Chris would get defensive at that statement, say that he paid, blah blah blah. What he never understood is that I was not discounting his contributions, but that there are a lot more contributions to make than just the financial, as I'm sure he's learning. And by the way, considering all his expenses, I think our financial contributions were pretty even. Don't shake your heads at me- I did the budgeting. I know.
We spent a couple years at the laundromat with the vision of moving somewhere with a washer and dryer, never needing the laundromat for anything except washing the comforters. When we finally could move, we chose a house that had a washer and dryer, only to have the landlord try to say that their listing was wrong. Tough! I argued for that and I won't even go back over the other fights again. They gave us a washer and dryer. After a while, the washer died and Chris and I picked out our first major appliance together. We paid it off- interest free- and had an energy-efficient beautiful new washer.
But now I'm back at the goddamn laundromat. After spending all day sitting in a box, staring at the wall, I get to run home and greet my excited dog, take her for a short walk in the wind, then see her little face fall as I collect the laundry and head towards the door. I get to haul laundry even as my blood sugar crashes and it's worse now because there's no one to help me carry it. I get to go to the laundromat again as Chris continues to live in that house and use that washer. That leads me directly to a lot more bitterness regarding his tramp and the rage-inducing thought of her sleeping in my bed, using my beautiful shower, touching things that I lovingly picked out over the years, eating off my plates, chatting with my stepson. Meanwhile, I'll be at the fucking laudromat.
But this morning I found something that brings me joy.
When I moved in here, I got two house keys. I looked for a keychain to put the spare on, thinking I would have to buy one, but found I already had one. Either Mom or Dad got this for me in Indonesia or somewhere and it's been hanging on my bulletin board for a while. It's ceramic and I was afraid to put it with my main set of keys since they're always getting thrown around. This was perfect because it's one key that goes in my pocket when I go for a walk. This thing makes me happy whenever I look at it, put it in my pocket, or even think about it. This may be an extreme example of simple pleasures, but whatever works, right? So here- here is something that makes me happy.
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