Maybe I could have done that goldfish puzzle with some great lighting, undisturbed on one of my eleven tables, but instead I made steady progress whenever I felt like it over the course of three evenings, during phone calls or Frasier episodes.
I talked to my coach tonight for this VA program. We're covering a lot of topics and sometimes I wonder if it's doing any good. I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere because I am so constantly up and down. My motivation and mood depends on the hour. Sometimes our talks find me down and pessimistic; sometimes I am cheerful.
Tonight I was telling him how I had been drawn to comfort food, but making myself eat veggies with it. It's not the plate method that they teach, but at least it's something. "This is the point," he said. "We're trying to find something that works for you." If lists work, great. If schedules don't, ok. If I can't stop the imaginary confrontations with deep breathing, but I can with sensory distractions, that's awesome.
He chuckled at my discovery of bagels and cream cheese and suggested trying to make those choices as healthy as possible: whole wheat bagels, low fat cream cheese. I said I thought I could apply this elsewhere: trying to envision a confrontation in which I can be less angry, or maybe while cleaning up I don't break out the crevice tool, but just run the vacuum. Maybe it's not perfect or what I intended, but it will work, and it will feel much better than no progress at all, and the crucial part of this is to make sure I am moving forward. So off to the thrift store with you, fish puzzle.
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