Wednesday, July 22, 2015
First Game
Sunday, July 19, 2015
Lovely Weekend
I'm gonna write this now instead of getting ready for bed because I'm not tired at all, and I'll regret it tomorrow morning.
Friday night I made two more converts with Betty Crocker's veggie lasagna recipe. They enjoyed it so much that I only had one serving left over... which actually suits me just fine. It's good, I just don't want to eat anything three times in a row.
Saturday I went to a makeup tennis lesson and reinforced my preference for playing at 7. When our group was discussing options last Wednesday, my instructor referred to his open time as "high noon," and yeah- good grief. There's some conditioning for you.
I've been playing better since Kristen taught me how to bat. When I find myself screwing up, I return back to the primary advice and watch the ball all the way to the connection, which is less instinctive than it sounds. Don't swing back too far, plant my feet, drop the racquet down, swing low to high, follow through... these are all important steps, but secondary to watching that ball. It feels more import to watch where you want it to go, like when riding a bike, but that leaves too long of a moment and too much of a guess about the meeting of the ball and your racquet. Watching it all the way to the connection is both satisfying and successful. Kristen says if you watch the ball, you'll hit it. It may not go where you want, but you'll hit it. I hit it over and I hit in in when I watch the connection. It's interesting, because it is the same problem I am encountering with diabetes: I am trying to anticipate the future. I am often watching where I think the ball is going to go instead of where it is.
I spent the rest of the afternoon running errands to complete my costume for the Superhero Crawl that night. Sarah talked me into going, and made so many suggestions for characters I knew nothing about that I started wracking my own brain for superheroes I loved. I kept coming back to Unbreakable, a movie by my beloved Shyamalan. Sarah wouldn't let me be Security (Wo)man, whose costume was a poncho, so we concocted a female version of Mr. Glass. For his glass cane, I went to a plastics company I knew of in the industrial part of Sparks, and sure enough, they had plexiglass rods. I got a piece cut, found a cane tip at Walmart, then went to Home Depot to find a handle. I originally thought an antique store doorknob would be neat, but had no idea how I would attach it. At the Depot, I saw this one employee and felt like he was the guy to ask. He was helping someone else, so I kept walking and took a loop through the store for inspiration. No doorknobs or curtain rod ends were cheap enough to consider, and I ended up back in his area. Feeling less than optimistic, I followed intuition and told him what I was up to. Turns out he makes costumes. Thinking out loud, he led me towards the doorknobs, but stopped at the drawer pulls, where he found a nice lucite option. He had suggestions for how to attach it. When I confessed that I don't own a drill, he led me back to his area, pulled out a toolbox, cut the head off the drawer pull's screw, drilled a hole into the plexiglass rod, and screwed on the mini doorknob. Done. How awesome is that? This cane, which is the most identifiable piece of the costume, cost me less than $20. I bought the skirt at the thrift store for $3.
I had a blast at the crawl. A bunch of us met up at Harrah's, and you should have seen the getups. There was the Duff beer guy, lots of Captain Underpants, lots of Jokers, Flo from Progressive, a green and very buff Hulk, Iron Man complete with lights, Jabba the Hutt, Boba Fett, Princess Leia, tons of Ninja Turtles, male and female Wonder Womans, a Ghostbusters crew complete with Slimer and the Stay Puft marshmallow man, and of course, more Poison Ivies and Harley Quinns than you could shake a plastic cane at, but a noticeable dearth of Batmans. There was one girl who made a concerted and disgusting attempt at Two Face, and I did see Bane somewhere. Power Rangers, Star Lord, the dude from God of War, at least 30 Captain Americas, and one very sexy, shirtless, and painted Deadpool. And that's just what I remember. There were a ton of people out, and we only hit five bars (and the Gold & Silver: an all-night, casino diner well-known as THE place to eat when hammered).
My own group included a Ninja Turtle, Lara Croft, the Winter Soldier, Loki, some other villain from the Avengers, and the Princess of Power herself, She-Ra! Doesn't Sarah look great? She found the dress and boots at a thrift store, painted the boots gold, bought a plastic sword, and made the rest. Natalia did an awesome Tomb Raider, and Amanda said she assembled her costume five minutes before leaving the house.
