal where we do a workshop on Thursday and turn in the final draft on Monday, but the last one is due on a Thursday! Allow me to translate: That means one 5-7 page paper is due on Monday and a 6-8 page paper is due that Thursday! AND the last paper is accompanied by a PRESENTATION! If that isn't crazy enough, the last paper is using a CRITICISM THAT WE HAVE TO MAKE UP OURSELF! If you have any ideas for that, incidentally, pass them along. I would probably be a lot more interested in that. Maybe I should create tangental criticism. Ha ha ha hmmm. I might be onto something.
OH and (Sorry for the yelling, but I had a beer with din-din. It makes me louder than usual.) I remembered during dinner that I want to take Ant to the yo-yo competition in wherever the hell I read about that. I googled random yo-yo related things until I found the yo-yo museum in Chico, California. That is where I used to go with my crazy boys at Edwards to visit John's family. It was 8 hours from Edwards but only 2 hours from here! I'm planning to take him this year and I wrote it all over the calendar. That seems really crucial to me.
We went to his school to buy his uniform shirts, meet his teacher, and pick up his supply list. This is the first school year that we didn't need a list.
"Two binders, two notebooks, and a pencil," she said. Whew!
We went to locate the items and some more dark blue Dickies at Wal-Mart. Pant selection was thin, so we'll be scouting this week. We came home to work on our individual projects: Ant unpacked and picked up all the caca off his floor, I bathed Riley and tried to burn through the novel that must be read and responded to by Wednesday morning, Chris worked on whatever the hell he's doing in his room. It was almost 8 by the time Ant was done. We dragged Chris away and took the dogs to the park. Chris threw the monster for Jasmine while Riley and I walked the loop. She met four little doggies. We hit Little Caesar's on the way home for some cheap pizza.
We talked over dinner about the new objects in the living room like the crazy little monkey I found at a thrift store. I must get a picture of that for you. Ant said he'd also seen the "cactuses." Chris and I looked at each other. Huh? Ant went over and picked up my unfinished-but-fired-anyway hands from the Ceramics class. Chris and I looked at each other again with wide eyes and furrowed brows. One of them might be unfinished, but it is quite obviously a hand.
"See?" Ant asked. "They're cactuses. This one is a cactus and the other one looks like one of those rollie things that rolls through the desert."
Tell me you don't REALLY want to see them now. Don't worry, I'm getting there. I just have to FINISH THIS FRIGGING CLASS FIRST! We have two papers to go- one is the regular deal where we do a workshop on Thursday and turn in the final draft on Monday, but the last one is due on a Thursday! Allow me to translate: That means one 5-7 page paper is due on Monday and a 6-8 page paper is due that Thursday! AND the last paper is accompanied by a PRESENTATION! If that isn't crazy enough, the last paper is using a CRITICISM THAT WE HAVE TO MAKE UP OURSELF! If you have any ideas for that, incidentally, pass them along. I would probably be a lot more interested in that. Maybe I should create tangental criticism. Ha ha ha hmmm. I might be onto something.
OH and (Sorry for the yelling, but I had a beer with din-din. It makes me louder than usual.) I remembered during dinner that I want to take Ant to the yo-yo competition in wherever the hell I read about that. I googled random yo-yo related things until I found the yo-yo museum in Chico, California. That is where I used to go with my crazy boys at Edwards to visit John's family. It was 8 hours from Edwards but only 2 hours from here! I'm planning to take him this year and I wrote it all over the calendar. That seems really crucial to me.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Never doubt the Nazi Stepmother instincts.
We have progress! Chris worked last night but then came home and started working on the back room again. At least half of his stuff is out of the living room and he sat down with me to go over this next week's craziness. He'll be working almost constantly so I'll be back to dinners and dog walks and homework- mine and Ant's. I told him we would be changing things up this year and while he agreed to my demands, I'm not really sure he knows what he's in for. His reading test scores are great and his grades are not, which means we can take what's on all my report cards and apply it to him:
Jenny Ant has so much potential, she he just needs to apply herself himself.
