I write it down because someday I'll see the whole story. For now, though, it's just the trees.
I am cracked open again. It comes in waves that swallow me lately, and seems to be as bad as when it started. It can't be, though- I know that. Six months have passed and I'm still cold. I can't catch my breath because the water keeps coming.
Is this because I opened it up again? Or because there are now accidental brushes that I'm supposed to be fine with? Or because I am not living up to all this potential people think I have? (Story of my report cards.)
It shouldn't take more than a year
Just hang on. Drink some tea and take a hot shower. Go to bed early and cry it all out. I know these things. Return to the basics: sleep. Eat soup. Drink tea. Brush your teeth. Go to work. Breathe.
Then you can start looking for the little things again.
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