Those who know

I went to Kohl's last night to blow off some of the emotional nonsense of this week with some retail therapy.

I prowled the clearance racks, of course. Their clearance was an extra 25% off, which they do often between seasons. Working there must be a nightmare- I know I must try on fifty items every time I hit the dressing room. And those clearance racks are some serious black holes.

I found (I'm so proud) six shirts, most of which show off my waist as Jenea instructed. One of them I don't intend to wear at all- I bought it for the attached scarf. Yes, I liked the scarf that much; yes, the deal was that good; and yes, Jenny bought a scarf. It's got wide stripes the short way and it's white and soft yellow. The scarf yellow is good; the shirt yellow is not.

Kohl's non-sale prices are ridiculous, but you can find some killer deals if you wade through their clearance messes. I make sure to eat a solid meal beforehand and bring some water. Their clearance underwear is on six different racks in two parts of the store and is only sorted by which rack was closest to the sales associate. They also have a couple of those tiered, round tables like at Victoria's Secret, but Kohl's is not sorted by size or style. It's all thrown in. Short of throwing some on the floor to make room to see, there isn't much you can do there but dig fruitlessly, but I found three pairs of nice looking underwear, originally marked at $8, $9, and $10.50.

In jewelry, I found a nice, slim silver ring and a pair of bee earrings by a company called Itsy Bitsy. Finally, someone gets my need for understated jewelry. And the bees- there's something about spring and being productive that makes me want to wear bees. My prize from the jewelry section was a Sterling silver locket that was originally marked at $80. I got it for $6.

I checked out with my 30% off coupon and took off another good sized chunk. Then, as an afterthought, asked if my other coupon would work. It was supposed to be $10 off $30 of bras, undies, lingirie, and "daywear." I didn't buy $30 of underwear, but what the hell is daywear? The clerk said she didn't know, but tried the coupon. All my underwear went to $0.00. She circled my total savings: $230. I giggled and walked out to the car with my bag of goodies. Once inside, I reviewed the receipt. Hey, wait! Where's my Kohl's cash? During certain times, you can get a $10 coupon for every $50 you spend! Then I laughed a hard, victory laugh as I realized that I didn't spend enough. I got out of there for $42.

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