I was delivered back home around 3, slept in until 1 this afternoon, hit IHOP and have been relaxing ever since, which is why it doesn't feel like a huge priority to get to bed. Of course, now it's way later than I expected, but I don't mind because you get to see our fun costumes and our pretty sunset and the 1500 piece puzzle that will be the death of me. I have had that thing for at least 5 years and never even opened the box. No wonder, huh?
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Just hit the ball, honey.
I am way too tired to be composing a blog right now, but I just wanted to say that I am having fun, running around, learning new things, and that I am dirty, sweaty, and slightly bruised. Cristine, Kristen, and Amanda have all played a lot of softball, and the goal in our practices is to refresh them and teach me. It was a little unnerving today, because after our practice hitting and fielding, it was time to teach me about running the bases. I got to put my running on display. This was very difficult for me, as I feel like I run like a T-Rex. They deemed my running totally acceptable and non-dinosaur, and discussed whether I was underselling or just way too modest. They explained the base running decision making process, which I furrowed my brow at and asked questions about until I felt I understood just enough to not be able to retain it. Kristen then said my favorite thing ever about what it's like teaching me to play softball. "This would be much easier if she wasn't smart." She has said lots of funny, encouraging remarks about my efforts and athletic skills in this endeavor, but that one's my favorite.
Sunday, July 12, 2015
Busy Bee
I got a fantastic coaching session in softball today. I'll be playing on a team with Cristine and Kristen next week, Gaaahhhh!
I'm a little nervous, of course, but they assure me it's almost the lowest tier you can play. Both of them play a lot of sports, and they feel like I will be fine, but they're on board with helping me practice more before the games start, so it looks like I'll be getting lots of exercise this week.
I never want to go, but I'm always glad I did. My tennis instructor said if we're gonna play tennis, we shouldn't play anything else, but I am not that serious yet. I'm enjoying all these different things. For one, it feels more like play. You're never going to get me into a gym with machines. Actually, maybe I shouldn't say that. I keep surprising myself. But anyway, I like the variety and finding out the recurring themes: stay on the balls of your feet, watch the ball all the way to the connection, get in front of it, follow through, stop trying to kill it. I was taught how to throw. Let me just have a moment to process that.
I'm tired. We were out there for a couple hours, and the games should only be one, but I found myself saying to Cristine that I needed to start running. Hold the phone- what?
I don't know who I am and what I did with your daughter, your sister, your friend.
What I do know is I have to go get ready for this week, because that's tentatively
Monday: tennis lesson
Tuesday: practice softball
Wednesday: yoga class and tennis lesson
Thursday: practice softball
Friday: see the endocrinologist about the insulin pump, then have C&K over for dinner
Saturday: Superhero beer crawl
Who knows if I'll do all that, but it sure sounds like fun. Also, today was 26 days with no diet soda. Yeaaaahhhhh!!!!
Sunday, July 5, 2015
More iced tea, please.
Nineteen days in with Diet Cokes still sitting under my desk and in my fridge. Partially because I had paid for it, partially because I didn't know what to do with it, I let it wait. People said to throw it out, but of course I couldn't do that- I'd recycle it if anything. People said to give it away, but what if they didn't recycle it? Besides, I'm going to make myself healthier by contributing to someone else's decline? So I just now decided to be wasteful with the soda to recycle the cans. Actually, if I throw them in a bag, one of our roving recyclers will grab it and make a little money. Maybe I wouldn't have been able to resist if I had tried this sooner.
Come to me, cover me, hold me
Together we'll break these chains of Diet Coke
Don't give up (Don't give up)
Don't give up (Don't)
Friday, July 3, 2015
You know I love to drive.
