ASSumptions

I have not deleted people from Facebook even when they post constant, nonsensical religious rants or stupid, thoughtless, or contradictory political comments.  I think of those comments as a way of reminding myself that people do not think the same way I do, and I’d be hard-pressed to find anyone who aligned with me on everything.  This doesn’t mean that we can’t be friends (or barely acquaintances online), or that I can’t support them when they have an exciting, funny, or sad moment in their lives.  Their presence and sometimes obnoxious posts remind me to think twice about what I post because I cannot assume that everyone agrees with me.  The smart people do, ha ha ha.

So here’s this thing that was placed on my desk today, intended to be a Monday funny ha-ha:

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math destruction.

‘Al-Gebra is a problem for us,’ the Attorney General said. ‘They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.’ They use secret code names like “X” and “Y” and refer to themselves as “unknowns” but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, “There are 3 sides to every triangle.”

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.”

Sigh.

That was cute up until the part that was clearly added, because it has absolutely nothing to do with anything except a political bias.  Now you’re pretending as if the crap you wrote is some integral part of the joke.  How presumptuous of you, asshole.

This is what makes me crazy about all these people on Facebook spouting nonsense: Why do you assume that everyone agrees with you?  Silence does not imply agreement.