Math grades are okay, but his test scores are barely meeting standards. I want him to be completely proficient in everything they're doing because math only gets harder and I don't want that to keep him from pursuing science or engineering later on. I told him we would be doing Jenny homework whether or not there was school homework. We will also be reading. He will be working in the room with me to limit distractions. Nazi stepmothering or not, he will have a solid base to work from later on.
Besides, it was my Nazi stepmother instincts that brought me to the school yesterday to try and meet his teacher and get the school supply list. Ant won't even be back until Monday so he'll miss the first day, so I thought I'd try to catch him up as much as possible. I was a little thrown to see that the construction is still going on. They do not look ready. I found some people unpacking files from boxes (!) in the nurse's office and was sent on a wild goose chase to find the enrollment guy. He asked what grade Ant was in.
"Sixth." Oh my god, is that right? That can't be right. No, I'm pretty sure that's right. Let's see, we put him in 2nd when he got here, that was 2007...
He couldn't find Ant's name and I thought Oh my god, I'm a bad parent. I don't even know what grade he's in!
I confirmed spelling twice and Ant was not on the sixth grade list.
"Did you return the enrollment package that was sent home last year?" he asked.
Say it with me: "What enrollment package?"
I can only return it if it came to me in the first place! You mean you sent something that important home with a 12-year-old? Your delivery system is FAULTY!
ANT IS NOT ENROLLED IN SCHOOL!!!
Good grief. I am led to one of the trailer classrooms to fill out paperwork. The room contains 2 teachers trying to transform the mess into a classroom. I called Chris to relay the news and ask for Ant's birth city.
"He's in sixth, right?" I murmured.
"Yes."
Oh, good. Let me continue with my outrage.
It doesn't matter that he went to that school last year, he has to enroll again! How am I supposed to know these things! Isn't there some kind of checklist for this?
"Oh, Anthony, you haven't returned your enrollment package. Take this note home to your parents and return it signed tomorrow."
Instead of metal detectors at my front door I need important paperwork detectors! I will have to check his bag before he can come in the house! I will have a stick to rifle through his belongings.
"Excuse me sir, but what is this?"
I finish the paperwork and the enrollment guy asked if I was aware of the uniform policy.
UNIFORMS!
"The last thing I saw was the vote! I didn't know what uniforms had been decided on, or even that uniforms had been decided on!" Your delivery system is FAULTY!
This is when one of the teachers came over to introduce herself as the Parent Involvement Coordinator. I asked if that was for parents to volunteer or involvement with their own children.
"Both," she said.
"Sign me up."
Monday is going to be ridiculous. Go to school, come to the school to find out what teacher he has, get the school supply list, buy a uniform shirt, pick Ant up from the airport, take him to buy school supplies, take him to find khakis or dark blue pants, (Khakis!?! Are they insane? We'll get him dark blue Dickies.) bring him home, take care of the dogs, make sure he unpacks, make dinner, and at some point do my homework.
Tuesday will likely be laundromat. Oh my god, uniforms mean doing laundry more often. Sigh. This is going to be a busy year.
Math grades are okay, but his test scores are barely meeting standards. I want him to be completely proficient in everything they're doing because math only gets harder and I don't want that to keep him from pursuing science or engineering later on. I told him we would be doing Jenny homework whether or not there was school homework. We will also be reading. He will be working in the room with me to limit distractions. Nazi stepmothering or not, he will have a solid base to work from later on.
Besides, it was my Nazi stepmother instincts that brought me to the school yesterday to try and meet his teacher and get the school supply list. Ant won't even be back until Monday so he'll miss the first day, so I thought I'd try to catch him up as much as possible. I was a little thrown to see that the construction is still going on. They do not look ready. I found some people unpacking files from boxes (!) in the nurse's office and was sent on a wild goose chase to find the enrollment guy. He asked what grade Ant was in.