I'm all bitter because I forgot I agreed to go to something, I look like an asshole, I look like an even bigger asshole because I haven't gone to any of these things, because I always find a reason, because I... well... I think this is envy and introversion. And right now I feel socialized out. I always have a good time (eventually), but it is so hard to go. The amount of stress I feel at having to go find some place downtown, find parking that feels reasonably safe, then go try to act normal among 10-20 people that I don't know overwhelms me. It is so much easier to do that stuff with someone else. The danger is that you don't socialize with other people then, I get it. I'm not saying I don't do this or don't recognize the importance- I just find it unbelievably stressful.
When I went to the nightclub last Friday, it was with a friend, and we met another friend there. It was a fundraiser for my old coworker's football team. She was there with her fiancee, and I've met a few of their teammates enough to know their names, but when I attend those things alone, I try to do what I can, but often end up standing around awkwardly.
Tomorrow I'm going to celebrate the 4th with a friend from UNR and her friends that I have hung out with a lot in the past several years. Sunday, Amanda and Natalia are coming over for dinner. This is going to be about all the socialization I can stand. Even if I had remembered the event tonight, I would not have been able to go. To me, that reminder tonight was like rotating red flashing beacons. Sorry, but that is a hell no.
At work this week, the DiSC assessment came up. J did not believe I was a D. I pulled up my results to show him, and he said he would have thought I'd be more of an SI- the exact opposite of what my results were. We talked a bit about it- there are things I think that have had an impact- but what it is making me realize is that nobody here- not my friends, not my coworkers, certainly not my neighbors- knows me really well. Chris did, Ant did, Mike & Elaine... maybe that's part of why they are still so important to me. I told J that while I am missing some confidence, I am also surrounded by people at work who are very confident and used to leading. I thought of this class I took- I was put in a group with J and my boss. We were given some information to present, and they were so in tune with each other that they just decided what they were doing and put me into some narrator role. The suggestions I offered were almost blown off, and I promise you they weren't aware of what they were doing. I kept championing this one suggestion I'd made, and not only did it make it into the final presentation, but the class found it to be pivotal.
I didn't give that example to J, but I did point out that if I'm a room with people like him and my boss, there's no room for other ringleaders. When I see the need for a driver, I drive. I like to drive, but I am not the kind of person who needs to be the driver no matter what. I think those of you who know me best know that. I think you'd be suprised at how I think my friends here see me. Maybe I'm wrong. I wasn't wrong with Jenea, though. She didn't like who I actually am. I'm trying to show my authentic self as much as possible, but as I've said before, I had no idea how private I actually am. No, not private. I'm like Chunk in the Goonies. I'll tell you everything back to the third grade. Introverted- that's true, but more than that I think it's that I try hard to keep my mouth shut when I think somebody's being an idiot or an asshole. I won't tell you that. If I do, you are in my innermost circle. I try to keep the sugar coating crystallized for everyone else, though, because apparently politeness is more important to me than honesty. Or maybe I just don't trust anyone. Do we all wind up with trust issues?
In tennis, in managing my diabetes, at work, and maybe in friendships too, I'm hearing echoes of the same message: I do know what I'm doing, and I do not need to assign myself to the backseat. Maybe it's just time that- thank you, Incubus- I hold my own and drive.
Thursday, July 2, 2015
I can't seem to get through Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Thanks to a three day weekend and joining a tennis drill class, I finally made it out for protein and beer after a workout.
That's three days of tennis in really frigging hot weather. What's funny is that as much as I hate the heat, I don't even care. As soon as I leave the courts, I'm griping again, but it doesn't seem to matter when I play. That's some confirmation that I'm onto something, huh?
You know what I'm cranky about lately? That there's not enough time for tv. Isn't that a weird complaint? I want to lay around and watch a movie or a Ken Burns documentary, but I just don't have that kind of time. I'm sad, and I miss it, but I like the other things more. I have decided that I'm losing weight, and a friend did tell me that unprompted, but I feel like it just has to be the case. Sean said to remember that I'm building muscle, and not to be dismayed if the number isn't drastically different. I think it must be different though... I have decided it.
Today was 16 days with no diet soda.
I have a blog in progress to tell you about my night out and paddle boarding. For now, though, I've gotten my post tennis beer and protein. It's time to go home, walk the dogs, and pass out in front of a movie.