Bad, bad dreams.
Squirming awake, the dream too awful to sleep through.
Attempts to recover, to separate dreams from reality. This means thinking of the dream, which creates pangs of shame and hurt. Then a deeper hurt to recognize that the dream is not all that different from reality.
Inability to go back to sleep, worries about funds, frustration at dependence on person who is capable of doing horrible things things, person who ripped my heart out.
Itchy eyes from snuggling with the cat.
Then I give in and write, sob, hurt.
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