"Sixth." Oh my god, is that right? That can't be right. No, I'm pretty sure that's right. Let's see, we put him in 2nd when he got here, that was 2007...
He couldn't find Ant's name and I thought Oh my god, I'm a bad parent. I don't even know what grade he's in!
I confirmed spelling twice and Ant was not on the sixth grade list.
"Did you return the enrollment package that was sent home last year?" he asked.
Say it with me: "What enrollment package?"
I can only return it if it came to me in the first place! You mean you sent something that important home with a 12-year-old? Your delivery system is FAULTY!
ANT IS NOT ENROLLED IN SCHOOL!!!
Good grief. I am led to one of the trailer classrooms to fill out paperwork. The room contains 2 teachers trying to transform the mess into a classroom. I called Chris to relay the news and ask for Ant's birth city.
"He's in sixth, right?" I murmured.
"Yes."
Oh, good. Let me continue with my outrage.
It doesn't matter that he went to that school last year, he has to enroll again! How am I supposed to know these things! Isn't there some kind of checklist for this?
"Oh, Anthony, you haven't returned your enrollment package. Take this note home to your parents and return it signed tomorrow."
Instead of metal detectors at my front door I need important paperwork detectors! I will have to check his bag before he can come in the house! I will have a stick to rifle through his belongings.
"Excuse me sir, but what is this?"
I finish the paperwork and the enrollment guy asked if I was aware of the uniform policy.
UNIFORMS!
"The last thing I saw was the vote! I didn't know what uniforms had been decided on, or even that uniforms had been decided on!" Your delivery system is FAULTY!
This is when one of the teachers came over to introduce herself as the Parent Involvement Coordinator. I asked if that was for parents to volunteer or involvement with their own children.
"Both," she said.
"Sign me up."
Monday is going to be ridiculous. Go to school, come to the school to find out what teacher he has, get the school supply list, buy a uniform shirt, pick Ant up from the airport, take him to buy school supplies, take him to find khakis or dark blue pants, (Khakis!?! Are they insane? We'll get him dark blue Dickies.) bring him home, take care of the dogs, make sure he unpacks, make dinner, and at some point do my homework.
Tuesday will likely be laundromat. Oh my god, uniforms mean doing laundry more often. Sigh. This is going to be a busy year.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
It may not be likely, but it's still possible.
92 on the first paper, 96 on the second paper, great responses to my next draft at the peer review today... and I just poured water down the front of my shirt. Success can't follow us everywhere, I suppose.
My favorite response in the peer review was:
"I just love how I can hear your voice."
Today wrapped up three weeks- there's only two left. Whew! Ant is enjoying his Southern California vacation and will be back soon- this is my last weekend to accomplish my work in silence.
We've been working on getting the apartment tamed- it has been an unholy disaster. I think I said that I tried to clean and was immediately overwhelmed. I decided that Chris and I should use his time off this week to clean up. :D He agreed for some reason and we did some serious work on our room and his nightmare in the back room. The living room is still hideous but progress is progress.
I'm off to take the girls to the river. Maybe I'll finish my paper tonight so I don't have to do it last minute. Yeah right.
My favorite response in the peer review was:
"I just love how I can hear your voice."
Today wrapped up three weeks- there's only two left. Whew! Ant is enjoying his Southern California vacation and will be back soon- this is my last weekend to accomplish my work in silence.
We've been working on getting the apartment tamed- it has been an unholy disaster. I think I said that I tried to clean and was immediately overwhelmed. I decided that Chris and I should use his time off this week to clean up. :D He agreed for some reason and we did some serious work on our room and his nightmare in the back room. The living room is still hideous but progress is progress.
I'm off to take the girls to the river. Maybe I'll finish my paper tonight so I don't have to do it last minute. Yeah right.
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