Let me have something nice in the mail today.
We walked over and the mailbox was stuffed. I got a magazine! Coupons! And Riley's AKC Canine Good Citizen certificate. Wow, ask and you shall receive, huh?
I'm going to leave a lot out here and just tell you... that I cleaned my kitchen, I walked the dog, I played with the cat. I did some homework and I started writing my essay. I am considering taking this next weekend to knock out projects that have been on my to do list for too long- I am tired of rewriting the list and seeing the same things on it.
I have been going to the gym once a week. I have been tracking my blood sugar. I have been taking 20 minute naps as needed and this may still be sad and difficult, but I'm doing it anyway. And because I can't say it enough, I love my apartment and how cozy it feels to me. I love the support my family and friends have shown to me. More and more often I am spending my evenings enjoying the quiet, feeling more rested. And when I don't feel rested, I'm willing to take the extra time to relax. My errands used to be 12-hour long affairs. Now it's in smaller pieces. I don't know... just an example. Things are changing.
I'm reading Eat Pray Love at Shannon's suggestion. I read it because Shannon does not recommend bad books, and that movie looked BAD. She very pointedly recommended the book, not the movie. She's right, though- the book is good. Very good. I have marked a chapter that I suspect I will want to reread periodically, about her surface frustrations with her current daily struggle and the underlying heartbreak that just hasn't left yet. A friend comes to talk with her:
He says, "Give it another six months, you'll feel better."
"I've already given it twelve months, Richard."
"Then give it six more. Just keep throwin' six months at it till it goes away. Stuff like this takes time."
Her friend talks more about what soul mates are really for (which I won't get into even though I thought it was really insightful and probably more true (and a lot more likely) than the idea we carry around that a soul mate is some perfectly matched, astronomically unlikely person that we just so happened to meet in our very own town! Amazing! No, the part I want to tell you about (and then shut up, because I need to go to bed) is what he says in response to her arguments:
"But I love him."
"So love him."
"But I miss him."
"So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, and then drop it. You're just afraid to let go of the last bits of David because then you'll really be alone, and Liz Gilbert is scared to death of what will happen if she's really alone."
And then he talks about that space that's being taken up with this person and that love, and what will happen when she frees that space up. Essentially, nature abhors a vacuum, but not that she will just immediately find another person to love. Not so much any one person to fill that space, but just a whole lot of love in general.
That's about as much as I can explain without giving you a lot of background, but I'm halfway through this book, and it came at a really good time. I recommend it too, even though if you're like me, the previews made you really uninterested in either seeing the movie or reading the book. I'm not gonna watch the movie.
Okay. It's late. I'm off to bed. Tomorrow will be good.
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